Want to make your world all wavy and crazy for a few moments?  Just stare at this video for a few and prepare to be wowed!   It’s completely safe.  I tested it on myself and now I’m typing away at this blogumn.  The effects last about a minute.   The best advice to make this work properly is to click the maximize box at the bottom right corner of the video.  Then, place your face up close to your computer monitor and stare at the center screen so the image completely fills your field of vision.  Now, get ready for some fun!     One of the newest fads online is optical illusion videos.  There are hundreds, if not thousands, posted on Youtube.  Simply stare at the screen for a short period of time, and then look away when instructed.  I probably tried several dozen, with most giving me the same results as you hopefully just hot, and many did nothing at all.   When starting at an image for a long period of time, the brain becomes fixated on the subject, and almost records a negative image.  Quickly taking the object away, give you an opposite image left over in your field of view.  Since these videos are moving and only in black and white, the image is superimposed over what you are seeing for a few seconds, giving the illusion of movement.   A fun experiment we did in elementary school was to take a piece of green construction paper and stare at it for about a minute.  Take it away and you will get an exact red opposite image, stored in your visual field for a moment.  Try it!   The videos posted online are based on the same principle, but there are a few bad apples out there.   Some of these videos promise to offer self hypnosis or relaxation.  The viewer is suckered into watching and then after a few minutes – a big surprise.  The jokester will edit in a monster or zombie face and loud screaming to interrupt your serene session and scare the daylights out of you.  Just be warned if you decide to try a few more of these out…  I found out the hard way!   THE 411   What: rotating optical illusion video   Effects: causes visual field to wave and distort after watching for a few minutes   Available: Youtube and Facebook   JERSEY JOE RECOMMENDS:   Check this out.  The video I chose above should be safe unless you are prone to dizziness or epileptic seizures.  Use at your own risk and treat it as how you would react to a room full of strobe lights.  It’s a fun experiment that only costs two minutes of your time and is also great to share with the kids.   Image credit – Chambres...

1. Showbiz Pizza Screw Chuck E. Cheese! In my youth it was all about Billy Bob the Bear and the kick ass animatronic band *The Rock-afire Explosion convincing my young mind that if you had pizza and game tickets, all was right with the world (and that there was definitely not pee in the ball room). *Now THAT is a band name. Anyone want to start The New Rock-afire Explosion with me? Coachella, here we come! Image Credit: Geekologie 2. MTV I know that this channel technically still exists but I’m talking about actual Music Television. Many more generations have grown up without this societal boon than have but I was one of the lucky ones who looked forward to not only a new album coming out, but a new video as well. An added bonus was the entire “Unplugged” series, which brought about several classic performances in their own right. Now I’m all sad and angry. Image Credit: Simeone’s A2 Media 3. The McDLT Ah McDonalds. I know the Big Mac tends to be the reigning king of your hamburger empire but I remember fondly those days of yore when you offered up a burger housed in such a unique way I’ve never seen it replicated. What a rarity in the fast food wars. The McDLT ingeniusly came with the hot elements on one side of a Styrofoam container, while the cold elements chilled out on the other side, just waiting to be joined in delicious union. This was a really smart idea but apparently most of their patrons preferred hot tomatoes and wilted lettuce for their lunch purchases. Silly people. Image Credit: Fanpop 4. Colecovision My first gaming console and still the closest to my heart. I remember playing The Smurfs (and marveling at the fact that when you walked in Gargamel’s castle it sounded suspiciously like passing gas. Just me?), Q-Bert, and Donkey Kong on my parent’s bed and knowing that in fact, the future was NOW. This system looks so lovably rinky-dink in this day and age but to a kid in the 80s, it couldn’t be beat. Image Credit: Video Game Gazette 5. Firefly There are no jokes to be made here, nor any explanation needed. It had to be said. Now if you need me, you can find me weeping in a pile on the floor for the rest of the...

