Study Finds People With Negative Reactions To Marijuana Didn’t Do It Right; Seriously Dude, Come Over Tonight, We’ll Put On Some Floyd [Daily News Brief]

Tacoma, WA – 2pm PST
By Joshua Mauldin

A three-year study by the advocacy group Center For Cannabis Justice concluded Wednesday that people who report panic attacks and other heightened levels of anxiety from THC have simply not been exposed to the substance correctly. Lead researcher and amateur musician/philosopher Trip Bongmaster, who legally changed his name from Trent Burmaster in 2009, believes his group’s findings have proven that when done right, marijuana can be nothing but good times. “In every one of our trials, participants who reported harsh trips in the past had a killer high when placed on an old couch in a sparsely lit room with ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ leading the way.”

Bongmaster blames pharmaceutical companies for intentionally perpetuating misinformation on the potential for paranoia with THC use. “That’s what they’re all about. They want to keep us hooked on Xanax and Prozac so they can make record profits and turn us into to mindless robots. Don’t smoke weed, it’ll make you freak out, take our lab poison instead. And it doesn’t stop there. It goes way deeper than that.” Those interested in finding out just how deep it goes are invited to attend the next Center For Cannabis Justice meeting possibly this Saturday, depends on, you know, what’s up in the air this weekend.

featured image credit: Torben Bjorn Hansen