Oh, It’s Tuesday: Why Gay Isn’t the New Black (Yet)
So I’ve been going back and forth with myself about whether to write on the subject of what’s been happening in the wake of Prop 8. On one hand I consider myself a diehard ally of the gay marriage movement. On the other hand, as a staight, I didn’t necessarily know if it was “my place” to speak on this in more complicated terms. I don’t often keep my general opinions to myself (I am, afterall, a blogger), but believe it or not I actually have a hard time sharing my political ones. So many people people have political opinions, and most of them are better stated than mine.
However, I’ve been thinking on this issue for seemingly every waking moment lately, and I feel now that I must say something if just because my mind has been composing away without my approval and I need to clear out some room for my next novel and other subjects that I might want to write about.
That all said, let’s talk about why Gay Isn’t the New Black (Yet). Though I’m going to put forth strong opinions in this article, this is first and foremost and invitation for discussion, so it’s actually more important than ever that you weigh in on the subject in the comments.
The Gay Marriage Movement needs to take The Black Civil Rights Movement (BCRM) Seriously. There has been a lot of discussion about how “blacks,” this singularly-thinking monolith according to the MSM, are insulted that the GMM would compare itself to the BCRM, because blacks suffered through hundreds of years of slavery and decades of Jim Crow Laws. Well, I’m of the opinion that a civil right is a civil right and every one deserves them, no matter their history, race, creed, or sexual orientation. So if you have a group of people without a basic civil right, that’s got to change even if some of their ancestors weren’t slaves or killed in a holocaust.
HOWEVER, I do think the GMM needs to take the BCRM seriously. It’s not enough to say that this is a civil rights movement. We must study the BCRM, analyze what they did right and what they did wrong and reorganize accordingly. More on this in the sections after the jump:
Don’t Harbor People Who Are Passing: I cannot speak to how hard is must be to come out, especially if you live in a hostile environment or have family and friends that would not be accepting of your true sexual orientation. However, I can speak to how difficult it is to be black. And I can say that while I understand why some light-skinned blacks have given into the temptation to pass as white, I would not tolerate it.
A lot of people gave Wanda Sykes props for recently coming out. But I am ashamed of her. How could she pass for so long when her fellow gay brothers and sisters needed her?
No doubt that gays have a visibility problem. The country is around 12% black, we know that. But we have no idea how many gays there are, mainly because so many are passing. I don’t think it will help anything to out all of these people who so desperately want to pass as straight. However, I would never, ever sleep or pursue a relationship with someone who I knew was passing as white. Ever. I don’t know any black women who would put up with this, so I wonder why the Wanda Sykes of the world have partners and why closeted gay men are able to satisfy their sexual needs for years without getting “caught.”
Like black people, there is little that out gays can do about gays who choose to remain in the closet. But if every out gay person made the decision now not to sleep with anyone else who to their knowledge is passing as straight, imagine what a dent that would make.
Don’t Get Angry at the Chickens: If I hear that “chickens have more rights than we do” line one more time, I’m going to scream. First of all, it’s not true. Those chickens are living under barely decent conditions before they are slaughtered and eaten. They do not have more rights than gay people do. Second of all, it’s petty. Chickens deserve to be able to move around while they’re still living AND gays deserve marriage rights. Resenting a chicken for its newfound rights makes you look both silly and short-sighted. Also, how would you feel if immigrants started complaining that “gays have more rights than we do?” C’mon…
Stop Blaming Black Women: Let’s do the math here. Blacks make up about 10% of the population in California. Let’s say that black women make up about half of that. So you’re angriest that 70% of 5% of the population voted against gay marriage? I mean I’m angry to, but I don’t understand why so many news cycle have been dedicated to this. A) It scapegoats one segment of the population, which is never good for a civilized cause; and even more importantly, B) it’s a waste of good sense and time. Distracted much from the real point?
Get Organized: Now this is my main beef with the gay marriage movement. It just doesn’t seem very organized. After giving a lot of money and time to Vote No on Prop 8, I’m barely hearing from the now. I think their last email was over three weeks ago. So now I’m all fired up, but what do I do? Who do I boycott? How do I direct my passion for this cause? I need some direction please! In fact here are some suggestions, taken directly from Black Civil Rights Movement:
Form a regional organization: The NAACP was great, but black people needed city-by-city efforts in order to pull off civil rights. Just like the South and the East Coast and the West Coast had different issues to tackle back then, so it is today. We need some kind of west coast alliance to focus directly on getting prop 8 overturned.