San Antonio, TX – Friday By Joshua Mauldin In Texas, it’s legal to use lethal force in the pursuit of one’s stolen property. It’s a fairly broad law that lends itself to stories like, Man Acquitted Of Shooting Ex-Girlfriend For “Stealing Heart” or Ronald McDonald Moves To Texas To Legally Gun Down The Hamburglar. However, nothing in the mind of a satirist can top what a Texas jury actually did yesterday. They acquitted a man who shot a woman in the neck for stealing $150 he thought was going to be used as payment for sexual services rendered. Let me reiterate that. This asshole, Ezekiel Gilbert, expected to have sex with an escort. Instead, when she fled with his $150 to give to her driver/pimp, he shot her in the neck. SHOT HER IN THE NECK. And it took her months to die. In agony. Never mind that he was soliciting prostitution IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! According to the jury, what she should have done was accept the $150 and then shot him when he took her bra off. “Your honor, he gave me that money but I did not give him permission to steal my brazier!” Game over, Texas. You win. Image Credit: Huffington...

THE INTERNSHIP For reasons that still evade me, Wedding Crashers was a phenomenal hit back in 2005, grossing $209M at the domestic box office. 20th Century Fox is hoping the Vaughn/Wilson man-child machine can duplicate that return some eight years later. I still don’t understand the appeal of Wedding Crashers, but as I once told my boss at New Line Cinema, “nobody ever made money on what I like.” [Note to Self: Don’t f*cking say that. What’re you, stupid?] Is there an actor who FedExs his performance in from a shorter distance than Vince Vaughn these days (besides Bruce Willis and Adam Sandler)? Vaughn looks like he boxed his part up in 2006 with the note, “Do Not Open Until Desperate.” The Professor Xavier bit is worth a chuckle I guess. I don’t know man, I’m out. Feel free to tell me how amazing The Internship is in the comments (with a scan of your ticket or it doesn’t count).   THE PURGE Like Sinister, The Purge is another entry on the ever-growing list of “What Ethan Hawke Does To Keep The Lights On While Making Good Movies.” [See: Before Midnight] Sinister doesn’t entirely suck and maybe this won’t either, especially if you like routine home invasion flicks with THE F*CKING STUPIDEST PREMISE OF ALL TIME attached to it. All right movie, let me get this straight, if we suspend criminal punishment for one day a year, unemployment will be 1% and all other crime will vanish for the remaining 364 days? Economic inequality and the ramifications thereof disappear because every June 7th we get to steal a bike, shiv an old guy and rape a cat? Eat it with a side of poop movie! I hear on Wall Street, The Purge is being released as . True Story: When you write screenplays, people pitch you “ideas” for a movie all the time. Not ideas they think are worth fleshing out to 105 pages on their own, but if you do it, guaranteed hit! Most of the “ideas” are minimally different variations on The Running Man, Die Hard, The Matrix or something they just watched. “Three guys wake up in Reno after a crazy work retreat and they’re all like, ‘what the hell happened?” Anyway, years ago my co-writer was pitched an idea by her dad called Kill Day about a utopian society where people get to murder one person every year…for some reason. It was one of the dumbest concepts we’d heard up to that point (though he had many more of equal silliness). We laughed it off accordingly and went back to writing something no one would eventually care about. When I saw the trailer for The Purge I said to myself, “Mother f*cker, they made Kill Day.” Let that be a lesson to you screenwriters out there, write every idea your dad comes up with. In Hollywood, stupid is an asset.   MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING Due to a strict deadline for an unrelated Fierce & Nerdy obligation, I won’t be doing a video review of this one until next week. I will be discussing it on the podcast however, so look forward to that. I said look forward! Loooooooook! While working on a little movie that flew under the radar last year, Joss Whedon invited some friends over to his Santa Monica home and shot this much higher profile retelling of Shakespeare’s classic comedy. It’s shot in black and white with a jazzy soundtrack but sadly doesn’t star Keanu Reeves. Oops. Ted Theadore Logan’s recitation of Early Modern English was the glue that held the Branagh version together. Despite this egregious oversight, Much Ado About Nothing opens in limited release in NY, LA and San Francisco on Friday. That means you can either see it at a movie theater or watch it performed live a few blocks away by a fledgling theatre group in black...

