Philosophical Monday: Inherit the Longwindedness or Is Betty Left-Handed?
Adventurer Betty attempts to climb Mt. Grandpa...
So my father and stepmother came to visit Betty this weekend, which was interesting on a few levels. I think every girl worries about becoming like her mother and I’ve certainly inherited quite a few of my mother’s bad traits, including talking too much, worrying too much, overthinking too much, and fearing too much.
But I didn’t realize until this trip that I had also inherited a few bad traits from my father, including rambling on (at least my mother didn’t go to a thousand different places when telling stories), thinking dumb commercials are way funnier than perhaps they really are (I found this out when he cracked up at the same Stride “spit out your gum” lederhosen-wearing dancers commercial which also never fails to put me in stitches), having strongly-held theories about everything (though we’re both happily married, we found ourselves having a rather intense conversation about how one should go about dating and then complaining that no actual single people ever took the dating advice we tried to force upon them), and playing the exact same set of low-grade practical jokes over and over again (ask CH — on second thought, don’t ask CH. He suffers enough as it is).
I also have his short and stubby teeth and the gap that goes with it — though I love my teeth and especially my gap, so that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
...then gives up. Hey, adventurin' ain't easy for a 10-week-old in a dress!
Of course, this got me to wondering what bad traits Betty will inherit from me. I’ve talked before about being concerned that she’ll inherit the fear and worry gene. But I also don’t want her to inherit my tendency to procrastinate, my slight stutter, or my intense level of messiness.
However, it occurs to me that it’s almost impossible to keep your kids from acquiring your generally bad traits. Your very worst traits, sure. But your random little bad quirks — well, that’s what makes you YOU. So no, it looks like Betty is in danger of becoming a really messy worry-wart who laughs uproariously at dumb commercials. And there’s not a lot I can do about that, except hope that she inherits at least a few of my good qualities to balance it out.
But what qualities do you hope your children inherit or don’t inherit from you? Let us know in the comments.
And bt-dubs, we think Betty just might be left-handed (like her father), b/c that’s the one she keeps trying to jam into her mouth. How about that!
If you really don't want Betty to have a certain trait, you can train her not to. You just have to want to do it, and either set a decent example or reconcile yourself to "do as I say, not as I do."
Plus, sometimes children go the other way without explicit effort. Some talkative parents have kids who barely speak because they can't get a word in. My mother is pathologically, call-the-health-department messy, and I live my life with labels for the categories on my bookshelf and labels for the plastic tubs with different kinds of flour and sugar in my pantry.
I'm not sure you can really train kids out of certain traits. I'm hoping that we can teach Betty to be good with money, so that she doesn't have to learn the hard way. But my mother tried to train both my sister and me to be neat and that didn't turn out so well. My sister is super-fastidious and I could never wrap my head around picking up things that are just going to get messy again. Also, I'm suspicious of places that are too clean.
However, I agree that you should try to train your kids out of your worst traits, which is why I'm going to be on Betty about the money thing from day one. However, I still haven't figured out if the general anxiety is something I learned, inherited, or a sort of PSTD since it started after my mother's death, but other than encouraging Betty to be super-confident and try new things, even if she's afraid, I'm not sure that I can train her out of it.
Those two along with not being a mean kid are the traits that I hope I can train her out of. If I can manage those three, I'm honestly okay if she's messy or has an infantile sense of humor into adulthood.
If you really don't want Betty to have a certain trait, you can train her not to. You just have to want to do it, and either set a decent example or reconcile yourself to "do as I say, not as I do."
Plus, sometimes children go the other way without explicit effort. Some talkative parents have kids who barely speak because they can't get a word in. My mother is pathologically, call-the-health-department messy, and I live my life with labels for the categories on my bookshelf and labels for the plastic tubs with different kinds of flour and sugar in my pantry.
I'm not sure you can really train kids out of certain traits. I'm hoping that we can teach Betty to be good with money, so that she doesn't have to learn the hard way. But my mother tried to train both my sister and me to be neat and that didn't turn out so well. My sister is super-fastidious and I could never wrap my head around picking up things that are just going to get messy again. Also, I'm suspicious of places that are too clean.
However, I agree that you should try to train your kids out of your worst traits, which is why I'm going to be on Betty about the money thing from day one. However, I still haven't figured out if the general anxiety is something I learned, inherited, or a sort of PSTD since it started after my mother's death, but other than encouraging Betty to be super-confident and try new things, even if she's afraid, I'm not sure that I can train her out of it.
Those two along with not being a mean kid are the traits that I hope I can train her out of. If I can manage those three, I'm honestly okay if she's messy or has an infantile sense of humor into adulthood.