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Vaughn & Wilson “Crash The System”, Hawke Pays The Bills And Whedon Throws A Shakespeare Party [Weekend Movie Preview]

THE INTERNSHIP

For reasons that still evade me, Wedding Crashers was a phenomenal hit back in 2005, grossing $209M at the domestic box office. 20th Century Fox is hoping the Vaughn/Wilson man-child machine can duplicate that return some eight years later.

imageI still don’t understand the appeal of Wedding Crashers, but as I once told my boss at New Line Cinema, “nobody ever made money on what I like.” [Note to Self: Don't f*cking say that. What're you, stupid?]

Is there an actor who FedExs his performance in from a shorter distance than Vince Vaughn these days (besides Bruce Willis and Adam Sandler)? Vaughn looks like he boxed his part up in 2006 with the note, “Do Not Open Until Desperate.”

The Professor Xavier bit is worth a chuckle I guess. I don’t know man, I’m out. Feel free to tell me how amazing The Internship is in the comments (with a scan of your ticket or it doesn’t count).

 

THE PURGE

Like Sinister, The Purge is another entry on the ever-growing list of “What Ethan Hawke Does To Keep The Lights On While Making Good Movies.” [See: Before Midnight]

imageSinister doesn’t entirely suck and maybe this won’t either, especially if you like routine home invasion flicks with THE F*CKING STUPIDEST PREMISE OF ALL TIME attached to it.

All right movie, let me get this straight, if we suspend criminal punishment for one day a year, unemployment will be 1% and all other crime will vanish for the remaining 364 days?

Economic inequality and the ramifications thereof disappear because every June 7th we get to steal a bike, shiv an old guy and rape a cat? Eat it with a side of poop movie! I hear on Wall Street, The Purge is being released as Tuesday.

True Story: When you write screenplays, people pitch you “ideas” for a movie all the time. Not ideas they think are worth fleshing out to 105 pages on their own, but if you do it, guaranteed hit!

Most of the “ideas” are minimally different variations on The Running Man, Die Hard, The Matrix or something they just watched. “Three guys wake up in Reno after a crazy work retreat and they’re all like, ‘what the hell happened?”

Anyway, years ago my co-writer was pitched an idea by her dad called Kill Day about a utopian society where people get to murder one person every year…for some reason.

It was one of the dumbest concepts we’d heard up to that point (though he had many more of equal silliness). We laughed it off accordingly and went back to writing something no one would eventually care about.

When I saw the trailer for The Purge I said to myself, “Mother f*cker, they made Kill Day.” Let that be a lesson to you screenwriters out there, write every idea your dad comes up with.

In Hollywood, stupid is an asset.

 

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Due to a strict deadline for an unrelated Fierce & Nerdy obligation, I won’t be doing a video review of this one until next week. I will be discussing it on the podcast however, so look forward to that.

I said look forward! Loooooooook!

imageWhile working on a little movie that flew under the radar last year, Joss Whedon invited some friends over to his Santa Monica home and shot this much higher profile retelling of Shakespeare’s classic comedy.

It’s shot in black and white with a jazzy soundtrack but sadly doesn’t star Keanu Reeves. Oops. Ted Theadore Logan’s recitation of Early Modern English was the glue that held the Branagh version together.

Despite this egregious oversight, Much Ado About Nothing opens in limited release in NY, LA and San Francisco on Friday. That means you can either see it at a movie theater or watch it performed live a few blocks away by a fledgling theatre group in black tights.

I’m sticking with the movie version. There’s a pretty decent chance Loki will show up at some point.