Share This

Peg Him! Ask Dr. Miro [What You Didn’t Learn in Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I think my boyfriend wants me to give it to him up his pooper. Does that make him gay or just a freak? This kind of grosses me out but mainly I’m confused. I think he should be happy just putting his wiener inside me since he claims to like women.


Y. Anna Ew

Dear YAE,

Wanting to have something inserted in one’s bottom cavity does not necessarily equate gayness. If a man wants a woman to penetrate him he wants a woman. If he wants a man then, maybe he is gay. It is a hard thing to define when I do not have much information about you and he other than you seem really opinionated regarding topics you know nothing about. Essentially, you are telling me, “I do not understand this. Therefore I think it is weird and gross.”

What exactly do you believe he wants you to give him? A fist? Roses? Eggs Benedict? If you were not so closed-minded, YAE, I would congratulate you on finding a man who is willing to experiment and try new things! I would tell you how lucky you are to have found a fellow who is willing to let go of society’s preconceived notions of what REAL men and women do in the bedroom. Instead, I will just explain what may be going on. I am going to go out on a limb and assume your beau has referred to a desire to be Pegged. Thanks to Dan Savage and his readers back in 2001, pegging became the “official” term for a sex act in which a woman wearing a strap on dildo anally penetrates her male partner.

Some may ask, why would a straight man want this?  Well, there are lots of reasons but I believe the top two would fall under the Pleasure Umbrella, with sensation and role reversal. There is the stimulation of the prostate, as well as all those extremely sensitive nerve endings, and then there is the physical act of being penetrated and submitting to a woman he trusts to actually go there.

There are many pleasing factors for the woman, too. The fabulous Lux Alptraum, editor of, explains it best, “Benefits include the feeling of power/domination that comes with being the penetrating partner, joy at being able to give one’s partner anal pleasure, a naughty thrill at the role reversal/dirty factor of engaging in anal play… and the experience of physical stimulation/pleasure from the act itself—particularly if they’re using a double-ended dildo like the Nexus.”

So you see YAE, while your boyfriend may be both gay and a freak, it is not because of his desire to be Pegged but rather some other factors to which I am not privy. Maybe “putting his wiener inside you” is simply not enough. If you would like to explore some pegging from a safe distance, check out this excellent list. There is more to many, even hetero people’s, sexual repertoires than intra-vaginal penile containment, and that is a fact to be celebrated!

featured image credit: hello jenny

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro