Jersey Joe’s Easy Tip to the Ultimate Holiday Gift [Kicking Back with Jersey Joe] Dec14

Jersey Joe’s Easy Tip to the Ultimate Holiday Gift [Kicking Back with Jersey Joe]...

Still racking your brain looking for that perfect holiday gift? Here is my ultimate go-to when you need a present that’s thoughtful, quick and could actually put money back in your pocket!  There’s no need to rack your brain or worry about shipping or standing in long lines. It’s good for just about everyone from family to co-workers. Time is running out for your holiday shopping and my blogumn is here to help! So, as soon as your are done reading this – head on down to your local news stand or grocery store and pick up a pack of instant scratch off lottery tickets! You can be the hero of their holidays if they hit a big cash jackpot! With a simple $10 or $20 you can give a gift that can keep on giving. In a pinch, you can even get a nice holiday card or envelope and stuff a bunch inside. You can give them to your boss, a friend, or your grandmother. (Mine loves getting them!) I’ve done this for years, even giving to co-workers in the past. I was given a stack for my birthday this year and I kept winning over and over. It was a great feeling. I played for a few months by winning free tickets and small cash amounts that I simply cashed in for more. It’s up to the player how they want to spend their winnings, but the odds are pretty good they’ll at least receive a free ticket. Growing up in Pennsylvania, the Pennsylvania Lottery airs this holiday classic commercial, that is simply revised every season (or as of last year, redone shot for shot in high definition.)  The ad agency simply overdubs the new games to match the original jingle. Lotteries have enabled governments to fund all...

The Nonexistent Nerd [Single White Nerd]

The day I ceased to exist stood out only in its unremarkability. I woke up, did fifty jumping jacks, some squats, a few pushups.  I watched some porn on the internet, shook my head in disgusted titillation, and hopped into the shower. I emerged, dried, pulled on some faintly wrinkled khakis and a button down shirt, and drove to work.  I parked my car in the overpriced garage a block from the office. I walked to the office and went up the elevator. Utterly unremarkable. Boring. I slid my key into the office door and unlocked it. Just like I did every morning. I opened the door and walked in. And the lights didn’t come on. The office lights were connected to a motion sensor. The lights would usually click on as soon as someone, anyone, entered the room.  I entered the room and they did not come on. Maybe I hadn’t entered the room emphatically enough. I stood in front of the sensor and jumped up and down. I did a jig. Waved my arms. Nothing, nothing and nothing. Assuming that the sensor had malfunctioned, I finally reach out and turned on the lights. They clicked on bathing the beige room in fluorescent light. Victory. I settled into my chair, clicked on the computer and immersed myself in the day’s work. First I returned a few emails, then reviewed some spreadsheets.  Within minutes, the snafu with the lights had been buried under a flow of information and electronic communication. About half an hour into the day, my co-workers arrived. I absently noted that the lights clicked on just fine for them. “I thought the lights were busted,” I called out as Olivia, a petite slip of a girl who sat in the center of the office less...