Don’t Give ‘Em Something To Talk About! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, My girlfriend Will. Not. Stop talking about our sex life to her friends and now I find out her family knows intimate details about us, too. This makes me waaaay uncomfortable. I ask her to stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of her relationships. Demands why I want her to stop being in communication with her friends and fam. How else do I deal with this? They are my friends, too PLUS I am SO not looking forward to any family gatherings. Sincerely, Embarrassed to Leave the House Dear EtLtH, So you are involved with someone who over shares and does not respect your wishes or comfort zones. This sounds extremely awkward and rather disrespectful. Could it also be symptomatic of other facets of your life together? It does not seem like you have a very safe space together. There are certain people who do not need access to these personal experiences you two are sharing. Try to come to an agreement on who you both are all right having on that list. Let her know this is not about preventing any and all communication with her loved ones – that is ridiculous – but rather, it is about keeping some things private. Healthy relationships work when both parties are able to hear each other. If you ask, in a non-demanding manner, to limit the juicy details in discussions with others and she refuses, you may need to exit this situation. Really, it is all about what resonates deep inside you both. Perhaps, this is her way and she will never change – can you live with that? If she does not “get” how this is offensive AND you remain uncomfortable with it, there is not much potential...

Good Men Pay For Sex? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, Can you be a good man AND pay a woman for sex? I just found out that while I was working overseas, for a year, my husband not only went to strip clubs with his friends but also saw a prostitute and this is freaking me out. I always thought of him as so respectful and loving, but now I see him as a monster female exploiter! Not only that but he cheated on me! He says it’s not cheating and that he loves and adores only me but I’m just confused and questioning everything that I thought was sacred in our life together. Sincerely, Hurt & Confused Dear H&C, Of course you are hurt and feeling confused. This was not anticipated. It is understandable you would have intense feelings of inadequacy, questions regarding the “sanctity of marriage” as well as possible emerging issues of abandonment. Those are all OK to have, at this moment. Feel your feelings. Discuss with your betrothed what is so upsetting to you and try to truly hear what he says. Get it all out so that this will not continue to rear it’s ugly head. A lot of the time, couples argue about things that have nothing to do with the actual feelings that may or may not be coming up. This is more than likely triggering your attachments to each other. He may fear that you will not love him anymore while you fear that you are not good enough… Time apart is so very difficult and it is important to acknowledge both that AND how hard it is to come back together after even a few days, let alone a year. This is tricky territory. If you feel the two of you cannot...