Recently, the Expo Line opened from Downtown LA to Culver City. In the next few years, this new subway line will be extended all the way to the beach in Santa Monica. This is a very exciting development. Finally, 21st Century Los Angeles will have a mass transit system that can compete with 19th Century London’s. Just think of all the thousands of underprivileged Angelinos living in blighted neighborhoods without cars who soon will have affordable and convenient access to upscale, safe and fashionable neighborhoods where they aren’t wanted unless they’re bagging groceries at Whole Foods. And think of all the yoga-matt-and-Prius moms who’ll have to twist themselves up into pretzels trying to explain why they don’t like poor people in their neighborhoods without sounding like a bunch of cross-burning racists (I just looove Lululemon’s new Swastika line.) Look at the bright side moms – the faster your nanny can get to you by subway – the faster you can get out to Breadbar to discuss The Help at book club. Of course, this is a particularly exciting development for me, because I am a non-driver (the technical term is “loser”) and LA is a city meant to be traversed by car. Mind you, this was not always the case. LA History buffs love to bring up the fact that, back in the 40s this city was criss-crossed by street-cars and had one of the finest public transportation systems in the country. This is very helpful information for me to know, since I’m often looking for faster ways commute downtown by using a streetcar and a fucking time-machine. Unfortunately, in the 1950s the streetcar lines were all torn out by GM and Standard Oil so they could force consumers to use cars and buses instead. This...

We’ve all been on the road at one point or another and encountered an idiot driver. Drivers operating a motor vehicle either unsafely or in a crazy, haphazard matter. Sometimes you just want to floor it and knock them off the road like a big game of bumper cars. Fortunately, high insurance premiums are the ultimate deterrent against that plan, so you just have to suck it up. But, could you actually be that idiot driver? From tailgating to drunk driving, there are a ton of no-no’s getting behind the wheel. When we first pass our driver’s tests, our heads are still swirling with the rules of the road. Most are really no brainers, but it seems that more and more drivers these days are getting lazy and forgetting one of the most very simple rules of the road. That can be narrowed down to one simple question: DO YOU USE TURN SIGNALS? When turning at an intersection or changing lanes, do you signal every time? It’s a simple yes or no. Sadly, more and more drivers can honestly say no and even more sad is that many won’t admit or do not know that they aren’t using their turn light. “Sometimes” is not a valid answer. That means that there are times when you don’t – so the answer is “No”. Scoring a no answer means you fail this simple test and you are, perhaps, an idiot driver. Living and working in the New York City metro area, I have seen my fair share of close calls by both pedestrians and motorists that are baffled when a driver suddenly whips to the right and tears off into a new direction, without making a signal. It’s like the rest of us are supposed to be psychic and know what’s going on...