Two weeks ago I somehow managed to do what I’ve been avoiding doing for over 10 years now: forgetting that I had my iPhone in my back pocket when I went to use the bathroom. So after fishing my smartphone out of the toilet (a pretty icky endeavor which made me rethink our environmentalist stance of only flushing when we go #2), I turned it on to see if it was still working. Later on I would find out that this is the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do when your phone gets wet for the simple reason that electricity + water = short-circuit — and not the cute movie-about-a-robot kind. So just in case this happens to you, don’t be me. Do this instead. 1. Fish your phone out of toilet 2. DON’T push any buttons!!! 3. Dry it off with a towel. 4. Put the iPhone in a bag of rice to dry it out — if you’re like me and don’t want to taint your entire bag of rice with a urine-covered iPhone, then pour a generous amount into a ziplock bag and put the phone in that. 5. Set bag in window and then wait two days before turning it back on. Now if you, unlike me, were lucky enough to have read this before you stupidly turned your iPhone on to see if it was still working after you dropped it in the toilet, then your iPhone will probably be fine — though you yourself might not be after 48 hours of iPhone withdrawal, which is the exact same in my opinion as heroin withdrawal. But if you did turn it on like I did, then your screen might have gone black. Basically everybody’s home but the...