Dear Dr. Miro, My wife of six years, who I love very much, and I are trying to have a baby. This is really embarrassing. I used to be so excited by her and barely able to contain myself. Now, I’m not able to seal the deal. Sometimes I can’t even get hard and when I do, I can’t cum. I think she’s beautiful and such a good woman so that’s not it. Our schedules are pretty hectic with her in med-school and me finally getting a position in the firm I’ve been after, so it’s one more thing stressing me out. We’ve been able to do everything else and I’m really comfortable with our lives so what’s my problem? Sincerely, Can’t Seal the Deal Dear CSD, There is a lot going on here. First, make sure this is not a physical problem. Are you able to get erections and orgasm when you self-pleasure? If not, go see your doctor and get some tests done to rule out diabetes, low blood pressure or a multitude of other possibilities. If yes, then it is definitely psychological. You say you are comfortable – maybe too comfortable? Many times when you get to know somebody really well, the hotness and mystery can dissipate. The yearning, animalistic lust that got you going may have gone away. It’s a lot pressure on a man when he feels like he MUST perform. With everything you are dealing with, no wonder you are stressed! You are NOT a circus animal, jumping through a hoop when commanded. A step back to alleviate some of that command-based sex will help. Even this act of love, which should be a stress reliever, has entered onto the list of things you need to do. Take...

Dear Dr. Miro, I’ve insisted on using condoms with my girlfriend but she says she’s allergic to them. Is that even possible? I’m trying to be a responsible man but she’s making it really difficult and accusing me of not trusting her. So far this has resulted in me not getting ANY. I don’t feel like arguing about this and want to be with someone I can have sex with. Sincerely, Have Condoms Will Travel Dear HCWT, Good for you for trying to use condoms! First of all, a responsible grown up man deserves to be with someone who does not accuse him of mistrust when in reality you are doing the most trusting of all things. Your current girlfriend may indeed be “allergic” to something having to do with the condoms. Does she get a rash when using latex gloves or some band-aids? This will be a big indicator as to whether or not she has a latex sensitivity. Latex allergies are a lot more common than most people imagine. If this, indeed, is the problem, you have great options! You could get a Poly-Urethane prophylactic, like the Trojan Supra, which is actually stronger and thinner than latex while transmitting body heat. Or, you could go with a Poly-Isoprene love glove. Both Durex’s Avanti Bare and Lifestyles’ Skyn will meet that choice. These are the newest technology and cost less than other materials. PLUS, they are amazingly soft, stretchy and strong. If your GF’s sensitivity is not latex related, she may be reacting to chemicals and spermicides used in the pre-lubricated condoms, such as Nonoxynol-9. Though a seemingly a good idea, and as the name suggests, spermicides utilize substances that kill sperm. However, this happens due to the bleach like properties, which can...

Dear Dr. Miro, When do you know you have an addiction to sex? Everyone keeps telling me I’m a sex addict! Sincerely, Can’t Get Enough Dear CGE, Labeling someone with an addiction is dangerous territory. A lot of times a person will not take any personal accountability for their behavior if it can be brushed off as something outside their control with a, “I can’t help it. I’m an addict!” mentality. It is important to distinguish whether or not you have a problem. Perhaps you simply have a higher sex drive than those around you. When there is a problem is if your behavior is interfering with your daily activities; that life in general stuff. The following are a few questions to ask yourself: Are you engaging in risky behavior as a result of a compulsion to have sex? Have you lost jobs, friends or valuable resources because of your predilections? Has the ability to focus on anything besides Sexy Time evaporated? If the answer is yes to any of these, you may have a problem. However, if you are simply having fun, managing to keep all the rest of your life in order and feel healthy about your choices, what is the problem? Sometimes labeling others helps to control them. Investigate why these folks around you are so set on the title: Sex Addict. While you are delving deep into things, you may also want to look into what it is that creates a feeling of ‘never getting enough’. Is there a hole (psychological or emotional) you are trying to fill literally and physically? Regardless of the answers you come up with, understanding your own behavior and figuring out why YOU do what you do will be a great asset to you throughout...