Music!  Movies! Music movies! Nerds, rejoice!  I’m pulling together both worlds! Here is a list of eight must-see music documentaries. Have you seen all eight?  Have you seen any of them? Are you hearing a cheesy announcer voice in your head as you read this? Good! Here we go: —————————————————————————————————————————– (1) Meeting People Is Easy OK Computer-era Radiohead struggle with their new critical acclaim in this 1998 film by Grant Gee.  Yorke and company tour the world, make really cool music videos, and talk about why they’re nothing like Pink Floyd, no matter what your stoner friends think. This is a fun and trippy film that mirrors the band’s rock period perfectly.  Thom Yorke is a total jerk to everyone he meets. His youthful attitude problem is funny to watch nowadays, since in 2013 he’s a silly cuddly old jester who gives advice to thirteen year old girls in his free time. Anywho.  Check it out. —————————————————————————————————————————– (2) Dig! Dreaming of rock stardom?  Thinking about starting a band?  Watch this movie first. Dig! presents viewers with an unflinching look at the life of two bands (The Dandy Warhols and the Brian Jonestown Massacre) over the course of seven years. It is unparalleled in its realism, regardless of how real it actually is (I’ll save the validity argument for a different day.) We see the BJM and the Dandys rock empty (and packed) venues.  We watch them record in large professional studios and in the basement.  We watch them argue with their girlfriends.  We watch them argue with their bandmates.  We watch them take drugs. Then Anton kicks somebody in the face.  Then Sia plays a gig topless.  Someone desecrates a sitar.  Photo shoots.  Video shoots.  More drugs.  Then they argue. You know.  Like bands do. In the end, one group achieves relative success, and the other fades into credible obscurity.  The music is great and the story moves fast.  Strap in. —————————————————————————————————————————– (3) We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen Minutemen fans are shocked when you don’t know who the Minutemen are (end the ignorance – click here!) The art punk trio from San Pedro was anchored at the center of the SST punk movement of the eighties, alongside label mates Sonic Youth and Black Flag. Interviews with all sorts of amazing bands make this film worth the 90 minutes.  Thurston Moore…Henry Rollins…the guys from Saccharine Trust???  (end more ignorance! – click here!) The road trip conversations with Mike Watt are the real showstopper, though. Hop in the van, Watt’s going shopping. —————————————————————————————————————————– (4) Pearl Jam Twenty In their heyday, Pearl Jam and Nirvana had the same exact amount of “cool” credibility. Amazing what a little dying in your prime can do. Twenty years after the Doc Martin and flannel boom, Eddie Vedder and co. reminisce about the good old days, and question how they evolved into the grizzled old veterans of rock’s yesteryear. Also, they still sound really good live, and there is lots of concert footage here to sink your ears into.  Plus, Cameron Crowe directed the damn thing.  Turns out he’s still pretty good at that, too. Seattle. Hollywood. Kurt. Drugs. Lollapalooza. Ticketmaster.  Nothing is sacred. The soundtrack is great, and so are the interviews. —————————————————————————————————————————– (5) Anvil! The Story of Anvil The sad fact about Anvil is that, although they were intensely influential to the thrash and metal scenes of the early 80’s, they were left behind when the success train left the station. The film follows guitarist/vocalist Steve “Lips” Kudlow and drummer Robb Reiner, family men in their fifties trying to make sense of the path their lives have taken.  The years playing to empty bars for no pay, while watching bands like Anthrax and Metallica make  boatloads of money, is beginning to tire out the rockers and their families.  Anvil is ready to make one last push, and the movie takes us on...

Santa Monica, CA – Thursday By Joshua Mauldin When asking her personal trainer how she ranks on a scale of 1 to 10 this morning, 43-year-old entertainment executive Marilyn Gull was shocked to discover that on looks alone she was a 5. However, when her “pocketbook” was taken into consideration, her ranking increased to an 8. “After my husband left me for a 22-year-old dancer, I was destroyed,” said Marilyn through a melancholy grin. “No matter how much I had accomplished on a professional level, I was still doomed by the patriarchal rules of attraction.” Shallow men of an average-to-poor aesthetic have long been able to use success to secure attractive women half their age. Women of equal means have had a difficult time duplicating that dynamic – until now. “When I was young, I dreamed of a world where women, no matter how unappealing our physical appearance might be, could work hard enough to attract sexy, young idiots.” Bryce Fischer, Marilyn’s personal trainer, echoed her excitement. “I only do this gig during the day. I’m actually a double threat writer/actor. I’ve got this awesome idea about a ripped personal trainer who saves LA from fat aliens. If I’m going to play the lead, I need to know people who know people. Banging this old broad gets my foot in the door.” “Banging this old broad,” Marilyn laughed. “He’s so cute.” Feature Image Credit: The...

