Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 7 Mom And Dad Stop Fighting, There Is Fugly To Be Made! [Runway Rundown]

Avante-garde damn last week was exhausting! I almost couldn’t get out of bed to meet all the designers again in the workroom, the pain was just too fresh. Alas and alack I pulled up my bootstraps and managed to slug my way over to Parsons to get down to business, and boy did I regret stepping through those doors this week. I half expected a scantily clad woman in heels to walk by every half hour with a new sign telling me what “Round” it was. Get ready kids, one team is duking it out!

Now per usual I am gonna give away some gossip and spoil your fun if you haven’t seen this week’s episode. So if you have yet to catch up on your DVR, turn right back around and stick to reading the last few weeks worth of recaps. Come back and read this when you are ready, it was a juicy week to watch the carnage on the runway!

So where was I? Oh, this week’s challenge had the designers working in two teams of 5:

Team “Nuts and Bolts” consisting of Joshua (who according to him was not the team leader even though his opinions were heard round the world) Becky (Joshua’s punching bag week after week) Kimberly (Possibly the only one without a beef) Laura (Who is most likely to pit others against each other and pretend to be innocent after the fire rages) and Bert (oh joy, picked last of course!)

AND

Team “Chaos” consisting of Anthony (Nervous energy but good designs) Bryce (oh god, somebody is gonna have some baggy trousers most likely) Anya (Still don’t buy her “I can’t sew” routine, but can we talk about how I love every pair of earrings I have seen that girl wear?!) Olivier (Who I am convinced is either a robot or a diabetic. Is anyone home? Are you OK, honey? “Drink your juice, Shelby!”) and Viktor (Smart ass, but a good designer AND a smart ass)

Every year we hit a certain point where the show must bow to the sponsors and feature the technology they’re getting paid to promote, so this was the week of the HP and Intel Challenge. The designers were asked create five looks for the runway, utilizing the HP software to design 3 textiles and edit together video they shot to be used as a backdrop in their produced Runway Show. This was a lot to do in 2 days, so the sponsors pitched in for a cheerleader to be thrown their way in the form of everyone’s favorite Fraggle: Betsey Johnson! For those of you that do not know of Betsey Johnson, she is a designer who likes things frilly, fun and young, and she just might be that drunk girl we all know that tosses back a bottle of Jack and decides to cut her own hair alone at home.

After the teams are kicked into gear we hear Joshua’s brilliant idea of how to push forward their design: “Five looks that resemble the Village People.” *crickets* Seriously?! Yeah you could hear a pin drop in my house when the boy uttered that idea, that is of course until I erupted into screams of laughter. Oh thanks Joshua, I can always count on you for a good laugh! I will say this for him, he may not be the brightest bulb and he is kind of a jerk but the boy can run in heels!

The obligatory fight erupts when Joshua begins to displace his anger over his mother’s death on Bert, while turning the workroom into his own private soap opera. I admit, Bert is no team player, but Joshua’s bitchy boots are on this morning and he is taking no prisoners. Becky could see he was looking for a fight and in a smart move she stayed low and under the radar. If I had to work with that bitchy queen, you know half our budget would be spent duct taping the boy’s mouth shut! This guy is cocky and it seems to get worse each week, I guess I wouldn’t be as annoyed if he actually had something to back it up.

The other team seems to be gliding along at a nice pace where the collaboration is seamless and everyone rides gorgeous unicorns made of gold! *That sentence is of course how Becky sees their team before she turns back to her group and only sees death slowly approaching with his scythe by Dolce & Gabbana! I do love Team “Chaos” and their thought process. They do very well with the divide and conquer method all while maintaining a good cohesive look. I loved Anya’s idea about working the video into a mirror image to dampen the focus of it and add to the busy look they were going for. She is one smart girl with a great eye, watch out kids she may just take the prize!

