Tall Glass of Shame: Be a Better Halloweener
OK kids gather up your Chilean Coal Miner’s outfits and GaGa Meat dresses cause its time to get ready for Halloween 2010. You know I take this celebration seriously and am always a little more than obsessed about Halloween, so I’m here to help you out and get in the holiday spirit!
I love Halloween and the act of picking a costume idea starts in mid-Summer for me. I know I’m a bit extreme in that sense, but I change my mind so many times before I come to a final decision. I often jot things down throughout the year, which leads to odd moments of finding a slip of paper with things like “Zombie Denise Richards” written on it.
This year I want you all to think outside the box for your costume. Don’t just go the predictable route as we all know we are bound to see eighty incarnations of Chilean Miners, Lady GaGa’s and I’m sure a smattering of Tea Party related outfits. (John Deere shirt and a teabag?) I want you all to go further. This year if you want to go topical, maybe flip it on it’s head… Perhaps instead of a Coal Miner, go as the Coal Miner’s Mistress Susanna Valenzuela with Coal prints in all the right places. Want to go as GaGa Medium Rare? Then maybe you could go as a Cow Wearing Lady GaGa for a change.
There are so many more options than “Sexy Kitty” and “Hot Cowboy.” For one year, I beg of you to drop the mentality “I get to dress like a slut for one day a year and nobody can say anything about it!” Believe me, you have many other options to dress slutty throughout the year and you know which dress you can grab for the occasion… just lose the kitty ears.
There is nothing wrong with sexy costumes, they are just a little too predictable. It could even just be putting a different spin on your “sexy” costume. Wouldn’t it be far more fun to hear “I’m the sexy kitty that mauled Roy Horn of Siegfried and Roy in vegas!” Just a little bit of fake blood and some finger smears of bronzer like he was fighting back is all it takes! Voila!
It is always so much better when you go knowing you are a one-of-a-kind creation, I can’t tell you how many damn Navy and Army costumes I see when I go to the gay bars or a friend’s party on Halloween. Hell, it wouldn’t take all that much effort to make that costume much more fun with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” spin! Halloween is a free pass for your creativity to shine! You really can be anything! Now I’m off to work on my costume for this weekend: Pope-rah Winfrey in her Final Season “live from the Vatican!”
I have collected some fun videos for you all to check out this week. Watch them, then go out, have fun, surprise people, make them laugh, and above all be safe! Happy Halloween!
Chloe Sevigny wishes us a Happy Hallowe’en
The trailer for the oh so horrible Frankenhooker (1990)
This one deserves repeating for the holiday! From Silence! The Musical comes the Lego enacted version of the song “It Puts The Lotion In The Basket.” Warning: NSFW
This is a trailer for the truly fun episode of the Canadian show Friday the 13th: the series called “Vanity’s Mirror.” Filmed in 1988, this series followed a small group of individuals who have set out to buy back or find all the items sold from a small antique store that possess magical powers. In this episode we see Helen Mackie find a small compact that when shined into the eye of another causes them to fall in love with you till their death. Helen being unpopular and ugly takes full advantage of this new magical item and goes on a revenge spree. I once knew someone that went as her for Halloween in her ugly blue gown with a big bow… very obscure but amazing costume!
When in doubt you can always go in a Hipster Dickhead Costume!
Now everybody remember your safety tips and you’ll make it through the crazy holiday weekend!