Project Runway Season 11: Episode 11 Pocahontas Inspired Trash Bags For Everyone! [Runway Rundown]

I don’t know how any of you do it! Week after week you manufacture drama out of the most boring crop of half baked designers we have seen in the 11 seasons of this show. I’m talking of course to you: the Editors of Project Runway Season 11: Teams Edition. I can picture you all sitting around the lunch table talking shit about how the show has gone downhill and is headed for it’s grave, all while laughing your way to the bank and praying for another season to keep food on the table. The producers conversation at their lunch table must be the opposite. It must be one of fear, regret, and desperation if they want to keep this sinking ship afloat. I keep looking at Heidi’s nails to see if she has taken to biting them yet. That spot calling for new designers for next season that airs during the commercials is so poorly made it looks like it was made on home video with no make-up and a single lamp light. Not flattering girl, hope that doesn’t predict the budget to come for season 12. “And our guest judge… Don Rickles’ cousin: Tandy Rickles!” I wonder when this show will make another network jump, this time perhaps to the Golf Channel? It would be just as entertaining as it seems to be right now.

As always, spoilers ahead so beware bitches!

Now that we are down to the final 5 it was time for the show to ease the reigns on the whole “Team” mentality by letting each designer work as their own single entity. They were informed that they would have the help of sewing assistants, and would meet them later. After arriving at that big strange building that is known as the Hearst Corp. Building, and home to Marie Claire, they were kept in the lobby where they belong to sketch their ideas for Nina’s “Celebrity – Fashion Forward – Editorial Look” challenge. Nina’s rules were finite and simple:

01. No Red Carpet LooksFollowMyRules
02. No Gowns
03. No T-shirts and pants
04. The look needs to be editorial
05. The look needs to be Bold in the color
06. Bold in the shape
07. Bold in the print
08. Bold in the silhouette
09. Do not disappoint Nina!
10. Do not embarrass Nina!

Basically, as Ru Paul always says it best: “Don’t fuck it up!” The winning look will be worn in a Marie Claire editorial spread in the May 2013 issue on celebrity Jordana Brewster. After hitting MOOD (Boring) and heading back to the workroom (Boring) we got the delicious twist of the challenge… the last 5 people eliminated were assigned as their sewing help. After whipping out the “Wretched button bag!” as Michelle called it, Stanley nabbed Tu, Michelle chose Amanda, Daniel picked up Samantha, Layana smartly picked Kate, and Patricia got stuck with the dreaded Richard. All in all good matches, but poor poor Patricia. She survived the hell of working with him once but twice is just cruel.

I’ll skip over the middle of the episode as all you need to know is the following:

1. Don’t ever work for that controlling OCD bitch Stanley.

2. Patricia will spend more time whining and pining about her plight when assigned to a shitty seamstress, then actually coming up with a design.

3. Michelle is overly confident this week and obviously doesn’t listen to the rules. (Or just chooses to ignore them.)

And Finally…

4. Layana’s bland personality is why mommy drinks, it takes the pain away.

Let’s get right to the runway this week, Zac Posen was back to give a little smirk and smile while cutting the designers apart, and Jordana Brewster was there to make sure nobody put her in a swan dress or Pleather bodysuit. Here is what went down:

1. Michelle’s design for “Anthropologie” strutted down the big kid runway with it’s pea green pants, and slightly see through, side slashed sleeveless top. While I liked the look, she obviously missed the not T-shirt and pants requirement, but even if that was allowed, this shit was not amped up enough for an editorial spread. (Maybe if we are talking about the pages of Martha Stewart Living.) Bottom 2 for you girl. *Shakes head*

BIgBirdFembot2. Daniel design looked… how do I say this? Fuck it, it looked like a Big Bird/ Fembot/ Barbarella costume. While this is perfect for a drag routine, or one of my friends to wear to one of my many theme parties, this is not a look a young film star wants to be sporting in the pages of Marie Claire. While I agree with Nina, this is just outlandish enough to be a fun backup for a photo shoot, but realistically once the girl puts it on everyone would have a good laugh and it would be back on that hanger faster than you could say “eating disorder.”

3. Stanley had a strong showing this week with a look I could totally see Lauren Hutton rocking! He created a white culotte pant, with white and black print top and a fabulous brown leather jacket with white lining. Over-all, it nailed the look and ease of Jordana’s frame and character and I knew it was an instant win for him when it turned the corner. It really surprised me, as it didn’t look nearly as polished in the workroom.

LayanaSkaterGirl4. Patricia surprised everyone this week by creating the world’s first Pocahontas inspired, blue taffeta trash bag! It’s perfect for cleaning up messy spills, containing the parts of your dismembered loved ones after a scalping binge, and frumpily dancing around with the colors of the wind! Boo girl, major boo. She was in the bottom two this week with absolutely no surprise there.

5. Layana went for a warrior ice skater look this week by making a cool blue leather top made of trangles of material connected with chain links. She had a good thing going until she made a sad sheer grey tutu skirt to go with it. In the end I thought it looked cool at top but over-all unfinished and messy. This is the kind of outfit you see at bruning man and go: “Wow, cool, you made that! Um, can you pick up the pieces that are falling off all over the ground? We are trying to keep our camp clean of blowing trash.”

StanleyWinnerIn the end, Stanley walked away with the win, Patricia was, amazingly enough, SAFE even though girl deserved to go home this week, and we ended the episode in limbo with Heidi telling Michelle she is getting a second chance at not going home…

Next week: The designer will each head to a different European city to become inspired (good luck there) before creating a final look to compete for a space in the finale. My guess: They all converge back with a design and allow Michelle to make her own look for a chance at a slot too, but no European trip for her. Oh the drama… *sarcasm alert*

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