When Tim comes into the workroom to check in, it quickly becomes apparent which team needs the help. Team “Nuts and Bolts” mystifies him at every turn and he eventually instructs them to “Let your ego go.” It is just as apparent to him as it is to the audience that none of these kids are speaking the same language, let alone working towards the same goal. In a PR first he asks them to gather round and “join hands.” It’s almost like watching an episode of INTERVENTION only Tim is playing the crying mother reading from her crumpled up note of love and devotion. The only thing missing was a bible…

After the pow wow, we see Team “Nuts and Bolts” forge ahead in a misguided sense of calm and determination. While they should have been editing, or trying to turn back time and redesign their hideous fabrics, they instead spent time reinforcing each others terrible decisions. This was a definite “monkey house moment” as Tim would call it… when you’ve been in the monkey house so long that it no longer smells and everything seems okay. Becky, put down the ugly fabric and just finish the boring skirt. Joshua, just do less… seriously less. Just step back and see how you’ve designed a giant Cog clown outfit, and maybe rethink things a little. At least Joshua apologized to Bert and everyone seems to be pretending it never happened. (Is it mean for me to mention how the hideous shirt and plastic crucifix that Joshua was wearing looked like it fit right in with their ugly mess of a collection? Team leader possibly, just sayin’)

We got to hear some more about where Joshua’s rage is really coming from, and almost see him crack the veneer and show us what is really going on down there before *BAM!* it was time to hit the runway! Let’s talk for a moment about the obvious winning team, Team “Chaos.” Over all their look was sublime. I loved the frantic energy of the city they were able to capture through such simple strokes in their patterns. The inkblot was a smart turn of events that could have very well gone the way of a cow print, but they used it smartly and with obvious flair to showcase the striking contrast they had set up so well in their palette. With Anya and Olivier on their side was there any doubt this team would win?

Anya won for her adorable cocktail dress that had an amazing shoulder line and back. This was a good choice for the win, but my other favorite was Viktor’s simple-yet-stunning evening gown with a bold mid-section and sheer panels beautifully tailored into the flowing black drape (featured image). Olivier’s Jacket was Nina’s favorite of the night with a deep black leather lapel on a medium grey with a deep neckline that made it risque, but classy. He spent a little too long on the top and his pants were a bit too fussy for me to give him the win, so I am glad they didn’t. Anthony turned in a smart work wear number with a cute neckerchief in the bold orange tone they chose together as their accent color. Unfortunately for Bryce, he pushed the orange too far and gave us a strange orange trash bag top with Old Navy shorts that just made his model look like any girl at the beach. The girl that would wear his look is sitting in Santa Monica somewhere right now and her ears are burning. Unfortunately what should be burning is this boring outfit.

Our losing “Nuts and Bolts” team members knew what was coming, especially when Michael Kors said their collection resembled a “Hooker convention on their way home after a long night.” I couldn’t agree more! Michael also called Kimberly out for saving herself by not using their hideous prints and sticking to chosen fabrics. She may have been safe, but her outfit frankly resembled a whore in a diaper. Bert gave us the same old dress, just longer at the mid calf level in the weird cog print which was the least of the three evil designs they had printed. Hey Bert everybody will be clamoring for your design, especially those that want to look like an unemployed yoga teacher! Laura skipped out on the print aspect for the most part relegating the print to her ugly 80′s belt. Her jumpsuit was one of my least favorite pieces, but she was lucky her teammates were worse.

Joshua’s look with it’s pulled apart Cog coat and blousy napkin of a top just read unfinished, coming off like it was ready to fall apart. This kid needs a serious edit button, Nina was right to wonder about his over-all taste level. I was glad that finally the judges are picking up on his harsh trend of intimidation as Michael referred to him as a “bully.”

Unfortunately the kids better watch their backs since he will be back for more next week as Becky got the boot.

Becky heard the dreaded phrase this week from Nina “There was no design!” which means the other obvious “Boring.” Boring and safe on PR = Going home. I am sorry to see Becky go, but I know she is not one of the strongest designers here. She would have been gone in a challenge or two, but it would have been fun to see Joshua get kicked off this week after his hissy-fit tantrums. Maybe next week he will channel his anger into something constructive, like making an outfit that doesn’t look like it belongs flying down the ice on Tonya Harding? Only time will tell… What do you guys think?

Next week, we get to see the designers make a gown for women, the catch is that their consultations for their clients will only happen through the husbands of these women. Uh oh, here we go… Are we seeing the dreaded “Real Women” challenge, or is this only designed for them but created to be worn by the designers’ models. We shall see! If it is what I think it is, I can’t wait to see Olivier try to wrap his mind around a size 16 silhouette! See ya next week folks!

PS: For any of you out there without TV or without cable you can also catch full episodes online by going to www.mylifetime.com!