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Redheaded Stepchild: Same Gendered Ceremony Cookbook


A blogumn by Redheaded Stepchild

Recipe for a for a Queer Wedding (or Quedding, if you prefer):

1 part fabulous location
2 parts uninhibited liquor consumption
1 part food with which to mitigate effects of uninhibited liquor consumption
3 parts friends and family with which to consume said liquor
5 parts smart, funny, gorgeous girlfriend
2 parts cake!

Not on the Menu:
White dresses
Bridal parties
Any “giving away” by a parental unit
A DJ who plays The Village People (though BPD would like you all to know that we will be including the Electric Slide)
Random bouquets of flowers

We’ve had many conversations about what kind of event we’d like to have: something in between the traditional wedding ceremony (complete with veils, fathers and anonymous halls), and toasting each other with beer at the local bar.

Cause here’s the thing: I don’t like going to weddings.  I’m of the opinion that individual ceremonies are important to a very small group of people who know the folks getting hitched and everyone else is in it for the booze.

I’m not terribly interested in hearing your favorite priest’s musings on gender, you know? Or participating in breathing exercises with your college acting teacher/officiant.  I don’t want to sit in an uncomfortable chair for 40 minutes and then eat crappy hors d’oeuvres while making stilted conversation with strangers, counting down until I can run home and watch the latest episode of Heroes.

I mean, really.  What’s in it for ME, people?!

Weddings are expensive, not just for the folks marrying, but for the folks who travel across state lines, buy presents and put on new shoes and fancy dresses.  I’ve forked out thousands of dollars going to weddings since I graduated from college and dammit, all these celebrations of love are keeping my butt broke.

That’s not the experience that I want to give the folks attending my own Day O’ Love.  Some boredom is probably unavoidable, but the more group fun we can inject into the event, the better it will be for everyone. Our wedding will be about us, yes, but it will also be about the beautiful people we share our lives with — the family who support us even when it’s ideologically difficult, the friends who make us laugh and think.  We don’t exist in a void.  Our declaration of love will be made in front of a community of people who we adore, and who adore us.  They make our lives better; they’ll make our ceremony better, too.

So.  Low on ceremony, high on party.  We envision a small exchange of vows/love pronouncements and then a night of food, drink, and celebration with friends.

Because if I have to hear YMCA at one more wedding, I’m going to kill someone.