Project Runway: Season 9 – Episode 9 Menswear, Like Simple Math, Is Hard You Guys! [Runway Rundown]

What can take a perfectly good group of designers on Project Runway and turn them into the equivalent of a sewing class full of lumberjacks? Menswear… The most dreaded of all challenges every year seems to be this one, and this week it proved to be one hell of a tall order to ask of our designers. Get out your happy pills and avoid looking directly into the busting or bulging seams cause tonight’s episode was a doozy!

Time out kids, there are spoilers ahead so if you have yet to see this week’s episode please turn right around and catch up on my last few articles!

Now this week, courtesy of Garnier and Rolling Stone Magazine, the designers were tasked with breaking into two teams of four to design a look for the unsigned band “The Sheepdogs.” Each designer will create one outfit for a band member with the winning look getting featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine along with a spread in Marie Claire. Also, the loser will be dashed against the rocks like an unwanted baby along with their hideous look. Ok they won’t be dashed against the rocks, but at the very least they will be sent packing.

The teams were divided at random with Olivier, Viktor, Kimberly and Joshua on one team, and Bert, Laura, Anya and Anthony on another team. Yup, poor Laura and Anthony get to work with old curmudgeon-face once again, this should go well. After the initial shock of doing menswear wares off, we still hear them griping and bitching about the challenge at hand.

**Sidebar/ Bitchslap to our contestants: Kids, if you go on Project Runway you know inevitably you will have to do two things… 1.Make an outfit out of garbage or something similar and 2.Make a garment for a man. As half the contestants are themselves men, I’m always astonished that they still fumble and whine every time they are asked to make a pair of pants! You can tailor the hell out of a pair of pants for women who have almost 2,000 more curves to their body, but making a pair of basic straight leg trousers for men is like asking you to eat your own face. You guys are killing me here…

The band “The Sheepdogs” were actually pretty good, and the guys seemed nice and approachable. Their music sounded very reminiscent of the 60′s and 70′s rock we all know and love and I was genuinely excited to see where the designers went with the styling. The band members told them their favorite colors and some basic ideas of staying somewhat true to that classic rock era look, and where did the designers go with it? They decided to put on a show! Both teams gave us what can only be described as your local Goodwill store presenting the musical “Hair!”

(Oh yay, Adam Lambert showed up with his guy-liner to throw his 2 cents in about looking original *gag*)

Viktor won this week’s challenge with a great (pleather) braided fringe jacket. His outfit fit well, especially the jeans he made from real denim, and a nice vintage looking shirt with a subtle floral pattern tipped him over the edge for the win. This guy has his eye on the prize and seems to have a flair for showing us his talent but also sticking to the challenge at hand very well.

In the top grouping we also had Joshua, ugh, who had an interesting pair of white pants but over-all his outfit just had too much going on. This is a trend and possibly his downfall. Laura also had a realistic looking outfit that treaded the fine line of “costume” without going there too much. (I must ask though Laura, was that tank top borrowed from the set of the TV show “Dexter?”) Bert pulled in a near miss with his overly dyed ensemble. Up close I liked the pants but the top had such a gross grey purple tone he kind of made the lead singer look homeless. (Not to mention the pigtails that made him look like Pippi Longstocking and homeless!)

Our bottom dwellers this week very well could have been the whole cast, but instead they picked Anya, Kimberly, Anthony and Olivier. Anya skated by on the skin of her teeth with an outfit that was described as “Pocahontas” across the board. Her ugly tunic showed to Michael Kors that, “This week we got to see that she has only four months of sewing experience.” Her inexperience may have showed through a bit, but over-all she seemed lost from the start not even being able to pick a fabric. I think she was more flustered than anything. Tune in next week when she apparently loses her cash at mood and has to make her garment fully out of muslin.

Anthony created a strange look that to Micheal Kors resembled a “Golden Girl’s rocker moment.” To me it just looked like an outfit some girl in the 70′s would wear if she was gonna drink the Kool-Aid some cult leader handed her. Throw in some big glasses and some pooka shells and she is ready to hit the town… er… ground.

Kimberly made her poor band member look like an old lady that took a job at a laundromat mopping floors in 1973. Really, did she not even take a minute to rethink the collar. (Dear god blind me and let me walk the Earth alone!) Her orange and brown autumn ensemble almost cost her dearly but alas it was Olivier who got the chopping block. Olivier’s outfit got the dreaded “boring” remark from Heidi and per usual that is a bad sign. He had many fit issues, the colors were wrong, he didn’t listen to his client, he bitched about the size of the client the whole way through the challenge, he had time management issues that led to the sleeves being unfinished, and in the end… we say goodbye to him. The one men’s designer we had up there couldn’t get his act together, but frankly in the last few weeks I could see he didn’t want to be there. Good riddance Olivier, learn to collaborate a little!

Is anyone excited about the promos for Project Accessory and Project Runway All Stars they have been airing?