Tall Glass of Shame: Glitter and Sequins [Evil Cats] Nov11

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Tall Glass of Shame: Glitter and Sequins [Evil Cats]

I don’t feel safe in my own home. Have you ever had that feeling? I walk the halls and place my feet over the bed’s edge all while squinting my eyes and holding my breath. I live in constant fear of the next attack from two devilish creatures that live in my home: My Cats!

We named our kittens as a joke at first. We pondered aloud what might be the gayest names we could give them that weren’t a vampy gay legend like Liza or Cher? We decided to name our little girl Glitter (after a terrible Mariah Carey film and gaudy sparkly mess) and our little boy Sequins (a favorite of drag queens and good conversation pieces when it comes to overly-sparkly things.) The names were so bizarre but they stuck. I seriously think Glitter is still pissed about her name, she has a permanent “stink face” on.

The kittens were rescued this past Spring by our good friend Mark. He volunteers with an organization trapping and spaying/ neutering feral cats. These little balls of energy warmed up to us, and the sweet life of luxury slowly but now they are walking all over us. I am beginning to feel like a pin cushion.

Sequins, while a little ball of love, can get very riled up and has hit that stage of youth that everything is a toy. If something moves in his presence, it is his for the hunting. My feet learned this bloody lesson yesterday. I was on the edge of slumber when suddenly my foot was impaled with kitty claws and frenzied blood lust. He got what he wanted, a HUGE reaction and a little drawn blood.

I live in a war-zone and didn’t even know it. With the two of them, they are either play hunting each other, or ganging up on us and our belongings. It like living in Europe during the bombings… we never know what damage will happen and when it will strike. We may just as easily lose an arm, as well as all our family photos and their frames. These little bombs of fur are out there just waiting… to STRIKE!

This week, as I have been a little cat-obsessed, I decided to take a look at some of the best Cat videos on the web… I know we have all seen some passed around a million times, so I aimed to go a step further. Meow check it out:

Lasagna Cat bring us this bizarre Live Action version of Garfield comic strips set to a trippy musical homage after each one… Fascinating, at times scary and always hilarious! Look for more of these Gems on youtube.

I can imagine if I were to attempt Parkour (the art of jumping and hurling your body from building to building or space to space) I would most likely flail and die fairly quickly. If I were a cat however…. I would show you my best Cat Parkour

Inception Cat… nuff said.

Japanese Cat Weightlifting!

A french existential film brought to you courtesy of Henri, the Cat Noir

Just in time for the holidays we give you: How To Gift Wrap a Cat

featured image credit: Miss . Evil [ AWAY ]