Get visible: For all I know there IS a west coast alliance focused directly on getting prop 8 overturned — I just don’t know about them. I have passion, but I don’t necessarily have the time to hunt down a suitable org to give my service and money to. Now this is where studying the BCRM really comes in handy, because there are an awful lot of things we could bring back in order to bring more visibility to the movement, including
An Official Boycott List: So I used to take a ton of business and friend meetings at El Coyote because I work very close to this restaurant. But their owner donated money to Yes on 8, so now that particular restaurant is dead to me. Many of my co-workers feel the same. I know that they are losing money because of this and I’d be shocked if that owner donated money again to the anti-gay marriage movement. Good. Boycotts work. But who else? We need an official organization with an official list.
Bring back peaceful sit-ins: So I know there’s a sort of gay flash mob in Los Angeles that used to converge on random straight bars every once in awhile and just buy drinks and socialize. I don’t see why this can’t be taken further. A protest outside a Mormon Church gets attention, but how about actually attending a Sunday service? If you hear that a black church organized and raised a bunch of money for Yes on Prop 8, organize a huge group of gay people and go to their Sunday service. Take in the word. Leave an offering and designate on the outside of the envelope that you would like it to go to overturn Prop 8 or Aids Ministry or any number of good causes that aren’t Yes on Prop 8. I’ve a deep suspicion that many of the people that voted Yes on Prop 8 don’t know any gay people or their vocal allies. This would be a great way to introduce ourselves. Let’s desegrate our churches.
Work the legal system: Listen, we could have organized against segregation until the cows came home, but without Thurgood Marshall and other black lawyers, we wouldn’t have seen much progress. Who are gay marriage’s Thurgood Marshalls? We need lawyers with a recognizable name and face and we need to SEE them working the legal system on behalf of gay marriage.
In fact, we need more faces in general. Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Ghandi. Who will step up to lead this movement? Here’s the thing, both MLK and Malcolm X were groomed to be civil rights leaders. Who are we grooming to lead the fight for gay rights?
Seriously, I believe that gay marriage is both achievable and inevitable. But we’ve got to work harder on this. And we’ve got to get smarter. Otherwise gay marriage will happen later than sooner.
.
Kyle's right – El Coyote blew WAAAAAAAY before Margie plunked down $100 because the Church of Jeebus Christ of Lame Douchebag Shitheads told her she would go to hell if she didn't. There are dozens of better restaurants than El Coyote – there are event taco trucks that serve better food.
Sharon Tate's not the only who's had her last meal there. The best thing that could happen to El Coyote would be for its doors to close, its walls to be torn down and for the ground it was built on to be sown with margarita salt.
All of these points are valid (and arguable, mind you – I agree on some, but not on others, but as you say this is a forum for open discussion and debate.) While "Gay is the New Black" may not be entirely accurate (yet), this fight does signify the next step in the fight for equal rights for all. The gay community may not have suffered hundreds of years of slavery and oppression, but then again the black community was not stigmatized and marginalized in ways the gay community has been. I recommend the documentaries BEFORE STONEWALL and AFTER STONEWALL for a great historical perspective. And while at it, add THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK to your NetFlix qeue, preferably before you see Sean Penn as the "Mayor of Castro Street." Ernessa's point about Milk urging people to come out is a valid one (but also arguable as the coming out process is a very personal experience and shouldn't be subject to the whims of others.) And yes, if there is a "boycott" list out there, I'd like to see it!
A few things:
Coming out is a very personal and challenging decision, and I think it's great that Wanda Sykes did it the way she did. She decided to speak at a rally for marriage rights as a woman in a same-sex marriage, which is a pretty cool way to come out, if you ask me. Sure, she could've done it sooner or differently, but it was clearly her time to take a stand and she took it. Good for her.
The issue of the black vote in relation to Prop 8 was handled pretty smartly a few weeks ago by Nate Silver on his blog. http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/11/prop-8-myt… Pam Spaulding (one of my favorite queer political bloggers) discussed it here:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryI… Pam's a black lesbian blogger and she's a daily read for me; she's passionate, smart and well-reasoned about both race and gender issues.
