Single White Nerd: Wherefore Art Thou Creepy?
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a blogumn my Michael Kass
- Image Credit: kirstyfull
A brief one today, friends. More in the nature of a question than a meditation on single nerdom. And here it is:
You know the guy in the bar who hits on a woman, gets the brush off, and then hangs around? The one who stands behind his prey and pretends to check the messages on his cell phone. Or affects an intense interest in a piece of art on the wall nearby. The one who keeps approaching over and over despite an obvious lack of interest and the intervention of the would-be-prey’s friends.
That guy. You know him?
Why does he do that? Does he think that it’s charming? That maybe she didn’t mean it when she said “I’m going to stand over there now?” That if he hangs around long enough, she’ll get frustrated and haul him off to the bathroom to have sex?
I had a run-in with one of these guys over the weekend. Granted, it gave me the opportunity to be a hero and swoop in to rescue the damsel in distress. I got a kiss on the cheek for my efforts. And that was neat. But still: creepy.
So, I turn the question to you: What’s up with the creepy guy who does that?
Let me know so I can be smarter. And so I can avoid turning into him.
I swept in to save a damsel-in-distress from a too-interested creepy guy once. But instead of a kiss on the check from a pretty girl, I got two blows to the head from said creepy guy who happened to be a marine on shoreleave.
I try not to give the creepy guys too much heed, these days.
I swept in to save a damsel-in-distress from a too-interested creepy guy once. But instead of a kiss on the check from a pretty girl, I got two blows to the head from said creepy guy who happened to be a marine on shoreleave.
I try not to give the creepy guys too much heed, these days.
That's fine for you, but us ladies cannot stop giving those creepy guys heed cause they won't leave us alone.
Why do guys do that? Why do they refuse to take no for an answer? What gets me is when I try to politely turn down the creepy guy, he refuses to back off and eventually pushes me to get defensive and aggresive which results in my being called a bitch. No I'm not a bitch, your just a spoiled brat who's Mother should have said no more often so you know what NO means the first 5 fives I say it.
That's fine for you, but us ladies cannot stop giving those creepy guys heed cause they won't leave us alone.
Why do guys do that? Why do they refuse to take no for an answer? What gets me is when I try to politely turn down the creepy guy, he refuses to back off and eventually pushes me to get defensive and aggresive which results in my being called a bitch. No I'm not a bitch, your just a spoiled brat who's Mother should have said no more often so you know what NO means the first 5 fives I say it.
The creepy guy is like that because every so often a lady is so drunk or creepy herself that it works out for him. I have watched, in shocked amazement, at least a few times as the guy who was lean-y, aggressive and inappropriate with me earlier in the night, left the bar with a female. Creepy desperate chicks exist too and they aren't helping the cause to chase off the creep.
Ack! So the creepy guys receive positive reinforcement once (maybe twice) from a lady and goes on to torment the unsuspecting female passes with their lurking ways. That makes sense. Maybe there should be a special spot bars for creepy men and women to breathe heavily on each other. . .like a smoking patio for stalkers.
They're hoping she gets drunk. They're watching her alcohol consumption and estimating how long they have before they can try again.
It worked on my old housemate a few times. I watched.
The creepy guy is like that because every so often a lady is so drunk or creepy herself that it works out for him. I have watched, in shocked amazement, at least a few times as the guy who was lean-y, aggressive and inappropriate with me earlier in the night, left the bar with a female. Creepy desperate chicks exist too and they aren't helping the cause to chase off the creep.
Ack! So the creepy guys receive positive reinforcement once (maybe twice) from a lady and goes on to torment the unsuspecting female passes with their lurking ways. That makes sense. Maybe there should be a special spot bars for creepy men and women to breathe heavily on each other. . .like a smoking patio for stalkers.
They're hoping she gets drunk. They're watching her alcohol consumption and estimating how long they have before they can try again.
It worked on my old housemate a few times. I watched.
I don't believe all creepy guys do this, b/c they've been encouraged by drunk girls in their past. But I don't want to give you a feminist sermon about why this happens. I'll just say that I think general male privilege makes some guys feel like they have the right to harass women in public and that because women are often trained to be "nice," we don't do as much as we should to nip it in the bud. Have you ever read or seen "boy gets girl' by Rebecca Gilman? I think it should be required for reading for every woman and would-be-creepy man. That's all.
I don't believe all creepy guys do this, b/c they've been encouraged by drunk girls in their past. But I don't want to give you a feminist sermon about why this happens. I'll just say that I think general male privilege makes some guys feel like they have the right to harass women in public and that because women are often trained to be "nice," we don't do as much as we should to nip it in the bud. Have you ever read or seen "boy gets girl' by Rebecca Gilman? I think it should be required for reading for every woman and would-be-creepy man. That's all.
I don't believe all or even most creepy guys do this, b/c they've been encouraged by drunk girls in their past. But I don't want to give you a feminist sermon about why this happens. I'll just say that I think general male privilege makes some guys feel like they have the right to harass women in public and that because women are often trained to be "nice," we don't do as much as we should to nip it in the bud. Have you ever read or seen "boy gets girl' by Rebecca Gilman? I think it should be required for reading for every woman and would-be-creepy man. That's all.
I don't believe all or even most creepy guys do this, b/c they've been encouraged by drunk girls in their past. But I don't want to give you a feminist sermon about why this happens. I'll just say that I think general male privilege makes some guys feel like they have the right to harass women in public and that because women are often trained to be "nice," we don't do as much as we should to nip it in the bud. Have you ever read or seen "boy gets girl' by Rebecca Gilman? I think it should be required for reading for every woman and would-be-creepy man. That's all.