As the ravages of aging drag my butt ever closer to the ground I’ve learned an appreciation for music that fulfills a need. Being a white male with the figure of a three-day-old hard boiled egg I had no use for dance music of any kind and thus dubbed it all “crap.” Now that I spend so much of my time on a treadmill (humble brag alert unless you’ve seen a picture of me) it turns out that Tom Waits doesn’t keep my thighs pumping (I apologize for the image). No, I need something with a quick tempo, a simple melody and preferably, over-produced harmonies. This isn’t necessarily true for lifting weights, any ol’ angry, screaming group like Strike Anywhere, Red City Radio or Polar Bear Club will do. For cardio though, I’ve found myself turning to music I would never listen to in the car, while I’m writing or anywhere else. Music like the five on this list. Below are the top five guilty pleasures (which is really just a shorthand for “songs I don’t want to take shit for liking”) on my gym playlist. Go ahead and laugh, but what’s on yours? 1. Rihanna – We Found Love I downloaded this song at 3am to keep a party going after a friend suggested it. She realized my iTunes collection was sorely lacking in what would be called “party music.” Everything about it suggests something I’d instantly turn off. The beat is simple enough to make Fat Boy Slim roll his eyes. The lyrics are trite and simplistic. It really only does two things and yet, I spin this puppy at least once every three days. I’ve tried other Rihanna songs hoping to duplicate the adrenaline rush this one provides but alas, nothing. What is it about this one? You would think with the amount of sweat I manufacture, Umbrella would be the…watch the shirt, I was leaving anyway. 2. Kelly Clarkson – Because Of You I HATED this song when it first came out. HATED it. One night my wife was listening to it while doing homework (grad school jerks) and I secretly decided to give it a shot. Sadly, it really works. The chorus is just big enough to push me through. Normally swelling strings in a pop song like this is a shortcut to emotional resonance and here it totally is…and that’s okay. When I’m trying my best not to collapse, jettisoning myself into the front of the person behind me, I don’t need to connect with a song on a deeper level. Synthetic emotional weight is good enough for me. No Kelly, because of you. 3. B.o.B. – Airplanes This song is dumb. The opening piano riff sounds like it’s going into that Backstreet Boy snoozer I Want It That Way. The rhymes are barely acceptable for anyone calling themselves a rapper and Hayley Williams mails in her chorus contribution. But damned if B.o.B.’s travelogue meets bad high school poetry doesn’t work under the right circumstances. Those circumstances happen to be when there’s very little oxygen in my brain but I’ll take it. 4. All American Rejects – Move Along The vocals here approach annoying and the second half of the chorus makes me want to yell, “Come on, come on, love me for the money, Come on, Come on, listen to the money talk!” but Move Along succeeds in moving me along so I play it often. Is it the on-the-nose pleading? The encouraging, “you can do it” vibe? Nope, it’s the silly choral arrangement in the bridge. I am such a friggin’ sucker for that (see: The Killers – All These Things That I’ve Done). 5. Blink 182 – Feelin’ This This one isn’t fair because I actually kind of love this song. It’s a guilty pleasure because the lyrics are so goddamned awful, so absurdly embarrassing that I refuse to sing...

