Project Runway Season 9: Episode 2 Review-Recap [Runway Rundown]
Our resident designer dishes on the designers of PROJECT RUNWAY
Spoiler Alert! If you have Project Runway DVR’d and you don’t want to know the outcome hit the back button now, OR check out my rundown of the first show HERE. Everyone else come sit by me and let me tell you a little story about when a pet store exploded all over some designers and how they crawled out alive… Well, all but one.
The episode begins with the gay boys missing their roommate Rafael, weepy and hugging away as I’m sure Josh Christensen likes it being straight and all (*wink wink). Here’s where I should also note, as my friend Jim mentioned, Joshua McKinley (Josh C’s love-in, I mean live-in roommate) has the most sculpted eyebrows I have ever seen! Those things look like he turned the airbrush on full blast and stenciled the damn things in with an oil based product! He may as well have gone to Home Depot and bought a can of black Krylon for god’s sake.
That aside, this week the designers hit that dreaded snag that every contestant faces in some regard: The Unconventional Materials Challenge. In years past designers have had to glue gun together candy wrappers, plants, dollar store wares and party favors. This time, the designers were given 300 dollars to spend in a pet store and were told to break the mold and choose things that do not resemble fabric. As with every unconventional challenge, what do the designers look for first? Fabric. Ugh how damn predictable, I actually screamed at the TV, “Put down the damn dog bed!” For designer so hungry for pliable materials I’m amazed they didn’t grab those adorable bunnies and skin the damn things for the cocktail dress of their dreams.
Of course once the contestants return to the workroom we hear the usual bitching and moaning about the materials, especially from those who chose things like dog pads and fabric beds to make their stuff from. Bert, having won last week’s challenge made the big mistake of hemming and hawing and using just fabric. Does he not know that resting on your laurels is the last thing the oldest member of the show should be doing? Tim pointed out that this could really recalibrate their thinking about you as a designer if you don’t even attempt to innovate. I know I lost some respect for him this week. Oh Bert, I think your sourpuss face is showing it’s true colors and it isn’t fun to watch. Nobody liked Kenley, but at least she pretended to try even when she refused to listen.
After the flurry of activity in the workroom, the glue guns were put down and the designers headed to the runway with their “creations.” The week’s guest judge was Stacey Bendet, don’t feel bad I had to Google her, too, and she obviously likes youthful funky stuff even if I did want to rip that bow off her face and tell her to sit up. The looks that seemed to fly best for the judges used materials that were applied to fabric and didn’t utilize “Pee Pads” s we heard time and time again in the critiques.
Bert bored us with his slutty nightgown made completely out of fabric (Shame on you!). Josh C. did the same with his hideously boring top made from an umbrella with dogs on it and his poor styling (Double shame two weeks in a row). Bryce made an outfit we see often from inexperienced designers on the show: The Ugly Napkin Dress. Heidi hated it and wanted to “pee on it.” He should have lost, but luckily his work didn’t conjure up the dreaded word: Boring.
Laura showed us an outfit that was just as stiff and bitchy looking as her personality, but alas she was safe. Anya had a beautiful outfit that again took some knowledge and know-how to pull off, she was safe as well. Danielle is one designer I keep watching end up just safe but I think she may be one of the strongest designers in the mix. Keep an eye out for her to rise to the top very soon.
As for our top contenders, Joshua M. turned out Sea Vixen Barbie, but since it was fairly chic he was in the top 3. Honestly I was surprised, with a mirror hanging from her hip for her next line of coke and what looked like ribbed condoms on her heels I though for sure he wouldn’t be in the mix to potentially win this time around. Also in the top 3 were Anthony with his gorgeous, albeit a bit short, bird seed gown, and Olivier and his Hamster Bedding Frumpfest.
I thought for sure Anthony would win since Olivier’s outfit looked like his model had crapped her skirt and the hose water bled it downward, but what do I know? (I won’t even mention the application of hamster bedding on the eyebrows Olivier… oh wait I just did!)
On the losing end of this battle, we had Fallene’s Fall inspired outfit that I didn’t think deserved as much harsh criticism as it garnered, Josh C’s boring ensemble, and Bryce with the pee pad napkin mess. (Did the judges completely miss the hideous dog food bag insult that Julie sent down the runway? Shame girl, just because you weave crap doesn’t mean it stops stinking.) Fallene survived the axe along with Bryce (amazingly enough), so this week Josh C. will be leaving his new friend Joshua’s embrace and heading home to wifey. He really did have some talent in his audition, but it goes to show that if you don’t let that voice of yours carry through your work and only worry about getting it done, you just might get sent home.
Tune in next week to see a bunch of models on stilts and hear designers complain about how they don’t design for the circus, they are more about high fashion. (Hey twenty-something-year-old, if you’re on this show you better figure out how to design for the circus, a drag queen, a midget or a monk… you gotta show us you are versatile! After 9 seasons I would think you would be well aware of that.) See you all next week on the runway!