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Tall Glass of Shame: TruckNutz [FaN Favorites]


a favorite blogumn by Zack Bunker

Zack Says: I love a good creepy All-American product as much as the next guy, but when i saw these things dangling off a truck in front of me I was stopped in my tracks. The fact that this product even exists and is amazingly popular just makes me giggle. I love it when people take thing too far, so I don’t have to.

UPDATE: Also, if an app just doesn’t do it for you, now there are Phone Balls…check ‘em out at!

From February 19, 2009

Do you ever personify anything in your life? Do you chat with the kitty and truly imagine them as a human counterpart? Now what about inanimate objects? Have you ever named your car? Have you imagined your car having its bad days and somehow responding to your needs like another human would do? Okay, now have you ever perhaps felt the need to add an accessory to it that may be somewhat practical, but still makes you giggle, like say a car bra? Now lets take it a step further and say maybe you wanted to see what was under that bra or car cover….would you feel the need to give said car a pair of breasts or testicles? Some people in this country are doing just that, and the hilarious product is called TruckNutz.


Apparently first sold on the internet in 1999, TruckNutz have taken off like gang busters. (Insert ball-busting joke here, hardy har har.) These items of swinging plastic, brass and chrome have become a popular staple of truck drivin’, All-American men all across the US.

I had the um… pleasure? of seeing many sets of these dangling wonders over Christmas on the freeways driving to and from New Mexico. Usually they were hanging low from some jacked-up oversized monstrosity of metal that was taking up far too much of the road. Now i’m always one for a good laugh, so this product makes me a little giddy, but honestly there is trucknutz1another part of me that finds them, well… kinda gross. Especially the flesh colored ones. When those rolled up in front of me, I did have to do a severe double take and must say… it wasn’t so funny as much as “um..ew.” Maybe it was the odd veiny painting job on them that just didn’t sit well. (I know take away the boy’s gay card he’s complaining about balls…)

How do you guys feel about these brash novelty items? I find it humorous that since April of 2008, TruckNutz have been banned in the state of Florida, a state that is ironically shaped like a penis. If you are caught letting your vehicle’s manhood swing free, you will be slapped with a $60 fine. Imagine the cop pulling you over, “Excuse me sir, but do you realize there are testicles hanging from your bumper?” Virginia is apparently trying to (ahem) *snip* these items off of trucks in their state as well.

Video of the TruckNutz phenomenon after the jump:

If You feel so inclined, there are several choice establishments to purchase your very own pair of manhood for your vehicle.

Don’t have a Monster Truck to slap some balls on?! Well grab your iPhone and get ready for iNutz!

For those of you with a smaller machine, maybe between your legs, you can breathe easy as they now make BikerBallz! You too can get a piece of the action! What’s next people? What other ways can we mass produce a product to give our vehicles a little more anatomy? Well…

BrakeNutz… because sometimes its not enough to call attention to fake testicles on your car, you need them to light up too!

A little response to said nutz, also kind of how I would react… hilarious!


Get even more Zack by checking out his blog Tall Glass of Shame