When I was a kid, no battery operated toy was safe from my 6-year-old screwdriver. I’m not sure when it started, but since before I can remember, I was pulling the motor out from the rotary plastic fishing game or ripping the simple circuitry out of the Operation man’s face. I should make it known that I hated Operation. The damn thing gave me a heart attack and I wouldn’t go NEAR it if others were playing. The suspense, followed by the heart-stopping and the unpredictably timed BUZZZZ were all a little too much for me. And yet, for some reason, every time Santa had discovered I’d ripped the poor man’s nose out he’d bring me another one! Listen, Santa (mom), I didn’t want another Operation game. It wasn’t getting destroyed due to regular wear and tear. I can’t even say I had ever played one single turn. What I really wanted was a circuit set or electricity kit or a “My First Soldering Iron”. I was intrigued as to how and why this stuff worked, what made it do what it did, how it was made and how else it could be applied. My learning never went very far though. I mostly just tore stuff out and tried hooking it up to Legos. Nothing really ever DID anything and I never really LEARNED anything until the introduction of the internet in my life around the 7th grade, then I was able to just dial up and AOL [verb] how to REALLY get stuff done, like linear editing on my VCR and rigging an old mouse as a bedroom door alarm. I only wish that there were the resources for kids back then that there are today. I think every single kid should be encouraged to explore and should be given the tools and kindle they need to light the fire of discovery and invention inside of them. I can’t imagine what I’d be doing with myself today if someone recognized my habits as more than just a nuisance. A 15 year old developed the first early test for pancreatic cancer which is 168 times faster than the old standard and costs 5 cents. When asked about his childhood, what he reflects on the most is the fact that his parents encouraged exploration in him more than anything else. They never directly answered his questions but encouraged him to experiment, to find his own answers. Now, I’m not sure what trust-fund-millionaire-don’t-have-to-work-a-day-job-so-can-be-parents-of-the-century-family this kid CAME FROM in an alternate universe, but maybe the least we can do is equip our kids with the tools that tickle their exploration fancy. It’s important right now that you know what an Arduino is. They call it a ‘micro controller’ but that’s a little too fancy so let’s just call it a ‘mini computer’ (but don’t actually call it that because technically, that’s not at all what it is). Arduinos are like the Legos of the future (read: the NOW). They’re circuit board sets and accessories that you can use to build virtually ANYTHING, from alarms that email you when certain events take place, to ‘brains’ for a 3D printed robot, to a tracking device. Arduinos exist so that REGULAR people can learn about how stuff works and make that stuff work for themselves. Adafruit is a website with the most user friendly FREE tutorials you’ll find to learn about and become advanced with Arduinos. I recommend anyone who’s ever wanted to learn how to make cool stuff (or to program, for that matter – they go hand-in-hand) take a look at that website and tell me you don’t want to buy a starter kit right now! Now that you’re a little familiar what an Arduino is, I’ll tell you how it’s going to make your kid a genius. LightUp is a fully funded startup that exists to use augmented reality (AR) to show kids what’s...

Washington D.C – Wednesday By Joshua Mauldin A political pundit patted himself/herself on the back yesterday after writing a vitriolic, straw man defense/attack of his/her preferred side of the Democrat/Republican false dichotomy. “There are real issues out there,” proclaimed the pundit while trying on a new suit/dress. “But those issues are often complicated without a clear black-and-white answer. By reinforcing the liberal versus conservative canard, I’m giving people a valuable shorthand on how to feel about them. Americans need me.” Though admitting the defense/attack was an irrelevant, nonsensical piece of ad hominem chicanery, the pundit said American principles should always trump thoughtful discourse or respectable debate. “Did you see how many hits my blog got? Or the cable news ratings when I appeared? I’ve successfully monetized my voice by satiating a demand, that’s basic economics. What’s more American than that?” Feature Image Credit: Michael O. Leavitt...

Dear Dr. Miro, I love masturbating for women while being degraded. The problem is trying to find women to do it in front of. I recently discovered a website where you can broadcast yourself and if you’re lucky, you’ll find someone who wants to watch you jerk off. My question is, is this legal? Do I have anything to worry about? Sincerely, Love To Show & Blow Dear LTS&B, As long as you are displaying yourself in situations where everyone is on board with your actions, things are fine. There are quite a few websites for ADULTS ONLY where you can do this. Since there is no money exchanged AND all parties are consenting, over 18 years of age individuals, it is legal.  It is great you have found this outlet. Make sure you stick to sites that require guests be of legal age so there is no question of exposing yourself to children. Also, make sure when you do this off camera, the women you involve are fully aware and desirous of their participation in your excitement. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Feature Image Credit: Real...

