The Holiday season is upon us once again. Millions will be taking to the skies to visit loved ones. Yet with rising fuel costs, dozens of surcharges, and perks at a bare minimum, the skies aren’t as friendly as they once were. Flying used to be a treat, something that people dressed up for and made an occasion out of. Flight attendants weren’t just there for your safety, but to also ensure your comfort and care. It often seems like flight attendants can’t be bothered to bring that extra glass of water for your five-hour flight. And why should they? They are often over worked as it is. And to get that extra level of care that used to be the norm, you have to fly first or business class. But in this economy, it’s just not the reality for 99% of us. With people being packed into flying Greyhound buses like cattle, flying has become rather stressful as opposed to a treat. So lately, I’ve relied on myself to add my own touch of class to air travel. Instead of relying on the airline to treat me well, I take a little extra time before departure to ensure I will have my own little treat in the sky. And on every flight I’ve done this, I’ve received envious compliments from passengers wishing they had done the same. The most common remark, “Oh wow, you’ve made your own First Class!” First: Receiving a newspaper or magazine was rather common on airlines before. And while some airlines still have a great magazine of their own to peruse, it will not hold you over for the long flights. The night before a flight, I take a minute to download a magazine or book that I’ve been...

Everything I need to know about Economics I learned flying First Class last week. #1: There was one bathroom at the front of the plane for the exclusive use of the 8 First Class passengers sitting in Rows A & B. #2: There were two bathrooms at the rear of the plane to be shared by the remaining 141 passengers in Rows C – Z. #3: From my vantage point in seat A1, this was just fine. From this experience I learned two vital lessons: #1: Economic inequality is all around us in today’s America #2: It’s only a problem if you’re poor Usually, I’m a proud member of the disgruntled poor. Hell, I work in the theatre — we put the “non” in “non-profit”. In my field, the 1% refers to people earning a living wage or the award-winning playwrights that own dishwashers (Albee sold his for gin). After all, if you work in a building named for a rich person you’re a broke motherfucker yourself. So, on a plane, you’d expect to find me jammed in a middle seat in Broke Motherfucker Class (not even Broke Motherfucker Plus) reading a torn Sky Mall Magazine and dreaming of the massage chairs and air purifiers that I’ll never own, and knowing that while the half-bottle of water and micro-bag of pretzels I was allotted by Cheapskate Air isn’t quite enough sustenance to “keep me alive,” it is exactly enough to make me go to the bathroom, which means I’ll have to shake loose the blood clot forming in my leg, machete my way out of my row, and slog to the back of the plane so I can wait with all the other Broke Motherfuckers for my 30 seconds of solitude pooping into the fluorescent...