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Tall Glass of Shame: Drag-U [RuuuuuPaul]

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a culling by Zack Bunker

It is Drag Thunderdome people! Three women enter, three ugly drag queens leave… only to be paraded in front of their terrified family members, that smile back to keep their mother or sister from bursting into tears. This my friends is what happens when good drag queens take a gig on RUPAUL’S DRAG-U, transforming perfectly nice women into creepy, messy transvestites. Of course they aren’t doing it just for fun, they are doing it under the guise of Female Empowerment. Every episode I have seen so far is less women appearing empowered, and more: look at the funny butch girl in heels and a sparkly dress, marching in place to “I Will Survive.”

Where exactly is RuPaul Dragging U? After the third episode aired I had to raise the question, why are we turning women into drag queens again? Is this supposed to help them somehow? Are the awkward challenges like eating a strawberry seductively really gonna help them in their search for happiness, a sense of self, or a date?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE fan. I love to see some great drag queens duke it out each weak and lip-sych for their lives, but this show feels very forced and borderline creepy. While well intentioned the “professors,” which are former DRAG RACE contestants, all seem over it before it began. I can almost see the boredom in their eyes and hear the enticing “Cha-Ching” of their paychecks getting cashed with each new appearance. RuPaul even seems to know this isn’t really helping with each sad trip to the “Dragulator.” Here the women see their drag queen potential in over the top, Photoshopped, screen reveals. It is hard to get excited when a giant amazon woman is deemed Saline Dijon by the Dragulator to a few ooos, ahhhs, and small golf claps. Next the show moves on to typical wig stealing, a few “work it girls,” lots of draped cheap fabric, and three women looking somewhat confused and mildly terrified of appearing in public at the end of the experience.

I think this show could have been more fun if it was turning men, gay or straight, into drag queens. Maybe it could be about “walking a mile in my heels.” I think that there is just something lost in pasting a bunch of make-up on women and telling them they are beautiful. I don’t see any major payoff other than a sick fascination in watching a woman who hates dresses feel totally uncomfortable for my amusement. They all end up looking like children playing in mommy’s closet to a certain extent. I haven’t yet seen that great moment we are all waiting for where the women look at the camera and show us they have really changed inside and love themselves after all these years! I’m not gonna hold my breath…

You can check out full episodes on logo.com and judge for yourself, but in the meantime I’ll just sit here and patiently wait for the next season of RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE to start! For nostalgia sake, let’s check out a video with a young and crazy RuPaul living like that wild woman she keeps talking to these girls about… In 1987 RuPaul made a Psychedelic Hip-Hop track and music video called “Ping Ting Ting” It kinda makes me wish i could have seen her back then, it seems like she was way more fun!

In other straight girl/ drag queen news: Lady GaGa is on top of the world these days and is quite possibly the biggest female superstar right now. Her style has been copied all over the place and many are clamoring to get the same “look.” If you go online there are bizarre tutorials of how to copy dress designs, her jewelry and even her make-up looks. Here is the original video that this funny video is spoofing: click here And now lets see if you can get your very own Lady GaGa Bad Romance Eyes from this great parody…

You want to see real Female Empowerment? OkAY, I bring you: “Jane Austen’s Fight Club”

In reality, I think this is what most women really want, not ugly drag make-up and a crummy sequined dress….