Four Eyes [Tall Drink of Nerd]

When I turned 8, I got my first pair of glasses. They were HUGE and I immediately felt self conscious in them. It was the beginning of my dorkness.

As puberty hit, so did a bigger pair of glasses. My eyeballs only wanted to see things close up. So, as my nearsighted-ness worsened, so did the lenses. They grew thicker and thicker through my teen years. I was sure that I was hideous. I was sure that no one would ever find me attractive. I was sure that about 75% of my problems were caused by the fact that I had to wear glasses. (I’m now aware that my tendency to be over-dramatic, and towards depression, and that I lived in a small town where I fit in like a flamingo at a drag race, didn’t help. But mostly, it was the glasses.)

So 10 years into the vision enhancement experience, my parents decided I could finally get contact lenses! Woo Hoo! Maybe now, boys would make passes at me, because as everybody knows, boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses. My nose might not be getting thinner and my boobs may never get bigger, but at least I didn’t have to wear those ugly-ass glasses!

I remember breaking my contacts in. When I was 18, my summer job consisted of mowing lawns for old ladies. As it was a small town, the job options were few. The eye doctor said I could only wear the lenses for 2 hours at a time, and I planned those times when I would be out pushing a mower in high August heat. The sweat and dust totally got into my eyes, but the usual red imprint of sweat on my nose wasn’t there! Everything seemed so much easier.

There was a period, in my 20’s, well, really for about 15 years after I got my contacts, when I was so embarrassed to be vision-impaired, that I didn’t use glasses at all. (And I am seriously near blindness without corrective measures.) An ancient pair of spectacles, with a half-broken ear piece, was relegated to the medicine cabinet and only brought out for extreme days when I was too sick and dehydrated to pop in my miracle lenses. I really didn’t want my boyfriend to see me in glasses. God FORBID I would ever leave the house in my glasses. Oh, hell no. I didn’t want to the world to know that ugly creature. She had been left behind in my youth. I was glamorous and gorgeous now. No eye correction in sight.

Over the years, I would apologize to my boyfriend (now husband) Seen, whenever I spent the day in glasses, or if I happened to leave the house in glasses. I would tell him that I was sorry for looking like this. So ugly, not my best, etc… He always replied:

“Baby, you look great in glasses.”

After about 12 years, of him repeating that every time I stuttered how ugly I was, I started to believe he actually thought I looked good with, or without, my glasses. His constant reinforcement got into my brain. I started to get the concept that I could look good with four eyes too. So off to the optometrist I went and picked out a groovy pair of purple frames.

Just as my own confidence in my nerdy cuteness grew, I began to notice other ladies who wore glasses and were still totally hot. I’ll start the list with our very own ETC. She rocks that pair of one-of-a-kind, jealously-inducing glasses. Her four-eyed confidence is an inspiration!

I got hooked on the Sundance Channel’s Ludo Bites America. Chef Ludo Lefebvre, and his wife Krissy, traveled around America, setting up his pop-up gourmet restaurant in a bunch of major cities. Krissy, the brainy organizer behind the situation, is always in a pair of specs. And she is really confident, strong and completely smokin’.

Finally, have you seen Zooey Deschanel in The New Girl? The show is hella funny, AND she has these huge glasses that frame her hypnotically gorgeous blue eyes. Yes, her character is a total nerd too, which actually helps us other nerds come into our own. I hope there is a self-conscious, four-eyed teen out there who finds this show and confidence in their own glass-enhanced beauty.

Now, I am one sexy glasses-wearing chick. I even wear them when I go out with friends or to parties or to dinner. I don’t even mind having my picture taken with my glass lenses on. Occasionally I have the urge to say “Sorry honey…” but it passes quickly when I see how good I look in these specs.

Forever your nerd!

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