Tall Glass of Shame: Kids Aren’t Just a Song by MGMT
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a blogumn by Zack(i) Bunker
I guess you could say I was a weird kid. I watched the same cartoons everyone else did, ate the same snacks, but I sometimes had a flair for the more dramatic side of life. I always enjoyed being unique, or the leader of the pack when it came to what we were playing on the playground. (One time we were overheard by teachers and parents playing “Divorce Court,” but that’s a different story for another time.) I liked being the only Zack in my class as I felt it added to my mystique. I was five years old, and it was when Zachary P. entered my class that year things immediately shifted: I was no longer the only Zack! I was pissed.
I talked it over with my friends on the playground after the initial shock wore off and even though they told me it was different, because he spelled Zack with an “H” as in “Zach,” It didn’t matter. It bothered me going home that night knowing I was no longer the only one with my name. Something had to be done. The 1980s world I grew up in was flooded with fictional names and personas, and many with just one word like Sylvester, Madonna or Iman. It was time to take action… I needed a new name. That evening while filling out my homework, I was writing my name at the top of the paper and added a small “i” to the end of it. I liked the look and the sound even better! It was at that moment I became: Zacki.
Now here’s the tricky part, you have to spell it with a little “i” at the end of the name not a “y,” as that would be Zacky…. this is pronounced “Zack-i.” At the age of five I was very specific! The next morning I walked into class feeling not only better but excited. I sat down and quickly informed my friends of the change. Many thought it was a favorable addition and agreed that from that moment on I would be Zacki. On the playground I told Zach P. that he could have that wimpy name cuz I had moved on. I felt like I had finally clued into something cosmic in the world and everything was in its rightful place.
My teacher approached me the next afternoon with several papers I had proudly scribbled my new moniker on. “Zack, you do know there is no “i” in your name correct?” I replied “No Mrs. McReynolds, you don’t understand… I’m Zacki now.” With that she simply smiled and nodded, only to take the matter up with my mother that evening. “Yes, We’re aware of the Zacki,” my mother said to her when they talked. In fact by now I even had neighbors calling me by my new taken name. It had stuck and for a few years I really liked it.
Eventually I grew out of the name as I got older and want back to signing by my given name. Zach P. eventually moved away, or perhaps I banished him with my mind to some far-reaching land where unicorns eat people who steal names… We’re still not sure. But this strange bold move by a five-year-old is still a part of me today. My family will still call me by it, old neighbors still remember it, and I have a new fondness for it all over again these days. Kids are cute and weird.
So, with that I have decided this week is about KIDS. I wanted to find clips relating to the kids we all were, wanted to be, or could have been. The clips I found for you this week are all over the map, so get ready and away we go!
First up, had I seen this show when I was a kid I would have loved it! It has everything a weird little kid loves: puppets, cats, the scariest microphone ever, and it is French! I now present to you: Telechat! (Cat TV 1980′s)
In the category of kids with big imaginations and precocious flair, I present to you: The “Fabulous Dr. Zachy” explaining his new pet donkey Prissy Poo. This kid has a very big imagination, is having a blast and seems to have a penchant for Paul Lynde! I see alot of my strange self in this kid!
From Libya, I bring you a creepy and hysterical children’s song and dance, with what I’m told is a terrible but close translation from the native Arabic. It will get stuck in your head and right now I kind of want to dance a round the room to it hehehe
Now if you aren’t watching this show yet, you really should! The new reality series on the Sundance Channel, “Be Good Johnny Weir” is a great little show about figure skating’s gay icon and so much more. I thought i’d hate both this guy and this show, but I have found myself really enjoying his passion for the sport and his artistic creative spirit. Johnny Weir is not your average figure skater… Check out this promo for the show, it’s uber gay, oozing with a bit too much fabulousness, but it is a really hysterical spot that captures a bit of the glitz Johnny strives for. With a few figure skating lessons, I’m sure I would have wanted to be him way back when. I still kind of do, where’s my fur coat? Watch this show, I dare you!
And here for good measure, I give you one of my personal all time favorite songs! Here is Pat Benatar’s “Hell Is For Children” (1980)
Here’s your extra credit… it speaks for itself.
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