Frankie says… Parents are people, too. Since I recently wrote about my daddy issues, I find it only fair to write about my mommy issues as well. Now my issues surrounding her are not so definable – they’re much more convoluted and intrinsic to that weird and confusing bond between a mother and a daughter. I can tell you this, though: it makes me not want a daughter. Harsh? Well, it’s how I feel, at least for now. After all the stages daughters go through – immense attachment (0-8), awkward friendship (9-13), intense hatred and rebellion (14-18), clarity of collaborative forces (19-25), then the slow and eventual reveal that your mother is actually a person too and does not exist solely in your head (26 on) – it’s a wonder we’re not all more messed up than we are. This last stage, this is where I am at. I obviously cannot talk about what happens after, since I have not experienced it yet, but I’m hoping pretty hard that there are some more stages because the one I’m in sucks. Now that I am fully an adult, (in some circles) and am making life decisions on my own that will affect my existence from here on out, it’s come to my attention that my mother at some point had to make these same decisions. Not the exact same ones, but similar in the fact that they would impact the rest of her life. At 28, already my mom had three girls from her first husband (an abusive alcoholic) whom she was about to divorce in the next year or so. After that, she would join a commune in southern France, leaving her girls to essentially fend for themselves with the grandparents and not-all-there father...

Dear Dr. Miro, What lowers sperm count? Sincerely, Brad Pitt Dear “BP”, An estimated eight million US couples have fertility issues, half of which involve men with poor sperm quality. There are SO many contributing factors to lowering your count. I am not sure if that is what you are trying to do or if that is what you are trying to avoid but here it goes… To understand this topic better, it is important to get a handle on where your sperm is hanging out and manufactured which is, inside the scrotum. So, first of all, beware of those skinny jeans! You have got to let those boys breathe. Careful of long exposure to extreme temperatures like standing in the freezing cold or severely hot baths. The Cremaster Muscle, responsible for letting the balls hang low or come way up tight, depending on the weather around your manly danglers, can only do so much. Sitting long amounts of time can lower sperm count. This is a major concern for cabbies, pilots, students and any other testicle-baring male who has a sedentary lifestyle. Take caution in regards to radiation emitting technologies. Try not to store your phone in the front pocket for long amounts of time and keep your laptop off of the genital region. You feel how your computer is getting hot? That is a sign TO MOVE it! An epidemic decline of sperm counts in modern man is also being blamed on environmental pollution, plastic chemicals, pesticides and unhealthy diets like junk food and sodas. Pharmaceutical drugs are another major cause of decreased swimmers. For example, the common selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressant drugs can literally bring a man’s sperm count to zero! The men of today have much poorer sperm...