Thanksgiving (Sex) Toys & the FAA [Ask Dr. Miro (What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class)][Best of FaN]

I picked this as the ‘Best Of “Ask Dr. Miro”‘ from the past year after getting a lot of personal comments thanking me for the travel assistance. Plus, it just seemed to be appropriate for all the summer travel that is going on.

Dear Dr. Miro,

I am flying cross country to meet my girlfriend’s family for Thanksgiving and I’m worried about what kinky stuff won’t get through security. She asked me to surprise her with “something new and spicy” since we’ll have the family’s guest house all to ourselves. I have the basics like lube, a vibrator, condoms, but I’m worried that anything with more pizazz will get me in trouble. I’m not sure if the vibrator will cause problems, even. I don’t want to check my bags because that gets me even more paranoid so what do I do to avoid looks and getting flagged?

Future Savvy Kinky Traveler

Dear FSKT,

This is one of the most commonly asked questions I get and it is a good one! You are wise to be concerned especially on these crowded hectic travel days but there are some basic rules to follow. First of all, make sure to tow the 3-1-1 rule: No fluids in anything bigger than a 3.4 ounce CLEAR container. Make sure the bottle has its size marked on it to avoid suspicion. If your lubricant is called SEXY LUBE ASS PARTY, and that embarrasses you, put it in another container. Put all of these neatly packaged items into ONE quart size, zip-top, clear plastic bag which is limited to ONE per passenger.

Even if you follow the rules, most importantly, look like you know what you are doing. Do whatever you need to do to avoid looking nervous. The TSA folks are trained to look for anyone who is acting “strangely” or suspicious, and if you are freaking out about being discovered for the Kinkster you aspire to be, they may pull you aside. Remember, Inspectors are there to look through your stuff. If you do not want something to be viewed, do not bring it.

Vibrators, like cameras, should have batteries removed. Understand that according to the FAA & TSA, Vibes are completely legal and permitted. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed,” says Carol Queen, the fabulous San Francisco Sexpert, lecturer and proprietor of the Good Vibrations chain of sex stores. “If an inspector asks you about it, look him in the eye and tell him it’s your vibrator.”

Says TSA spokesman Nico Melendez, “objects defined as “club-like” should be placed in checked luggage. This applies to anatomically correct cylinders of roughly a foot or so in length. Such cylinders, or shafts, would fall within the broad category including billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, nunchakus and martial arts weapons. All of those items are OK in checked luggage but not in carry-on luggage.” So, do not plan on bringing a massive dildo unless you want to check your stuff. “We would call that a baton-like item,” said Melendez. “It could be considered a weapon.”

You all know metal devices set off the alarms so keep that in mind with piercings and such. Also, it is perfectly legal to have whips, leather floggers, handcuffs and other restraints in your hand luggage – just be prepared to say what they are for. Do not shy away from questions, keep your chin up, look officers directly in the eye and be proud of your ability to have a fun, kinky and rewarding sex life.

Have a Happy Thaksgiving!

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

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featured image credit: carbonated