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Redneck Is The New Black! [A Tall Glass of Shame]

Somewhere in the past few years television has become jam packed with reality shows featuring the richest of the rich. These shows give us a glimpse into the “hard” lives of the upper class and paint an exhausting picture of shopping in excess, living in excess, and bitching in excess. With the economy what it is, it seems the last thing people in America would be able to relate to are a bunch of rich white folks bumbling around in expensive vehicles and overpriced clothes. I know I am sick of the many layers of “housewives” (which in itself is a term I think very loosely describes the women on that show) and have wondered when we’d get to see more television about the common man in this country. When will the everyman get his crack at the good life? Well wait no longer brave television trash watchers, your dream to see the lives of white trash in new shoes has finally arrived on CMT with two new shows: Bayou Billionaires and My Big Redneck Vacation!

In Bayou Billionaires we meet the Dowdens of Shreveport, Louisiana. They are a hardworking family of modest means who recently discovered that their home sits on the fourth largest deposit of natural gas in the United States, and the “mailbox money” checks keep rolling in to prove it! If you have ever wondered what a real life Beverly Hillbillies would look like, the Dowdens are as close as you could get. With all their children and a very horny grandfather living with them on their compound, you can see they like to keep their family close. All around them are modest homes and belongings, sprinkled with the occasional pool, jet-ski and other nouveaux riche items. They are simple folks that happened into some big dumb luck and even though the redneck aspect is hilarious to watch and laugh at, they seem to be some genuinely nice people.

Here is the trailer for Bayou Billionaires on CMT:

The children in this show are what I found fascinating. Parents Kitty and Gerald, have one daughter Chantel who seems like a brain dead shopaholic with her burnout crusty boyfriend Albert hanging on, they also have son Gerald Jr. who seems to try too hard to maintain his position as top dog in the family, and their other son Thomas who my gaydar picks as a potential friend of Dorothy. Thomas enjoys wrestling his man-ish wife Mallory to solve arguments, when he is not busy being momma’s boy or trying so hard to show up his older brother in some ridiculous show of machismo. Me thinks the lady doth protest too much. All in all the show is strangely enjoyable to watch as we see this smiley family spend away their “mailbox money” and experience their newfound good life. You can’t help but feel these people are way more deserving of their fortune than any of those orange skinned OC housewives.

Paired with the show Bayou Billionaires I also discovered CMT’s newest offering My Big Redneck Vacation. CMT has taken 4 families out of rural Louisiana and put them up for an all expenses paid vacation in a 4 million dollar home in the Hamptons. This show is bizarre and if it didn’t have little asides from Tom Arnold inserted every five seconds it might be much more watchable. Regardless, check out the trailer for My Big Redneck Vacation on CMT:

In the most recent episode one couple has decided to throw their wedding at the house and has hired a gay wedding planner couple to help them, homophobia and hilarity ensue. Not sure I can sit through many more episodes of this show but who knows, maybe for the cameras everyone learns to be one big happy family in the end. If the trailers alone for these two new redneck fun-fests aren’t enough for you I have found you the best little video I could nab off the interwebs. I give you the Redneck Fail Compilation… you must see some of these to believe them! Happy trashy TV watching everybody!

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