Tall Drink of Nerd: Drew Barrymore Ending

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a blogumn by Amy Robinson

A civics geek, I am thrilled to be working for the 2010 census.  As a writer, I was excited to take on this unique experience.  My plan was to take copious notes of my census experiences and within the year, publish a Pulitzer Prize winning novel about the crazy exploits of a census taker.

But my dreams of success were dashed during training, all the census taker types were sworn in with an oath.  Basically, everything we see or discuss is confidential.  The records we are compiling will be released for public consumption in 72 years.  Fudge.  So, maybe my novel will bring me fame when I’m deep into my Hundies.

Though the confidentiality rule prevents me from telling you anything I see or discuss, it doesn’t prevent my imagination from whirling while I’m walking around the LA Suburban Valley for 7 hours a day.  Today I was dreaming up a hit-movie about a kooky census canvasser (that would be me).

She would meet Mr. Right through some wacky set of circumstances (dog bite, plumbing mishap, fender-bender, libertarian debate) and a beautiful romantic comedy type situation would ensue.  Okay, I already have a Mr. Right, but I was in RomComland, so lets set that aside in this fictional story.  It occurred to me, while I was spinning this yarn in my noggin, that I always cast the same person in the role of Amy in my mental movies.  I am always Drew Barrymore.

I think Drew got stuck in rotation after she was in Wedding Singer.  I’m not a huge Drew Barrymore fan, I like her in some stuff and steer clear of other stuff.  Our lives couldn’t be much more different, I had a stable family, don’t do the drugs, have had the same man for the majority of the past 18 years.  From what I know of her from gossip rags, she’s pretty much the opposite of that.  She’s short, I’m the tallest woman on earth.  She’s rich, I’m not.  She owns dogs, I’m a crazy cat lady.  Other than the quirkiness factor, I honestly do not know why I’m always being played by Drew Barrymore more in my own imagination.

So I got to wondering, when you imagine movies in your head, do you play yourself?  If you don’t, who is your go-to standard celeb stand-in?  Is it a conscious choice?

Drew, as the census canvasser Amy, finds love and ends up in the nicest house on the block with a single Dad and his lovable mutt.  Amy, the real census taker, covered in the dirty smoggy soot of the San Fernando Valley, went home to her fab hubby, had a beer and wrote a blog.