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SICK (in the Bed)! – Ask Dr. Miro [What You Didn’t Learn in Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

Why does my husband want to get down and dirty when either of us have a fever? There I am in bed feeling awful and SO not sexy and he tries to start something. Who wants  to have sex when they are sick?

Sincerely,

Let Me Be Sick

Dear LMBS,

Who wants to have sex when they are sick? Well, a lot of men do. This question reminds me of the Larry David quote, “The closest I ever came to death, was when I masturbated with a 104 degree temperature.” For a lot of men, lying around in bed, regardless of what else is going on, will inspire sexual desire. You name it: mourning a loss of a loved one, the flu, wisdom tooth removal and more. There they are with nothing else to do but feel their feelings and yes, play with their Ding-a-Ling. In a sense, your husband may be attempting to “do unto others as he would have done unto himself”. Unfortunately, it is not exactly what the majority of women want as they are lying in bed trying to recover.

Another part of this could be the trigger of seeing you lying all vulnerable, warm and snuggly. The part of his brain that connects having sex with his wife and the conditions in which this occurs will go all haywire, creating a big Hubby-Chubby. It goes the other way, too. Say you are giving him special, loving attention as a result of his feeling under the weather.  This may get translated into your man becoming massively turned on by all the tenderness being received. You see, what you are experiencing is YOUR reality of snotty tissues, endless coughing and pounding headaches (that will not be cured by orgasm). He is experiencing HIS reality, which involves the stirrings of hot action with the woman he loves.

Regardless, it is up to you to communicate what is and is not appropriate for the sick bed, as well as everywhere else in your life. Now that we are heavily into flu season, make sure your man knows how much he means to you, that you are flattered he is so turned on by you but that this behavior will not stand regardless of what his nursing fantasies involve. When you are feeling better, then you can get some sexual healing and play whatever Doctor-Patient scenarios you desire.

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

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featured image credit: friedmanlynn