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Political Physics: To Spank or Not to Spank
When I was growing up I got spankings (or beatings as the older black women in my family called them). I am not sure when I got my first spanking, but I know that spankings were regularly used as a form of punishment in our household. My mom used a belt and my very southern Nana Mary preferred a “switch” that she would pluck off a tree. Spankings were the main form of punishment until I was well into Junior High. Then I began to have things (e.g., television and a phone in my bedroom) and I began to go out with friends. So my mom moved away from spankings and started taking away my things and grounding me.
As someone who received spankings as the primary form of discipline throughout much of my life, the constant debate and new studies around whether or not to spank your child fascinates me.
According to a new study published in Pediatrics, “researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children’s short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.” The researchers found that children who had been spanked were 50% more likely to be aggressive. These 5 years olds “were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals.”
And Judith Graham, a researcher at the University of Maine argues that the effects of spanking last well into adulthood. “The long-term adult effects show up as higher frequencies of crime, spouse abuse, depression, and lower earnings.”
Okay, so according to these studies I should be aggressive, hot-tempered and just profoundly screwed up. Listen, though I can totally channel my inner bitch at times, I do not physically abuse my spouse, I have never committed a crime and I make a nice chunk of change. And my brother, who grew up in the same corporal punishment household as me, does not abuse animals and in actuality is one of the gentlest human beings I know.
Does that mean there is no connection between spanking and aggression? Of course not. But I do not believe the argument is as black and white (e.g., spank or no spank) as it is made out to be. And the long-term impacts, if any, are unclear.
In fact, a recently released 2010 study by Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe, a psychology professor at Calvin College, has found that there are indeed long-term impacts of spanking and those impacts are positive. Contrary to most theory on spanking, Gunnoe suggests that “while timeouts and other disciplinary methods work for some parents and is encouraged by some child psychologists, corporal punishment forms more well-adjusted people later in life.” According to the research, “children spanked up to the age of 6 were likely as teenagers to perform better at school and were more likely to carry out volunteer work and to want to go to college than their peers who had never been physically disciplined.”
Gunnoe recent study builds on work she did in 1997, where she studied population-based survey data from 1112 children aged 4 to 11 years in the National Survey of Families and Households. Controlled for several family and child factors including children’s baseline aggression. During that study Gunnoe assessed children five years after spankings had taken place to assess their behavior and she found that “for most children, claims that spanking teaches aggression seem unfounded. Other preventive effects and harmful effects of spanking may occur depending on the child and the family context.”
So, am I suggesting that all parents should take a belt to their children? No.
But I think spanking is a viable tool in a parent’s tool kit and using spankings in moderation or as a method of last resort is not going to screw your kid up. As Dr. Gunnoe notes, “The claims made for not spanking children fail to hold up. They are not consistent with the data,” [however], I think of spanking as a dangerous tool, but there are times when there is a job big enough for a dangerous tool. You just don’t use it for all your jobs.”
Like many things, I think it is a personal choice that a parent needs to make based on their child, family situation, external circumstances, etc.
My husband and I have decided to use an alternative to spanking as our primary method of discipline – talking, consistency and timeouts. So we are clear with our kids about what the expectations are and clear about what happens if those expectations are not met. Then we leverage timeouts when negative behavior manifests. But we have also (sparingly) used spankings as the discipline of last resort when there was no other option based on our assessment. As parents, we feel like we know best what works for our kids and what approach makes the most sense given the circumstances. For us, research be damned, it is our prerogative to make decisions concerning our children.
I must admit through that I often wonder if we had been in different financial circumstances (e.g., had more things to take away as punishment) or if my mother had been older when we were born, if the primary method of discipline would have been something other than spankings. I do not know. But do I resent my mom for spanking me and wished that she had gone a more pacifist route? No. I think overall she did the best job that she could raising us and used the tools that she had at her disposal. And hey, she didn’t do such a bad job.
Chris Rock always talks about how as a father his major goal was to keep his daughters off the stripper pole. Well no stripping for me (or my brother), so by his standards my mom was a successful parent.
