There’s nothing particularly happy about the Anaheim train station. It’s a tiny little depot in the parking lot of Angels’ stadium with a couple of tired vending machines, concrete benches and one small ticket window. There’s also a sign on the door that reads “Station may be closed at points throughout the day for 30 minutes or more to accommodate meal breaks.” This is a significant improvement over their previous sign: “Closed whenever I’m hungry, bitch.” Of course, this is a tiny underutilized train station in Southern California, so they could probably close down long enough to roast and consume an entire pig and no one would notice or care. After all, commuting by train is only slightly more popular around here than commuting by yak – which is actually surprising, since you can take the yak in the carpool lane on the 405 – but only if the yak has a sticker. Man, I’d kill for a 2006 yak. Anyhow, after spending eight hours in the bowels of the Happiest Place on Earth, it was pretty jarring to be suddenly spat out by taxi into the joyless Amtrak ennui of the Anaheim station. I sat on the platform in a daze like a wadded up towel on the Penn State locker room floor after a Second Mile event – sopping wet and rumpled and wondering if I really just saw what I thought I saw and how the hell I’m going to tell anyone about it. I’d never been to Disneyland before, because I always just sort of took for granted that I’m the sort of person who would fucking hate Disneyland a lot. I’m not really sure why that is. I guess if I really think about it, it’s because Disneyland represents...

Why would anyone bake a tiny baby doll inside a cake? The king cake is a succulent and fun way to celebrate Mardi Gras. It’s time to introduce everyone to this dessert that’s just a darn good time! A few years ago, a friend from New Orleans introduced me to the tradition of the king cake. The large and colorful cakes are a part of the party fun at Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras (or Carnaval) is several days of eating, parades, dances, and partying. The celebration comes to a head with Fat Tuesday, the last night before the Catholic Lent season begins, and at which time the faithful are expected to fast and obey church law. There are many different varieties of king cakes and countries around the globe have their own versions, with many being served at Christmas time. The cakes are usually decorated in Mardi Gras colors: purple for justice, green for faith, and gold for power. Some of these high fat cakes are deep fried like a donut, while most are baked with some type of inner stuffing such as cream cheese, strawberry, or in true Louisianan style – cinnamon. The cakes are then coated with icing and sprinkles. I’ve enjoyed some on several occasions and each time it reminded me of eating a gigantic cinnamon bun. Most feature a small, plastic baby baked inside which is meant to resemble baby Jesus. Finding the piece containing the plastic kid, designates that person gets to receive special treatment such as “king of the day” and in many cases is expected to provide the cake for the next celebration. The host of the party can purchase a cake without the baby baked in, and insert into the cake just before serving to have an idea of where it is. ...