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Sad Etsy Pets, the Oh-So-Funny Kirsten Dunst, and Cookie Monster All Love to Procrastinate on This!

Friendly reminder, we have SOOOOO much coming up for you next week for BOOK WEEK 1. It’s going to be so effing awesome. So definitely come back for that. Meanwhile here’s an extra-huge batch of procrastination to get you through the weekend.

1. “Comic-Con Once Again Marred By Increasingly Popular Bully-Con” is the best story to come out of Comic-Con this week, even if it isn’t true. What do you mean I’m just saying that b/c I’m insanely jealous I didn’t get go this year??? …. Okay, maybe you’re right. Sniff! [The Onion]

This "Sad Etsy Pets" post by Slack Story does make me want to write strongly-worded emails to a few Etsy shop/pet owners. Mostly it's cats and dogs being abused by unnecessary costuming, but along with the guinea pig feature here, there's also a really sad-looking horse. Click on the pic for the entire sad parade.

2. This is another joke post, but seriously I wouldn’t be surprised if Starbucks did decide to ban all screenwriters from their stores. [Hollywood & Swine] 

3. I’d need to a Brit to translate what most of the jokes in the London 2012: Etiquette Guide for the Olympic Visotors mean — or for that matter, why they are funny. But the bit about why British people say sorry so much was funny — at least I think it was meant to be a joke. Those Brits are so dry, it’s hard to tell sometimes. [the guardian]

4. If you like philosophy and you can even slightly bear Kim Kardashian, then the Kim  Kierkegaardashian Twitter feed will soon become your everything. My favorite so far: “Our entire earthly existence is a kind of ill health. So far today I haven’t had any sugar. I hope this helps.” [KimKierkegaardashian]

5. FINALLY, all those Chuck Lorre vanity cards, which appear at the end of shows like BIG BANG THEORY and TWO AND A HALF MEN, are in one place. No more having to pause, squint, and read. [Chuck Lorre Productions]

6. COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER? — Yes!!! Please, please do yourself a favor and read this. [McSweeney's]

7. Thanks to Friend of FaN, Kim McLeod, for sending round this link to “Nail Polish’scope: Manicure Colors for Your Sign.” I’m a Capricorn, who almost always chooses a variation on blue, and my Polish’scope said… BLUE! Look up yours and let us know if it appeals in the comments. [Elle.com]

8. So if you were thinking, “Oh, my gosh, I wanted to like BRIDESMAIDS, but it just had too many good jokes, the comedic situations were too clever, and there were way, way to many people of color in the main cast” then you’ll definitely want to check out BACHELORETTE. And bonus, Kirsten Dunst. Because really who’s funnier than Kirsten Dunst. I mean, who other than “everyone you’ve ever met?”