I like to believe that spanking or not spanking, I can at least keep Zora (and Sekou) off the stripper pole.
featured image credit: HA! Designs – Artbyheather
I got occasional spankings with a wooden spoon. They were really just swats on the ass & the mere threat of them from my mother were usually enough to snap me back into perfect child behavior. Usually….But then, I have yet to turn out to be an aggressive monster/stripper!
Then by Chris Rock’s definition your parents should be very proud!
I think it’s all about consistency and the kids knowing the rules. The punishment is far less important than the child having a clear idea of the ramifications of there actions.
@CH, I think you’re right on target. No matter what consistency is key!
Not sure that I can really weigh in this discussion since I not a parent but do have to face issues of discipline when I am spending time with my niece and nephew (whom my mother referred to as hell and high water when the two of them got together). I also grew up with the black momma would use use the belt (which was named “the barbarian”) or make you go pick a switch (you were not allowed to bring back any dry branches she wanted the nice green ones that would provide plenty of spring action) when she felt the situation warranted . Personally, I think the long walk fetching the instrument of your punishment was really enough incentive to curb any bad behavior. I have always joked with my friends about discipline in our families and thought that I too would be down for good ol’ fashioned ass whuppins. However, I discovered when my niece and nephew came along that it just didn’t resonate with my spirit to spank even when they pushed me to the point where I thought I think you could really use a spanking to get the message across right now. Interestingly, this summer I discovered that my toddler niece and nephew could also make the distinction in our family about who dishes out particular types of punishment in our family. They were pretty off the wall one day (probably on a sugar high that my father had provided) and I sent them to time out. They were misbehaving and clearly enjoying their level of mischievousness in time out and when started to check them on their behavior they looked at me and said “What are you gonna do? You don’t spank!” I almost had to laugh at their insightful brilliance about the truth of the situation but at that moment I needed to reign their behavior and smart ass comment so I said “You’re right I don’t. You want me to call your momma?”
@Kim, my nana also had the rule about bringing back the “wrong” kind of switch. But she would swat with that one and still send you back for another one! And your right, some of the hardest moments were waiting for the spanking/beating to come.
And your right I too used to talk about how I would not “spare the rod” on my kids or I would see a child cutting a fool in the grocery store and I would think if that were me I would smack the kid upside the head…..but that was well before I actually had children whose discipline I was responsible for. I really think it is one of those things that you don’t know how you will deal with until you are knee deep in it. Then I think as a parent (or Auntie) you take stock of the particular child(ren), the issue at hand, your circumstances, etc. and you make the decision that best suits you and yours.
I wonder if these studies are considering that those kids who grew up aggressive and would lash out at others maybe were that way already and therefore got more spankings… it’s the chicken and the egg I think. The better kids didn’t need to be spanked – or at least not as often.
I wonder if these studies are considering that those kids who grew up aggressive and would lash out at others maybe were that way already and therefore got more spankings… it’s the chicken and the egg I think. The better kids didn’t need to be spanked – or at least not as often.
@Brian, I had not thought about but you could be right about the chicken versus the egg issue. I wonder if the studies controlled for other things in the child’s environment that could have lead to aggressive tendencies (e.g., violence in the household, physical abuse, foods that have been linked to aggression, etc.).
I was in the grocery store check out line once and there was this kid throwing a fit because his mom would not give him a candy bar. He kept screaming and shaking the cart. He was demanding the candy bar and his mom kept saying no. The mom finally looked at the child and in an elevated, firm voice said he could not have a candy bar. And the child, he could not have been more then 3 or 4 years old hauled off and smacked his mom right across the face. I (and pretty much everyone in the store) was stunned! And do you know what the mom did, she reached down, grabbed the candy bar and handed it to the little boy.
At the time I thought she should have beat him within an inch of his life. But now, as a parent, I am more concerned with (a) the fact that she gave him the candy bar which completely reinforced his behavior and (b) why he felt it was okay to pimp slap his mother. Where did that aggression come from?