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Venice Flytrap: I Love L.A.


A blogumn by Kelly Kaboom

I love where I live, Venice, CA. Home to an eclectic mix of people and personal beliefs. Venice to me is a beautiful play land filled with a consistently entertaining cast of characters and experiences. Maybe that’s why it’s the second most popular tourist destination in California. The first being the Magical Kingdom, Disneyland. Yet how magical is it compared to Venice? The big D will give you dancing mice and a light parade; but will it give you God and boobies on the same day?

Dogtown will. Thriving on a mix of ecentricities, Venice has taken away magic in favor of cold, beautiful and brutal reality. This mix of reality and eclectic behavior came face to face, or chest to chest if you will, on August 23rd when two events directly opposed to each other took place simultaneously in Windward Circle.

The first was a city wide gospel rally, which my church took part in. Choirs, preachers and dancers came from all over to worship at the beach. A free lunch of amazing soul food was offered. Charities gave shoes to needy kids. People reached out with bibles and prayers for all on the boardwalk. They even had baptisms taking place in the open ocean! Myself, I sang along with every song I knew, dancing and praising Jesus loudly and cooling myself with my nifty new paper Jesus fan.

Until I saw the boobie parade.

Apparently August 23 is National Go Topless day, or as EVERY man I talked to called it: Boobies Day!

Down the boardwalk came a small group of bare breasted women covering their nipples with fake nipples. Women who’s breasts you didn’t want to see to begin with. Armed with camera’s and microphones they stopped to read speeches in the circle, directly across from the rally. One might think that this boobie intrusion would cause a problem for the Christian’s, but surprisingly no. There was very little notice paid. A few blessed souls headed over to the fairy-winged, bare-breasted protesters; only to wrinkle their noses, repeat “oh-no-no-no” and scurry away.

Determined to see this fantastic sight in all its culture-clashing glory, I climbed to the top of a bluff. Behind me the ocean baptisms took place as a stage full of the God-fearing performed. Directly behind that was a whole mess of tits. Standing on the edge of the country I sighed. Thank you God for this place with it’s mixed up mesh of social morals and more’s.

God Bless Venice
ah hell
God Bless America