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Wow! It’s Wednesday! Choice A
An old friend of mine wrote a great blog post about being frustrated with her career and my answer to her blog post was as usual 1) way too long and 2) more helpful to me than to her. But basically it can be boiled down to this. Every artist has three choices to make in life. A) Do your own art and accept that you might never make a dime doing it or B) Do art for someone else and be unhappy or C) Don’t do art at all and go crazy.
Actually it’s not really a choice, because no one ever makes a firm choice not to pursue their own art. Everyone who dies without trying to make a career out of their own art basically waffles until they expire without making a firm decision.
It’s not a blue pill or red pill situation for artists. Choice A, unlike the pill that makes you forget, is always on the table. Even if we opt via indecision for Choices B or C, Choice A will haunt us until the day we die. In fact, Choice A will probably be what we think of with our dying breaths.
I wish I had better news for you, but those are the grim facts of art.
So I say just choose Choice A. Yes, it’s the hardest choice you’ll ever have to make, but at least you chose. At least you tried. I think everyone (including me) is afraid of taking chances. But those who do never seem to regret taking them on their death beds. I’ve never heard of anyone saying, “I wish I hadn’t written that novel, or tried to sell my art, or pursued my dreams. I really regret doing that.”
Also, there’s something rather practical about deciding to pursue your dreams. When you make a firm decision, then you can make plans. You can start saving money toward your goals. You can figure out how to make things happen and how you might keep yourself in food and shelter if no one agrees to pay you for your art. Plus, it’s entirely possible to pursue Choice A while Choices B or C supply you with day-to-day funds.
Everyone is afraid of failure, but the fact is that trying will make you infinitely happier than not trying. Accepting your fate is the only way to carve out a new one.
If you never decide, then you’re stuck in a dream state, one that only becomes more and more depressing as you age. I have nightmares all the time, but you know what dreams used to upset me the most? The ones where I was at my dayjob, toiling away or trying to meet some impossible deadline. I would wake up from those dreams feeling depressed, because I had just spent additional hours working, hours that I wasn’t compensated for monetarily or emotionally.
Funnily enough, I never dream about writing my novels. And even if I did, I wouldn’t mind.
I decided to abandon my FT radio writer job and seriously pursue novel writing right around this time two years ago. And when I look back on it, actually making that decision was the hardest part. Don’t get me wrong, the rest of it was also hard. It’s just nothing’s as hard as taking that first step.
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Photo Credit: Hector Garcia (click on pic for more of his photos)
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Oh, and hey, don’t forget, my last book event of the summer is THIS THURSDAY at Esowon Books in LA.
Thank you for writing this. Maybe you wrote it in part to remind yourself, but I'm glad you shared it with the rest of us who might be struggling between A, B, and C. I feel like I'm faced with the three options every freaking day (I guess that means I haven't yet made the choice). Oh and dude, "Accepting your fate is the only way to carve out a new one"? I'm stitching that into a pillow.
Yes, I made Choice A two years ago, but in many ways I have to keep on remaking that Choice. As you know sometimes I rail against "choosing" a career I'm so emotionally unsuited for, but then I remind myself that this wasn't really a choice. I tried to do other things, I tried to write for other people. It didn't work out. The more I accept that this is my path, the better I feel. But man is that acceptance bit hard sometimes. One day I'll do a blog about how you have to keep on recommitting to your art. It's like marriage in that way.
Thank you for writing this. Maybe you wrote it in part to remind yourself, but I'm glad you shared it with the rest of us who might be struggling between A, B, and C. I feel like I'm faced with the three options every freaking day (I guess that means I haven't yet made the choice). Oh and dude, "Accepting your fate is the only way to carve out a new one"? I'm stitching that into a pillow.
Yes, I made Choice A two years ago, but in many ways I have to keep on remaking that Choice. As you know sometimes I rail against "choosing" a career I'm so emotionally unsuited for, but then I remind myself that this wasn't really a choice. I tried to do other things, I tried to write for other people. It didn't work out. The more I accept that this is my path, the better I feel. But man is that acceptance bit hard sometimes. One day I'll do a blog about how you have to keep on recommitting to your art. It's like marriage in that way.
Brilliant post etc. I made choice A a few years back, then was seduced back to choice C. That makes me mental. You are very right about recommitting over and over and over (repeat x 5 bazillion daily). Thanks for the reminder and sharing your journey.
Yeah, I could actually write a whole nother blog about how I quit a job back in 2004 and got so poor that I happily went back to office work. But then once I got an apartment and new car, I got sad again, so I decided to quit and move to Chicago. Then I met CH, which was great, but then I got sad again… I say I committed, but it took years to do so. That's why that's the hardest bit.
Brilliant post etc. I made choice A a few years back, then was seduced back to choice C. That makes me mental. You are very right about recommitting over and over and over (repeat x 5 bazillion daily). Thanks for the reminder and sharing your journey.
Yeah, I could actually write a whole nother blog about how I quit a job back in 2004 and got so poor that I happily went back to office work. But then once I got an apartment and new car, I got sad again, so I decided to quit and move to Chicago. Then I met CH, which was great, but then I got sad again… I say I committed, but it took years to do so. That's why that's the hardest bit.
I actually envy you, because at least you know what your passion (though love hate) is. My problem is I cannot choose A, B or C because I have no idea what I am choosing between. Admittedly, I am not an artist so forgive me for latching on to your post.
a) Now you really need to read the Lori Tharps book I recommended to you when I was in NJ. Her main character is struggling with the exact same thing.
b) I would argue that you probably have a passion that you might not be pursuing b/c you're afraid it won't work out or that you can't afford to pursue it fully. So you dismiss it and say "I don't have a passion."
c) If b is not true then I would suggest trying many different things (i.e. punditry, teaching, etc). It's kind of like dating. Sometimes your passion doesn't just make itself evident, you have to do some digging.
d) Either way, don't mistake passion for fun. Often the jobs that we're passionate about are grim pieces of businesses. You've had enough "What if I do all this hard work and no one wants to read it" convos with me to know that.
e) In the end, I'm happy because I'm doing what I need to do as opposed to what I like to do. I hope that makes sense.
I actually envy you, because at least you know what your passion (though love hate) is. My problem is I cannot choose A, B or C because I have no idea what I am choosing between. Admittedly, I am not an artist so forgive me for latching on to your post.
a) Now you really need to read the Lori Tharps book I recommended to you when I was in NJ. Her main character is struggling with the exact same thing.
b) I would argue that you probably have a passion that you might not be pursuing b/c you're afraid it won't work out or that you can't afford to pursue it fully. So you dismiss it and say "I don't have a passion."
c) If b is not true then I would suggest trying many different things (i.e. punditry, teaching, etc). It's kind of like dating. Sometimes your passion doesn't just make itself evident, you have to do some digging.
d) Either way, don't mistake passion for fun. Often the jobs that we're passionate about are grim pieces of businesses. You've had enough "What if I do all this hard work and no one wants to read it" convos with me to know that.
e) In the end, I'm happy because I'm doing what I need to do as opposed to what I like to do. I hope that makes sense.