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Ask Dr. Miro: Sex With Friend & Creepy Hubby Texts [What You Didn’t Learn in Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I had just started seeing somebody I like A LOT, when I went back home to visit mi familia. One night, I had sex with a friend while her husband watched. It was really hot but now that I’m back, he’s sending me inappropriate texts that are making me muy uncomfortable.  It gets me really excited thinking about all of the crazy things we did but only when I think of it as a one-time thing. I can’t believe what I got myself into! How do I handle this situation? I want to maintain our friendship AND I really want to make my new relationship work.


Scarlett O’Shamed

Dear S O’S,

It is important to respect our friends and lovers enough to trust they can handle the truth. Approach this situation with a positive outlook; believe your friend and her husband will share your wishes.

Since her friendship is important to you, clearly explain your perspective. Let your amiga know how great everything was about that night. Tell her how amazing SHE is. Make sure your friend knows how truly turned on you were, and that just thinking about your liaison gets you all worked up. Go ahead and say you don’t want stuff between you to get awkward.  More than likely, she will be thinking the same thing. You can even incorporate the fact that the encounter was especially juicy because you knew it was a once in a lifetime event! Firmly state how it is going to be, now that you are home and excited to try out your new relationship. Remind her of the import her friendship has in your life and how much your intimacy means.

Do not engage with the husband. That means, NO replying to him in any manner as this is between you and your friend and YOUR texts will be the ones misconstrued, at a later date. Hopefully, the texts will stop after your conversation. If he continues to creep you out, call your friend, again, and let her know about your discomfort. Obviously, the husband is so overheated from watching the two of you, he simply does not know what to do! Of course, that does not forgive his slimy behavior.

It is possible to keep your friendship going and kick start that new relationship.  While you do not need to go bragging about your rendezvous, there is no need to feel ashamed. Be proud of your new experiences!

Lust and Happiness,

Dr. Miro

Featured image credit: SaltGeorge