Ernessa, the anger that has been thrown at black people by some (mostly white) gay people has been absolutely infuriating. CNN's inaccurate and misleading poll really unearthed some nasty bigotry in the gay community and it's been disappointing to watch.
The church thing hadn't occurred to me, and I think it's a good idea. Overall I think one of the big impediments to rights for gay folks is religious fundamentalism — even religious folks who aren't particularly fundamentalist seem to easily use the bible to mask their discomfort and that's a hurdle for queers of all colors.
I'm really pissed at the Advocate for that cover. The Portly Dyke over at Shakesville has a great response to it. http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2008/12/em…
And to Kyle's list of companies to boycott add Blockbuster (which rightly deserves to go the way of the dodo since NetFlix is far superior) and Ancestry.com (which makes me sad because I just signed up for a year's membership to do genealogical research – I guess they'll be necrotically baptizing my dead relatives whether I like it or not.)
Correction, meant to say that Ernessa's point mirrors Milk's. (See the movie or movies and find out more.)
BTW, first!!! :)
You're right that there are problems with No on 8 and organization. The campaign has taken major heat from everyone from bloggers to community leaders to the NYT and Rolling Stone about how poorly they ran things. They're governed by Equality California (that's the office where we did our volunteering). Send them an email or this post, etc:
http://www.eqca.org/site/pp.asp?c=kuLRJ9MRKrH&…
The upside to the passage is that I think it's mobilized a gay rights movement that has the potential to make real impact. Things are going to get better. The nation-wide protest last month was just one example of what we can accomplish and how quickly we can get it together. That's what Milk was about; No on 8 sure wasn't.
i think prop 8 passed because the other side organized better. had the no on prop 8 folks really been on top of their game, i think we'd be having a different conversation right now.
AND – back to Ernessa – don't feel the need to question whether or not you should opine on the marriage equality issue because you're not gay. The gay community must remember that it's members of the straight community whom they need to convince and bring over to their side, and the more voices raised in solidarity, the stronger the cause becomes. So be out and proud, Ernessa (albeit not in that "gay" way.) :)
Check out Jon Stewart's interview with former presidential candidate (and first to start campaigning in Iowa for 2012) Mike Huckabee.
http://www.towleroad.com/2008/12/jon-stewart-to.h…
Further prood that the GLBT community needs valiant straight voices in the fight for marriage equality.
The HRC has a comprehensive list of Prop 8 donors here: http://www.hrc.org/news/11542.htm. It's interesting to take a gander. If you're interested in some suggestions for restaurant boycotts, look here: http://laist.com/2008/11/12/prop_8_and_where_you_…
In short, El Pollo Loco, Chevy's, Acapulco, El Torito, and Outback blow. But they kinda did before I knew their bigwigs donated to Prop 8, so okay. And if you go to Burger King, check the franchise — say no to C&L. Oh, and Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters blow too, btw; I don't have the citation for that but their president donated.
As for El Coyote, it wasn't the owner, but I believe the owner's daughter who was herself a manager. That is until she resigned: http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryI… So I guess you could go there again if you want, but I'll take El Conquistador over that mess any day. Plus it's in your hood.
I liked Ernessa points. It's a complicated issue and the media wants to make it simple. I think what we need is more boycotts and sit in's. I guess in the end it's about better organization.
Also I don't think tomorrows day without a gay will do much good. One day events make the news but I don't think they help make change. What do all of you think?
i was even offended when people were saying "gay is the new black." i'm not even black. or gay. this is not to say that one struggle is greater than another as i think these are different fights with different histories. alas, the bottom line is civil rights, which is the greatest similarity,
i agree with ernessa. still a lot of ranting, raving but no one to lead the charge. in due time….
This whole debate about gay being the new black had really been weighing on me especially after reading your previous blog (http://fierceandnerdy.com/?p=2640). As I commented then I was not comfortable with the assertion that gay was the new black, but could not articulate an argument. Thank you….you articulated for me and I am sure several others! Simply brilliant and right on point.
Wow, guys thanks for all of your comments. I actually feel reinvigorated for the fight having read what all you have to say on the matter and I'm currently think-tanking how to apply some of our arguments in real life.
