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Philosophical Monday: On Becoming a Bad Pregnant Person

So I had  really lovely plans about what kind of pregnant person I would be. First of all, I wouldn’t get sick or have pregnancy symptoms, b/c I rarely get sick and never have symptoms of anything. In fact, I got through 6 months in China with only one bout of food poisoning, which is — ask anyone who went to China pre-the-new-economy aughts — pretty much a frickin’ miracle. However, that didn’t work out.

And I remember quite clearly telling Ryan Dixon from Fierce Anticipation just 5 years ago that I planned to be the kind of parent that you didn’t even know had kids unless you specifically asked, b/c I couldn’t stand moms who talk non-stop about their kids. But obviously, that’s not working out either. Yet.

yourpregnancyBeing a person who likes to read, I assumed that I’d read every book possible on pregnancy and raising kids. But you know what? The bestselling book on pregnancy What to Expecting When Expecting is boring as f*ck. I mean so boring that I cannot stay awake while reading this. Seriously, if you suffer from insomnia, buy this book. I 100% guarantee that it will be cured. I’ve only managed to make it through the first trimester stuff, and that’s only after a complete self-applied guilt trip, that I doubt would work twice.

The situation for me learning anything about my own pre-natal care before our baby was actually born was looking pretty dire, but then luckily I went to a breakfast for dinner-themed holiday party, hosted by new parents. So while talking non-stop about her new baby (cute as a button and mellow as the day is long) and my developing fetus, she suggested Your Pregnancy: week by week, which is basically a weekly breakdown of all things pre-natal — and get this: Not boring as f*ck. So if you’ve been having the same problem to with WTEWE as I have, then try this book.

In other Good News: The Monkey Bread was a nice little couple dish to make together and a HUGE hit. Big thanks going out to Ayana G who left a fantastic recipe for us in the comments. Recipe after the jump.

In other Bad News: I’m working on not cussing like a sailor anymore, but it’s not going too well either. Is there anyone out there who has managed to clear up their potty mouth for a baby? If so, let me know how you did it in the comments.

Verbatim from Ayana G:

Make Monkey Bread. It’s easy, and absolutely delicious!!! Here’s a recipe I snagged online. I use butter instead of margarine, and pecans instead of walnuts, but other than that, it looks right. Oh, and you’ll need a tube or bundt pan. Do you have one?

3 (12 ounce) packages refrigerated biscuit dough
1 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 cup margarine
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease one 9 or 10 inch tube pan.
Mix white sugar and cinnamon in a plastic bag. Cut biscuits into quarters. Shake 6 to 8 biscuit pieces in the sugar cinnamon mix. Arrange pieces in the bottom of the prepared pan. Continue until all biscuits are coated and placed in pan. If using nuts, arrange them in and among the biscuit pieces as you go along.

In a small saucepan, melt the margarine with the brown sugar over medium heat. Boil for 1 minute. Pour over the biscuits.

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 35 minutes. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a plate. Do not cut! The bread just pulls apart.