Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 4 How many ways can Nina say NO?! [Runway Rundown]

It was bound to happen dear readers, eventually the time would come when the challenge was brought forth to slay the dragon with your bare hands… I’m talking of course about designing a daytime to nighttime look for none other than Nina Garcia herself. I hope the designers had a rosary in their kits cause today was the day to ask the big guy upstairs for a little help. From what we saw in the work room, God was busy.

As always I will warn you that the following contains spoilers, so if you have yet to watch it on your DVR please come back later to read this column and in the meantime check out my blogumn from last week to get you up to speed! Follow me here every Friday for my rundown of the hits and misses that our poor eyes must endure.

Now where were we? Oh! Two weeks ago the episode opened with the gays missing their gal pal Rafael, and this week it was the girls’ turn to mourn the loss of their good friend Fallene… oh wait, that’s not right, What they actually did was sigh briefly and said a quick good riddance. Poor “quirky” Fallene was wiped off that chalkboard of their memory so fast that Kimberly’s weave almost flew off.

Upon hearing that the challenge was for judge Nina Garcia, I immediately thought: “You all are F*cked!” She was specific in her demands, so take notes future Runway contestants of the world! She hates anything voluminous, loud colors or patterns, pleats, anything boring or too safe, and she doesn’t want to see a runway of all gray. Anything left Nina? But of course there were tons of options to choose from, but these designers had their work cut out for them!

Just to recap contestants before you get to work, what does Nina think the quickest way to look cheap is?

Yup, and she is right people…

Side Note: What the hell is that sweat shop worker statue outside of Parsons?! Well apparently it is a statue of a Jewish tailor created by Judith Weller in 1984. “The More You Know!” *shooting star

In the workroom almost every design gets shut down with Nina by a simple “NO” and those that weren’t told no were asked about a plan B. Things did not look good this week with everyone barely able to finish their garments on time and for the first time in desperation on a non-craft challenge this season we saw somebody pull out the glue… *ahem Julie

Now i’m not one to gossip, but lets talk about the kids who got an A for effort this week. I thought Olivier was a shoe in this week for the win again since the moment his garment came around the corner all I saw was Nina in it! Alas, he resorted to the safe grey and white palette so he was simply just safe for the week. Our top three surprised me a little this week. We had Viktor’s basic black dress with funky blocked sleeves that I loved and hated all at once. (Usually that means it is horrendous or it is so fashion forward that it is good.) Anya’s Pants and top combo that were impeccably sewn and dyed by someone who just learned how to sew 4 months ago… *Broken record I know, and per usual the judges were amazed! And to round out the top 3 our winner of the night which was Kimberly. Yes, you read that right, Kimberly. I seriously have some questions about her taste level in this competition as her fabric choices border on, “I shot the 80′s golden brocade couch and the couch won.” When Nina had seen her earlier attempt she was teetering on the brink of disaster, but she salvaged it enough to make it look presentable. This week I must say I think the judges may have been huffing a bit of the glue Julie was oozing on her garment, but when I saw the final product on Nina I think I finally got what she had seen in it all along. The strange asymmetrical neckline covered Nina up the way she liked and brought a little bit of detail through the closure and the soft texture of the golden fabric. All in all it would be tough to make Nina look like a mess, that is of course you were almost any of the other contestants this week.

Bert’s outfit was safe black and boring. Joshua turned in something that was so not Nina I thought for sure he would be in the bottom with his orange “Fembot” monstrosity. Anthony’s was nice, but Becky’s outfit used the same fabric better. I can see why they were both safe. I think Laura was uber lucky to have immunity this week since she sent a hooker Christmas ornament down the runway that Nina would have torn her apart for.

As for our bottom dwellers this week, we have Danielle who didn’t listen to Nina’s commentary at all making the garment even softer and more blah when Nina wanted a stronger divide in the soft and hard fabrics. Cecilia was in “Dynasty” land early on but instead threw up a garment that looked like a grecian, half halter, casino waitress dress out of gray and gold fabrics. She was informed by the editor of Marie Claire that her dress looked like something “Nina would wear to work to be fired in.” I thought for sure she was going home. Alas, Julie rounded out our bottom 3 for the 3rd week in a row and her confusing, poorly constructed coat dress just confused the judges. It was cut badly, sewn badly, had terrible fabric choices etc. according to the judges, so unfortunately the girl I thought had so much promise from her audition collection, is now on a plane home.

Next week they appear to be competing in some sort of running relay to win an advantage and someone gets hurt. (It’s always the fragile gay ones, sorry Olivier.) Could this be the dreaded sportswear challenge that has sent so many good designers packing in the past? We will have to wait and see. On another side note, if the people from HP are reading, I would love to get my hands on one of those handy dandy little tablet notebooks that the designers are working with. It seems like a tough call to make the competitors use them if they have never experienced the technology, but it is exciting to me to see more digital tools being implemented into a designer’s toolbox in the early stages of concept and development. Send me one to try out, I’ll be your best friend *wink wink

Oh who am I kidding, even the people at Axe Body Spray wouldn’t sponsor my snarky commentary. Until next time readers!

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