Kyle, your resources are invaluable. I'm sending a copy of this post to EQCA after I get done w/ this comment. I don't really eat at any of the restaurants you mentioned, but I actually loved El Coyote b/c it was convenient and good enough. Of course, El Conquistador is way better.
Chuck, I did see that Mike Huckabee interview on The Daily Show, and I was really proud of John Stewart for having that debate in a public forum. People need to think more about how silly and historically inaccurate that "redefining the word marriage" argument is. Marriage is and has always been a liquid concept, and the time for gay marriage is now.
Kyle and Chuck, I hope I made it clear that I don't think people should be forced out of closet. I do, however, want already out gays not to facilitate in others passing. I know that we completely disagree on this point, but I have to say that as long as coming out is considered a "decision," then being gay will be considered a "decision" in certain quarters. It's hard to make a strong argument for the latter AND the former. And as a person who belongs to a no-choice minority, I find this argument a little baffling. Why does coming out get to be a personal decision? Why is passing if your life isn't in danger okay?
Also I think that the subject of passing gay men is a very sore one in the black community b/c of the "down low" (black gay men with wives, girlfriends and sometimes kids at home) trend. When does this become not a personal decision? Is it okay for a gay man to marry a woman if he hasn't been clear with her about his sexual past? Should out gay men facilitate that? These are such difficult discussions to have, but I think it's obvious that we need to start having them if the GMM is serious about getting more black women on their side for the next vote.
For starters, I think the phrase "no-choice minority" is really problematic. Also, coming out gets to be a personal decision because it just is, barring the act of "outing" (which I'm not entirely against — at least amongst destructively anti-gay types, etc.). The closet is a direct result of homophobia and heterosexism, so it's not always so easy to self-identify, nor is it so wise to go public. This is where the correlation between racial civil rights and GLBT civil rights becomes a little complicated, as beneficial as I think the comparisons can be. Sexuality is something that develops, and gay people never cease coming out, frankly. In any new situation, one always has to choose whether, how and when to identify, what kind of language to use, how to behave, what to disclose, etc.
It's another reason why I don't think "passing" is always an adequate description of people who are in the closet. I can't imagine anyone would suggest that a closeted Wanda Sykes (or Jodie Foster or David Hyde Pierce) were attempting to "pass" so much as they were just not going public. Unless they were participating in sham marriages or boasting about their hetero prowess I don't think "passing" is really what is happening in this regard. Granted, I have a lot more respect for all of those people now that they're out than I did before they were, but then again, I didn't exactly do the work according to the timetables of others either, so I find it hard to insist that others conform to my ideas of what the proper way to "come out" is.
The downlow and homophobia in the black community are their own complicated animals; I don't really know how beneficial it is to discuss the closet as some big blanket affliction where Wanda Sykes pre-coming-out and a married guy cheating on his wife with men are equally transgressive. By extension I feel confident that black women can tell the difference between a man living on the downlow and a gay couple wanting a legal recognition of its relationship. Honestly, in the marriage movement, the issue of the closet seems more pressing to me in terms of the movement itself. Gay people wanting to be married and going to court to do so are most definitely out; the campaign to fight Prop 8 didn't use the word gay in most of its signage and campaign literature. When the political movement and leadership are more timid than the people they're fighting for, that's a real problem.
Kyle's right – El Coyote blew WAAAAAAAY before Margie plunked down $100 because the Church of Jeebus Christ of Lame Douchebag Shitheads told her she would go to hell if she didn't. There are dozens of better restaurants than El Coyote – there are event taco trucks that serve better food.
Sharon Tate's not the only who's had her last meal there. The best thing that could happen to El Coyote would be for its doors to close, its walls to be torn down and for the ground it was built on to be sown with margarita salt.
All of these points are valid (and arguable, mind you – I agree on some, but not on others, but as you say this is a forum for open discussion and debate.) While "Gay is the New Black" may not be entirely accurate (yet), this fight does signify the next step in the fight for equal rights for all. The gay community may not have suffered hundreds of years of slavery and oppression, but then again the black community was not stigmatized and marginalized in ways the gay community has been. I recommend the documentaries BEFORE STONEWALL and AFTER STONEWALL for a great historical perspective. And while at it, add THE TIMES OF HARVEY MILK to your NetFlix qeue, preferably before you see Sean Penn as the "Mayor of Castro Street." Ernessa's point about Milk urging people to come out is a valid one (but also arguable as the coming out process is a very personal experience and shouldn't be subject to the whims of others.) And yes, if there is a "boycott" list out there, I'd like to see it!
