Yesterday was my 10th wedding anniversary, so I figured I would share one of the secrets to long-term marital bliss. You don’t make it through 21 years in a relationship without learning how to use the “C” word. My not so secret, secret? Communication. When I was super-young and single and really bad at relationships, I met Seen. We had some heated fights in the first few years. I’d screech and cry and he’d sleep on the couch. I would shut down rather than discuss problems or find a solution. My move was to steam in silence, waiting for him to figure out what he had done wrong. I wanted him to intuitively know what my mood was, why I was so damn grumpy and the cure for it all. TV shows and chick flicks showed me what perfect was. Women were rescued by a prince. You know, the guy who “got” her even though her current beau didn’t. That was true love and how to know your soul mate immediately. In my humble experience, I can tell you that TV, chick flicks, love songs and most fairy tales are full of shit. Being involved with somebody isn’t effortless, but it isn’t ‘hard work’ either. It’s about talking to each other. Not being an ass-hat helps, but mainly it’s the talking. For me, one of the hardest parts of this communicating thing, was actually knowing what I am trying to say. Sometimes I have to stop, think about what’s happening here and figure myself out before I start talking. Here’s a simple little example we just lived through: When making weekend plans, more often than not, Seen will say “We can do whatever you want to do.” which always made my hackles rise. I...

Frankie Asks… Does growing up have to mean growing apart? Every time I’ve seen my best friend, J., over the past few years there’s been just a little more tension than the last time. Is it all in my head? Does she feel it too? Am I the only one that feels that ever since we moved out of the same apartment, five years ago, our relationship has diminished to – dare I say it – good acquaintances? I find myself not telling her about aspects of my new ‘Hollywood’ life – so different from the party years spent in San Diego with her – or selectively mentioning this guy or that, when before I’d analyze every detail of every new date with her. Is it just because we’re growing into different people as we live these separate lives, or is it because we’re not a part of each other’s lives anymore that I feel this way? These questions have been haunting me for a while now, and more in the last few months since her marriage to her longtime boyfriend, C. Funny story about that, actually. The boyfriend. So back in 2006, when they first met, she’d been seeing another guy. This other guy was a friend of mine before C. and she had started dating and I was sort of his champion, even though he was certainly of questionable character and the two of them had quite the volatile relationship. I guess I thought mad love was better than a secure relationship. (I was 22, if I can use that as an excuse…) So when C. came along and started to whisk her away from mad love man, I told her that I thought she was doing the wrong thing, choosing him....