Grown Ups at Disney World [Michael Gutenplan]

Two adults take a vacation to Disney World over a holiday weekend. While this would be a great start to a surely hilarious joke, it is the true story of my friend Julia and my true-life adventure for a fantastic, fun filled few days in Central Florida’s best-known theme park with an adorable rodent problem. It all started a few months ago when my college friend Julia emailed me about our annual trip. In the past we have met up in Pittsburgh (where we went to school) or in New York City (where she works and my family lives). This year, Julia offered a whole slew of options and at the bottom of her list was the most magical place of all – Walt Disney World. For some people, a trip to Disney would include cyanide pills, as they would without a doubt want to kill themselves rather than be stuck in the humid air, waiting on line for hours to watch animatronic children sing about what a small world it is, but for me, it was an adventure into happiness, a chance to relive my youth and be a child for a few days. So without hesitation, I agreed to Disney and started preparing to drink the proverbial Kool-Aid of the happiest place on earth! One of our main goals of this trip was to make sure that we kept it an adult vacation and Disney World seemed to have a whole world of activities and restaurants geared just for adults. In addition to the parks themselves, this resort destination has fantastic dining, great themed hotels and a whole variety of leisure activities and sports. From the research that I did, I learned that Labor Day week was actually a great time to...

You’re Not the Only One Your CEO is Screwing [HorroR Stories]

Dear Madame HorroR, I recently returned from a business trip to New York with the CEO of my company and a couple of other executives. One evening I entered the hotel bar where we were staying and saw the CEO at a table with a woman I know is a prostitute. I know this because she had propositioned me on a previous occasion and I turned her down. They left together. We are a public company and aside from this being illegal and immoral, he’s also married. What should I do? –Shocked and Dismayed Dear Dismayed, So, your CEO likes prostitutes? Neat. He’s married? Super. You’ve got shareholders and board members and whoever that Mr. SOX fellow is (I hate that guy) standing in a row just shaking their heads in disapproval. Hmm, I doubt it. But you’re right, this is shocking and dismaying. I mean, I used to go on business trips and feel guilty if I ordered Dominos to my hotel room late at night because all the food they served at the meeting I was at all day was kosher and GROSS.  I would make sure to get extra meat AND cheese on that baby, but I wouldn’t put it on my expense report. I wonder if your CEO expensed the drinks he bought little Miss Madam, or the condom he bought in the bathroom (maybe there was one in his mini-bar so he just charged it to the room—there are probably some hotels in New York that have Viagra in their mini-bars, I’m just saying). I’m going to give you a little glimpse into the mind of an HR professional. If you were in my office right now telling me this I would be plugging my ears and chanting “la,...