A few things:
Coming out is a very personal and challenging decision, and I think it's great that Wanda Sykes did it the way she did. She decided to speak at a rally for marriage rights as a woman in a same-sex marriage, which is a pretty cool way to come out, if you ask me. Sure, she could've done it sooner or differently, but it was clearly her time to take a stand and she took it. Good for her.
The issue of the black vote in relation to Prop 8 was handled pretty smartly a few weeks ago by Nate Silver on his blog. http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/11/prop-8-myt… Pam Spaulding (one of my favorite queer political bloggers) discussed it here:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryI… Pam's a black lesbian blogger and she's a daily read for me; she's passionate, smart and well-reasoned about both race and gender issues.
Ernessa, the anger that has been thrown at black people by some (mostly white) gay people has been absolutely infuriating. CNN's inaccurate and misleading poll really unearthed some nasty bigotry in the gay community and it's been disappointing to watch.
The church thing hadn't occurred to me, and I think it's a good idea. Overall I think one of the big impediments to rights for gay folks is religious fundamentalism — even religious folks who aren't particularly fundamentalist seem to easily use the bible to mask their discomfort and that's a hurdle for queers of all colors.
I'm really pissed at the Advocate for that cover. The Portly Dyke over at Shakesville has a great response to it. http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2008/12/em…
And to Kyle's list of companies to boycott add Blockbuster (which rightly deserves to go the way of the dodo since NetFlix is far superior) and Ancestry.com (which makes me sad because I just signed up for a year's membership to do genealogical research – I guess they'll be necrotically baptizing my dead relatives whether I like it or not.)
Correction, meant to say that Ernessa's point mirrors Milk's. (See the movie or movies and find out more.)
BTW, first!!! :)
You're right that there are problems with No on 8 and organization. The campaign has taken major heat from everyone from bloggers to community leaders to the NYT and Rolling Stone about how poorly they ran things. They're governed by Equality California (that's the office where we did our volunteering). Send them an email or this post, etc:
http://www.eqca.org/site/pp.asp?c=kuLRJ9MRKrH&…
The upside to the passage is that I think it's mobilized a gay rights movement that has the potential to make real impact. Things are going to get better. The nation-wide protest last month was just one example of what we can accomplish and how quickly we can get it together. That's what Milk was about; No on 8 sure wasn't.
i think prop 8 passed because the other side organized better. had the no on prop 8 folks really been on top of their game, i think we'd be having a different conversation right now.
AND – back to Ernessa – don't feel the need to question whether or not you should opine on the marriage equality issue because you're not gay. The gay community must remember that it's members of the straight community whom they need to convince and bring over to their side, and the more voices raised in solidarity, the stronger the cause becomes. So be out and proud, Ernessa (albeit not in that "gay" way.) :)
Check out Jon Stewart's interview with former presidential candidate (and first to start campaigning in Iowa for 2012) Mike Huckabee.
http://www.towleroad.com/2008/12/jon-stewart-to.h…
Further prood that the GLBT community needs valiant straight voices in the fight for marriage equality.
The HRC has a comprehensive list of Prop 8 donors here: http://www.hrc.org/news/11542.htm. It's interesting to take a gander. If you're interested in some suggestions for restaurant boycotts, look here: http://laist.com/2008/11/12/prop_8_and_where_you_…
In short, El Pollo Loco, Chevy's, Acapulco, El Torito, and Outback blow. But they kinda did before I knew their bigwigs donated to Prop 8, so okay. And if you go to Burger King, check the franchise — say no to C&L. Oh, and Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters blow too, btw; I don't have the citation for that but their president donated.
As for El Coyote, it wasn't the owner, but I believe the owner's daughter who was herself a manager. That is until she resigned: http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryI… So I guess you could go there again if you want, but I'll take El Conquistador over that mess any day. Plus it's in your hood.
