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Wonderfully Awful: The Snuggie Epidemic


a blogumn by Robin Rosenzweig

snuggieHas this been a particularly cold winter? Because it seems like everyone has been stricken with Snuggie Fever, and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do about it!

So in case you’ve been living under a rock, a Snuggie is some sort of miracle garment that is saving us from dying of hypothermia in our homes and is apparently something we all simply cannot live without. Although in actuality, it’s just a blanket with sleeves.

The Snuggie seems to be the solution for those who are either too incompetent to use a regular blanket or not quite ingenious enough to wear a bathrobe backwards. The commercials featuring that poor woman expressing her frustration as she struggles to figure out how to wear a sweater or sit under a blanket have been haunting our televisions for some time now. But I never in my wildest dreams imagined that the Snuggie would actually become something big.

Apparently, the blanket incompetence problem is a major epidemic, because from what I’m hearing, Snuggies are officially a Big Deal. This became clear to me when I saw Oprah interview the creator of the Snuggie last Friday – a man who, quite frankly, must be pinching himself daily to make sure his good fortune is not just some crazy dream. And with good reason, because seeing Her Highness, Lady O and her guests all Snuggied up and singing its praises looked like some sort of freakish nightmare to me.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I just don’t get it. I happen to like blankets and sweaters, and have no problem figuring out how to use them. And even if I’m just relaxing at home, I still prefer that I don’t look like I’m on my way to the Nike Store to pick up the proper footwear to go surfing on the Hale-Bopp comet. Seriously, Snuggie enthusiasts, y’all look like cult members. But I’m clearly in the minority here. When I ranted to my boyfriend about this whole Snuggie thing, he actually defended them, saying some nonsense about not wanting his arms to be cold when lying on the couch reading a book, blah blah etcetera blah. I’m currently rethinking our relationship.

The Snuggie craze has become so inexplicably huge that there are now a series of Snuggie Pub Crawls planned across the nation. Although it is part of my very nature to scoff at the idea of wearing one of those monstrosities in public, as a beer dribbler, I am starting to see the benefits of going from bar to bar dressed in what amounts to a giant, fleece bib.

Ultimately, though, despite the confusing feelings I’m experiencing every time I see evidence of the growth of the Snuggie craze, I’m not the real victim. That distinction goes to the Slanket – a.k.a. the blanket with sleeves that nobody seems to give two craps about. I don’t know what came first, the Snuggie or the Slanket, but it’s clear to see why the one with the warm, fuzzy, comforting name is flying off of shelves and the one that sounds like some sort of disease is being ignored by Oprah and the rest of the world. That said, as much as I feel sorry for the poor creator of the Slanket, I can’t support it enough to purchase one, wear it, and proudly say, “Hey look – I’ve got the Slanket!” I don’t want people to worry about my health, after all. So I’ll just stick to my old-fashioned ways and keep using my sweaters and my blankets…because, well, I know how to use them.

For your viewing pleasure, here’s the Snuggie commercial:

And my personal favorite, the Snuggie commercial parody: