Redheaded Stepchild: Sometimes Wedding Sites Are Scary
A blogumn by Redheaded Stepchild
As previously noted, I am now a watcher of wedding shows. When Law & Order and Doctor Who aren’t on in our home, the TV is tuned to any one of the many shows on WEtv that is targeted to women who love weddings. Amazing Wedding Cakes, Bridezillas, My Fair Wedding – it’s all straight-up wedding porn designed to make you feel dirty and love it.
Five years ago I would have run screaming with one glance at these shows, but now I find it interesting to see how other people navigate incorporating their own personalities into what is often a fairly standard-issue ceremony. Or rather … I like seeing IF people can incorporate themselves, and if so, how.
And I’m trying to figure that out my own self. Apparently going to eight weddings in the last seven years wasn’t enough, so I’ve started trolling the web and going to sites like The Knot, which oh so desperately wants to be my one-stop vendor center, commiseration pool, and vanity mirror. It’s the online wedding Mall of America. I can figure out a budget, list wedding guests, find dresses, and get deals on photographers. I signed in to look at cakes today and it gave me a To Do list, ok? And do you know how many things were on my To Do list? ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-FOUR.
I mean…on the one hand, thanks The Knot! As a total novice at this (unlike that manager on Say Yes to the Dress who seems to get married and engaged for a living), I appreciate your efforts to make planning a wedding easier. On the other hand: Aaaaahhhh, get away from me, you scary freak! Stop sending me postcards from businesses you want me to hire! It’s creepy. And you’re stressing me out.
The smaller websites and blogs seem far less scary at the moment.
We’re still brainstorming what kind of party we want to have – we’re not interviewing caterers, for criminy’s sake. Far less stressful is Wedding Bee, which has a very helpful Real Budgets section. Doesn’t it sound useful to look through the budgets of folks who’ve actually gotten hitched? It is. And sometimes the budgets will be bundled by price, so that you can peruse three budgets of 5K, 10K, 25K, whatever you’ve got.
Also: The Knot is overwhelmingly heterosexual. I need some examples of folks like me, too, and I’ve found myself drawn to Off-Beat Bride to get my alternative wedding fix. At first I was all, “oh, it’s just people with tattoos and died hair” and while that is true of some posts, it’s also true that there are same-gendered couples, couples with one trans partner, and just in general folks (mostly young, and it’s true, mostly white) trying to make this big ol’ tradition meet their idea of happiness and union in their own way.
I appreciate that.
Any of you Fierce and Nerdy folks have some good wedding sites to share?
I loved chatting on the Knot community boards. It was addicting and I actually made a few friends and found a few great vendors by networking with other brides. Other than that, I steered clear of it. The check list is just scary. Did you see that they have a website devoted to came-sex weddings? http://www.gayweddingsbytheknot.com/
I loved chatting on the Knot community boards. It was addicting and I actually made a few friends and found a few great vendors by networking with other brides. Other than that, I steered clear of it. The check list is just scary. Did you see that they have a website devoted to came-sex weddings? http://www.gayweddingsbytheknot.com/
I didn't see that! Thanks, Janice.
I didn't see that! Thanks, Janice.
Hey RS, I was SO overwhelmed by The Knot. But for a disorganized person like me, that list actually ended up being a godsend. Set a date and a venue and then just go down the list. Also, you can get rid of the stuff that doesn't apply to you.
We got lucky and had a friend that worked in PR. She hooked us up with an amazing caterer, helped us with flowers and the like, and basically gave us a bunch of good insidery advice and ideas.
I'd also say not to be afraid to make your wedding your own. We culled a bunch of ideas from all over: picked a friend as our officiant, had a group first dance, a steel drum band as our ceremony musicians — I had a all-panties bridal shower and CH had a cigars and wine bachelor party. Basically, we did whatever we wanted and whatever made us comfortable. You don't have to be traditional or even particularly offbeat if you don't want to. At the end of the day as long as you do it your way, you'll be happy.
Hey RS, I was SO overwhelmed by The Knot. But for a disorganized person like me, that list actually ended up being a godsend. Set a date and a venue and then just go down the list. Also, you can get rid of the stuff that doesn't apply to you.
We got lucky and had a friend that worked in PR. She hooked us up with an amazing caterer, helped us with flowers and the like, and basically gave us a bunch of good insidery advice and ideas.
I'd also say not to be afraid to make your wedding your own. We culled a bunch of ideas from all over: picked a friend as our officiant, had a group first dance, a steel drum band as our ceremony musicians — I had a all-panties bridal shower and CH had a cigars and wine bachelor party. Basically, we did whatever we wanted and whatever made us comfortable. You don't have to be traditional or even particularly offbeat if you don't want to. At the end of the day as long as you do it your way, you'll be happy.
I do not have any new suggestions, but just wanted to give a "thumbs up" for the Knot. I found my wedding dress on the Knot plus they had a listing of places that sold it. I was able to find the actual dress and buy it for several hundred dollars less. Great site!
Wedding TV is the best. I used to live for Sunday nights when BRIDEZILLAS was on. My favorite was the one where the woman's daughter was so bitchy that the groom disappeared on the day of the wedding, only to return a few days later and elope with the bride in Vegas. Classy. And some people don't want "teh gayz" to get married.
I do not have any new suggestions, but just wanted to give a "thumbs up" for the Knot. I found my wedding dress on the Knot plus they had a listing of places that sold it. I was able to find the actual dress and buy it for several hundred dollars less. Great site!
Wedding TV is the best. I used to live for Sunday nights when BRIDEZILLAS was on. My favorite was the one where the woman's daughter was so bitchy that the groom disappeared on the day of the wedding, only to return a few days later and elope with the bride in Vegas. Classy. And some people don't want "teh gayz" to get married.