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Wonderfully Awful: Thou Shalt Not Covet the iPhone…or Shalt Thou?


a blogumn by Robin Rosenzweig

Photo Credit: gabyu

It was late Friday night, and my fiancé and I were lying around catching up on television shows that had been piling up in our TiVo all week. When the clock struck midnight, he said “Happy birthday” and handed me a small gift bag. I opened the bag and found the gift every girl dreams of…particularly if that girl had been carrying around a bare-bones, scratched-up, battery-held-in-by-nothing-but-duct-tape cell phone.

It was a gift card for an iPhone!

I’ve never in my life gotten a phone that wasn’t free, never mind a fancy phone. It’s probably for the best as I’m the person who lets her phone fall out of her pocket only to accidentally run over it with her car (true story). But all of that didn’t stop me from coveting the almighty iPhone. Unfortunately, my FUNemployment income didn’t jive with the idea of spending money on a new phone, so I had been trying my best to be content with Ol’ Duct Tapey, pathetic as it was. Thankfully, my dear fiancé came to my rescue.

The next morning, I dashed off to the mall to pick up my phone. Once at the Apple Store, I was nearly thwarted by large crowds (seriously, is the Apple Store ever NOT crowded?) and a minor server crash. But eventually, I had my brand new iPhone in hand and I couldn’t be happier.

Because I wanted to protect my baby, my next step was to get a cover. I wandered over to a kiosk that sells phone accessories and picked out a cover. As I took my phone out of its box, it immediately  SLID OUT AND FELL TO THE GROUND. I had been an iPhone mama for all of five seconds and I went and dropped my baby! Lucky for me, iPhones are resilient, but it was abundantly clear I needed to protect it. The problem was that every time the gentleman working at the kiosk put a plastic cover on the phone, I found myself unable to take it off. And I wasn’t about to buy a cover that would be stuck on my phone forever. He kept putting the cover on the phone, and I kept failing at my attempts to take it off. I’d try for a couple minutes, and he’d come back saying, “No, no, no, that’s now how you do it,” and take it off himself. Rinse and repeat. I grew increasingly frustrated with my inability to remove a simple cell phone cover, and he clearly became increasingly frustrated with me for not buying one already. Accepting defeat at the hands of the hard case, I eventually settled for a soft, easy to remove case.

As soon as I got the iPhone home, we became attached at the hip. I spent the entire day downloading and exploring apps. I worked on trying to type accurately, despite my stubby fingers. Wherever I went, whatever I did, given the chance, I would go back to playing with my phone. At one point while riding in the car with my fiancé, he saw me with my gaze fixed on my phone and rather dejectedly said, “I’ve lost you, haven’t I?”

I’m sure anyone who has an iPhone will tell me that this is merely a phase and I will start behaving normally again soon. In the meantime, I will continue Facebooking on the go (so new and exciting!) and furiously downloading apps. Speaking of, if you have any suggestions on awesome apps, the comments section is here for you. As am I. And so is my precious iPhone.