From Oscar Pistorius to Oscar Night- Beware the Disappointments of February [California Seething]...

Look, we all know the world is a disappointing place. Sure, we wish that we lived in a world where the sun shines all the time (but not because of global warming), our favorite teams always win and Oscar Pistorius doesn’t murder his girlfriend, but that just ain’t the case. The fact is, we live in a world of blizzards and hurricanes (and not just because of global warming); the only thing that our favorite team wins is ESPN’s “Worst of the Worst” every Friday when they show the fucking butt fumble clip on the “Not Top 10”; and Oscar Pistorius became the single most disappointing disabled role model since the now infamous “Is Stephen Hawking gonna have to choke a bitch?” incident of ’97- as chronicled on his hip-hop album A Brief History of My Foot Up Your Ass. While no month has a monopoly on disappointment, February seems to have more than it’s share. The days are short and the weather is cold but the goodwill, glitz and gluttony of December’s merry holidays have long since been replaced by bigger waistlines and broken promises of a better you. Even the laziest, and drunkest, dads have finally emerged from their Two and a Half Men, Bud Lite, Papa John’s coma long enough to throw the desiccated brown corpse of their once proud Christmas tree out on the street like a kid who flunked out of El Camino Community College, where it lies around hoping that if it just looks pathetic enough, someone will take pity on it and haul it away like the goth-chick scowling in the back of math class, who hopes that if she just looks sad enough the quarterback will see the Disney princess hidden behind the black eyeliner and will...

Now Playing: Contraception! [Hyperbolic Tendencies]

From fifty-foot posters of dead fetuses to buckets of real, human blood dumped on patrons of health clinics, the anti-abortion movement lustily embraced the fantastical and spectacular elements of Grand Guignol storytelling. And while the Great Anti-Abortion Movement sadly devolved into Splatter Cinema (killing innocent doctors and patients), its generally agreed that it provided some of the most compelling theatre in our country’s history. Indeed, it set a high bar that’s tough to follow. But in today’s brave new world, things are more complex. More nuanced. This is a world in which a cluster of four cells and corporations are people with rights. In which the majority is now being oppressed and Marriage is on the brink of extinction! We need a new way to tell these more sophisticated stories. Enter, Stage Right: New Theatre of the Grotesque (NTG) NTG is storytelling in which assumedly rational adults are seemingly in charge of their own decisions in a society where purportedly everyone is equal. Except… NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS! <cue creepy organ music> Bwah-ha-ha! Grotesque’s latest release is Contraception! Based on an innocuous, unmemorable line items from the critically-acclaimed source material Obamacare: Because if You Haven’t Got Your Health, What the Fuck Else Matters?, it was infused with “found footage” and then – stealing a page right out of movie studio marketing campaigns – re-released as the sweeping historical epic, Freedom of Religion: The Last Gasp! The new supercharged version of Contraception!, financed by overbearing executive producers like Sheldon Adelson, Foster Friess, and the Koch brothers (all of whom make Michael Eisner look positively hands off) and spectacularly marketed by current presidential hopefuls (talk about free advertising!) has taken the nation by storm. Everyone’s tuning in to watch to America’s Downton Abbey! But let us...