Share This

Tall Drink of Nerd: Super Sell

Some people yell at coaches and players on the TV during the big game, I yell at commercials when they are stupid.  Because I’m planted in front of the TV on super Sunday, I’ll take this opportunity to fill this issue of Tall Drink of Nerd with my visceral reactions to Super Bowl XLV’s commercials. Let’s see if these ad agencies can convince me to patronize their clients.

Groupon – Good to see Cuba Gooding Jr. working.  He’s a talented guy.  Why is he not working more, or in film.  This guy won an Oscar, right? Who is his management? (I already use Groupon., so Yes I will some more.)

Living Social – That was possibly the best use of “Change Your Life” I’ve ever seen.  The sequence actually addressed what the service does and the variety of things Living Social covers.  The reveal made me laugh out loud.  Really liked the “Star Trek lighting” they used in the final shot (basically a box of light across the eyes, check out old Star Treks it’s in every single episode on Kirk or his lady friend of the day.)  Yes, I will


Teleflora: If you got flowers and the card said you had a terrific rack, is it the thought that counts? Yes, I would.  (How many girlfriends are gonna get that exact card this Valentimes Day?)

Movies

Just Go With It – Not going with it. Not going to it.

Battle: Los Angeles – Aliens invading LA?  I’m totally in for this movie.  It looks kick-ass.  But since they’re invading LA, I’m thinking that the aliens are going to have a treatment for a movie script of a pitch for Real Housewives – Mars.

Cowboys and Aliens? Holy Crap! Yes, please!

Oh Michael Bay…I, personally, do not need a 3rd remake of the Transformers movie.  I miss Megan Fox already.

 

Cars

Dear Chevy Cruze “Status” – I spend too much time on Facebook already.  Do we really need OnStar agents reading our FB newsfeed? “John Smith just had a great Appletini!…” Will not.

The Audi 8 commercial was hilarious.  Beautifully shot vignette of old and rich folks in a high-class pokey, soothed by Kenny G.  I was wondering if this is what Bernie Madoff’s prison block looks like. Alas, I will not

Epic Journey: This Kia Optima commercial makes me think about actually buying a Kia.  Usually I never remember which car commercial goes with which car, but the epic journey was entertaining and hey, I am in the market for a new car.  Hyundai was looking good, because of Jeff Bridges mellow voiceover.  But now I’m thinking I really do want to go from driving down the highway, to Poseidon’s palm, to an alien planet, to an Incan pyramid. Yes/Maybe I will be epic.

Volkswagon Passat with the tiny Darth Vader:  It was leaked early.  You all saw it here on FaN last week.  Adorable.  Winner!

Chevy Silverado HD:  Since Lassie is no longer with us, it’s nice this guy has his truck to help save Timmy.  Will anyone younger than GenX get this tho?  I loved it, but I still make Lassie jokes.  Yes, I’d consider it.

Doritos Commercials (I am guessing these are the top 3 viewer generated ads)

1.  Doggy running into the door.  Hurray for the dog on winning that confrontation against the douche-bag who thinks it’s hilarious to have a dog injure itself.  Yes, I will…make a donation to the humane society.  Not buying Doritos based on this.

2. Guy sucking cheese dust off another guys fingers or pants?  I do not want to encourage people to lick me.  No I won’t

3.  Miracle Dorito’s bring the neglected fish, plants, and Grandpa’s ashes back to life. This one was genius.  If there is a contest of the best viewer generated ad.  We have a winner! Yes, I will

Junk Food ETC

Pepsi Max: That wife is only trying to help her husband stay healthy and stay away from bad foods. (Bonus points for a pie in the face joke.)  Also, this should serve as a warning for any blonde, bimbo types who jog in leg-warmers, that they should not flirt with a man who is obviously sitting next to his lady.  She totally had it coming. Yes, I will/would if I drank soda.

Snickers with Rosanne and Richard Lewis: The shine is off this idea a little, because it’s pretty much the same as the Betty White commercial.  The idea is that Americans get whiney and lazy unless they’ve had their sugar. My husband laughed when Rosanne got clobbered by the log.  I wasn’t amused.

Trident Vitality Gum - A bunch of sexy people throwing fruit at each other.  I would chew a gum to make me sexy, but don’t want it to make me mental enough to be whipping an orange at other foxy folks.  Dear Agency – Literally throwing your product in my face kinda douses my enthusiasm to use your product. No, I won’t

Budweiser – So seriously like 2 minutes after I had this thought “Most of the commercials I really like do NOT feature a celebrity. And I’m not digging this whole ‘Here we go.’ campaign from Bud”, here comes Peter Stormare in the best beer commercial of the day.  I will hold you closer tiny Stormare.  If I liked Bud, I would say yes to this.

Did anyone else notice that there were no Miller Lite or Coors commercials?  The only other beer ad I saw was for Stella, which is owned by the same company as Bud.  I don’t remember any other year with exclusive beer advertising rights.  Is this a genius move for InBev?

Tech

Sony Ericksson  Experia Play: Android-bot with grafted human thumbs is going to invade my dreams.  Not in a good way.

Xoom – the Motorola Tablet: My initial thought was NICE!  Really cool direction of pulling in the 1984 element from the Apple commercial of oh so many years ago .  Love the automatons with their earplugs.  Very well crafted.  If I were in the market, heck yes I would!

Careerbuilder: Monkeys are funny.  If you’ve ever seen any of the dozens of documentaries or Nova specials about how chimps are treated after they are out of that cute/funny/adorable phase used in commercials, ads with monkeys stop being funny.  Sorry to play Debbie Downer, but No I won’t.

So did you watch the game or the commercials?  Did you have any favs that I didn’t mention?  Share with the group!  Or just feel free to disagree with me about monkeys.

Watch all the commercials here.