I liked Ernessa points. It's a complicated issue and the media wants to make it simple. I think what we need is more boycotts and sit in's. I guess in the end it's about better organization.
Also I don't think tomorrows day without a gay will do much good. One day events make the news but I don't think they help make change. What do all of you think?
i was even offended when people were saying "gay is the new black." i'm not even black. or gay. this is not to say that one struggle is greater than another as i think these are different fights with different histories. alas, the bottom line is civil rights, which is the greatest similarity,
i agree with ernessa. still a lot of ranting, raving but no one to lead the charge. in due time….
This whole debate about gay being the new black had really been weighing on me especially after reading your previous blog (http://fierceandnerdy.com/?p=2640). As I commented then I was not comfortable with the assertion that gay was the new black, but could not articulate an argument. Thank you….you articulated for me and I am sure several others! Simply brilliant and right on point.
Wow, guys thanks for all of your comments. I actually feel reinvigorated for the fight having read what all you have to say on the matter and I'm currently think-tanking how to apply some of our arguments in real life.
Kyle, your resources are invaluable. I'm sending a copy of this post to EQCA after I get done w/ this comment. I don't really eat at any of the restaurants you mentioned, but I actually loved El Coyote b/c it was convenient and good enough. Of course, El Conquistador is way better.
Chuck, I did see that Mike Huckabee interview on The Daily Show, and I was really proud of John Stewart for having that debate in a public forum. People need to think more about how silly and historically inaccurate that "redefining the word marriage" argument is. Marriage is and has always been a liquid concept, and the time for gay marriage is now.
Kyle and Chuck, I hope I made it clear that I don't think people should be forced out of closet. I do, however, want already out gays not to facilitate in others passing. I know that we completely disagree on this point, but I have to say that as long as coming out is considered a "decision," then being gay will be considered a "decision" in certain quarters. It's hard to make a strong argument for the latter AND the former. And as a person who belongs to a no-choice minority, I find this argument a little baffling. Why does coming out get to be a personal decision? Why is passing if your life isn't in danger okay?
Also I think that the subject of passing gay men is a very sore one in the black community b/c of the "down low" (black gay men with wives, girlfriends and sometimes kids at home) trend. When does this become not a personal decision? Is it okay for a gay man to marry a woman if he hasn't been clear with her about his sexual past? Should out gay men facilitate that? These are such difficult discussions to have, but I think it's obvious that we need to start having them if the GMM is serious about getting more black women on their side for the next vote.
For starters, I think the phrase "no-choice minority" is really problematic. Also, coming out gets to be a personal decision because it just is, barring the act of "outing" (which I'm not entirely against — at least amongst destructively anti-gay types, etc.). The closet is a direct result of homophobia and heterosexism, so it's not always so easy to self-identify, nor is it so wise to go public. This is where the correlation between racial civil rights and GLBT civil rights becomes a little complicated, as beneficial as I think the comparisons can be. Sexuality is something that develops, and gay people never cease coming out, frankly. In any new situation, one always has to choose whether, how and when to identify, what kind of language to use, how to behave, what to disclose, etc.
It's another reason why I don't think "passing" is always an adequate description of people who are in the closet. I can't imagine anyone would suggest that a closeted Wanda Sykes (or Jodie Foster or David Hyde Pierce) were attempting to "pass" so much as they were just not going public. Unless they were participating in sham marriages or boasting about their hetero prowess I don't think "passing" is really what is happening in this regard. Granted, I have a lot more respect for all of those people now that they're out than I did before they were, but then again, I didn't exactly do the work according to the timetables of others either, so I find it hard to insist that others conform to my ideas of what the proper way to "come out" is.
The downlow and homophobia in the black community are their own complicated animals; I don't really know how beneficial it is to discuss the closet as some big blanket affliction where Wanda Sykes pre-coming-out and a married guy cheating on his wife with men are equally transgressive. By extension I feel confident that black women can tell the difference between a man living on the downlow and a gay couple wanting a legal recognition of its relationship. Honestly, in the marriage movement, the issue of the closet seems more pressing to me in terms of the movement itself. Gay people wanting to be married and going to court to do so are most definitely out; the campaign to fight Prop 8 didn't use the word gay in most of its signage and campaign literature. When the political movement and leadership are more timid than the people they're fighting for, that's a real problem.