Girls & Guys – “Just Friends”? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, My girlfriend has a few close guy friends she hangs with and I think that’s wrong. I don’t go out with any females alone – their boyfriends would get angry they’re hanging with another man. I’m pretty sure these dudes are waiting for my girl to be weak & screw her when I’m not around. I can’t get this idea out of my head & when I ask her about it she gets really pissed off and says, “We’re just friends”. This is making me crazy! I’m not OK with this. How do I make her stop? What do I do? Sincerely, Crazed with Jealousy Dear CwJ, The question of whether straight males and females can ever truly be “just friends” with no sexual tension or thoughts of wanting more has been asked through out the ages. Perhaps your instinct is correct. There are always exceptions to this but on average, the answer is NO: Guys & Girls cannot be purely platonic on both sides. Even if she believes they are “just friends” these fellows probably do see your GF as a potential mate or conquest. However, the actual problem here is not whether or not these types of relationships are possible. You ask what to do about this situation as well as “How do I make her stop?” I have a feeling your S.O. was friends with these fellows before knowing you and will be way after you are out of her life. This jealousy is going to push her away from you; possibly into the arms of whom you most fear – those attentive male friends who have been listening to all those issues she has been having with you. You see, by not trusting a person’s ability to...

Germaphobe Sex? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t learn In Health Class]...

Dear Dr. Miro, My wife and I, while having a pretty good relationship overall, do not connect on a sexual level. She has a much lower sex drive than I, and body shame coupled with germaphobia limit the range of our activities. She’s made it clear that anal intercourse is off the table (and when I told her she could ”peg” me in return there was no interest at all) but recently I’ve been obsessing about licking her asshole or having her pee on me, and I’m afraid that even confessing these desires to my germaphobe wife is going to have her thinking of me as weird, dirty, and disgusting, and not someone she can kiss or hug without thinking of how unclean I am. What do I do? Sincerely, Feeling Dirty Dear FD, This must be a really difficult place to be. I see it a lot in my practice – both differing levels of sexual desire as well as the significant other’s reluctance to participate in activities that would turn their mate on. Try taking baby steps. Start off slowly with oral sex that does not involve her bum. Is she ok with you licking her lady parts? If that is too “dirty” or shame invoking you could use a barrier such as a dental dam or even Syran Wrap to assist in the purity factor. As you are feeling denied access to certain things, it is natural to start fantasizing about more forbidden zones. The thing is, you are married to your wife for better or for worse and part of that is respecting each other’s limitations. Everyone has fantasies whether they are obsessing over this season’s Prada heels, lasagna or even Golden Showers, sometimes you cannot get what you want....