You want the Sims? You drive the Sims! We transported the Mayor of Culver City to the exceptionally warm confines of North Hollywood to find out just what makes your favorite lovable malcontent tick. [Hint – Jameson Irish Whiskey] Eric was kind enough to wax curmudgeonly over his favorite California Seething moments, his experience as a speaker at the Rotary Club, why Murder She Wrote is better than you think and how he was bamboozled by someone claiming to be Gore Vidal.   As if that wasn’t enough, we delve into the enigmatic debacle of After Earth, the hubris of M. Night Shyamalan, Vampire Weekend’s newest album Modern Vampires of the City and why grown men find fart jokes about The Last Airbender endlessly amusing.   Your browser does not support the audio element. Podcast Powered By Podbean   Or download it here: Pub Trivia 10 Score – 7/10. Related Articles: A major thank you to Ms. Dana Martin for recording our...

Glasgow, Scotland – Tuesday By Joshua Mauldin Science has long confirmed that nutrients in the human female is digested in the upper intestine and released as an invisible, odorless gas through tiny pours in the skin. Thus, the lower intestine and the sphincter serve no practical purpose; a vestigial, evolutionary holdover like the appendix. However, world famous cryptozoologist Edmund Hanks is challenging that assertion by claiming to have discovered an adult, female homo sapien who both defecates like a male and produces a gaseous excretion similar to the flatulence. “I’ve been tracking Bessie through the back hills of Scotland for ten years now,” said Hanks, regarding the creature he and the locals affectionately refer to as ‘Bessie’. “I believe I have finally acquired photographic and physical evidence to prove her existence.” Scientists at the University of Glasgow agree that the physical specimen provided by Hanks is indeed human, but they are unable to verify if the DNA belongs to a male or female. Sean Monaghan, the expert in charge of examining the photographic evidence, remains skeptical. “It’s possible Bessie’s a woman, she could also be an effeminate man or a hairless chimp.” Being a married man himself, Monaghan thinks Hanks’ persistence is a fool’s errand at best. “Even if we can prove that the creature in the picture is a human woman, she’ll never admit the dump was hers.” Feature Image Credit: Health &...

I’m a pretty big fan of How I Met Your Mother. The characters are fun, they utilize flashbacks, foreshadows and running jokes that play out sometimes seasons later. Plus, it helped re-launch the career of everyone’s favorite teenage doctor. It seemed to me to be such an original concept that it took me several seasons and someone else to tell me it was basically Friends in a bar instead of a coffee house. Whatever, I loved Friends too. The concept of having an end game in mind though – Meeting the Mother – is something that I really appreciate. It constantly moves the plot forward and gives us something to look forward to. So when I heard that a new show by the same creators of one of my favs was going to be a mid-season replacement on FOX, I was stoked. The Goodwin Games has another unique, end game concept. Three estranged siblings are brought together by their recently deceased dad (Beau Bridges) after they discover he’s left one of them a $23 million inheritance. The catch? They have to complete a series of games until one is somehow announced the winner. The first game is a customized version of Trivial Pursuit about the lives of the Goodwins as they grew up together.  So far, that’s taken up the first two episodes. I’m sure that once there’s a winner of this game, there will be another game and another until dead daddy is satisfied his kids have learned enough life lessons and they’ve turned into the family he’s always wished they would be. Blah blah blah None of them especially want to be there, but even by the second episode they’re all starting to realize they need to change their ways and become better people. Yet still they only stick around to beat the others out for daddy’s fortune. So that’s a conundrum. The Goodwins are comprised of: Scott Foley from Felicity fame, T.J. Miller, a comedian I’ve seen once on Chelsea Lately but probably won some kind of game show to kickstart his career and Becki Newton, best known as Barney’s ex-fiancé & stripper Quinn Garvey on How I Met Your Mother. Right now I’m going to give them maybe another two episodes before I call it quits. It’s predictable, the acting isn’t great and they’re using the same Universal back lot that How I Met Your Mother uses (also used for Gilmore Girls, I might add – I know because daughter Goodwin was sitting right there on Lorelai’s porch) without any attempt to make it look like somewhere else. That’s just annoying. I’m hoping this show will work out its first few episode hiccups and end up being good enough to make up for the fact that all the Bays/Thomas creative energy was spent realizing this concept, leaving us with a nearly unwatchable second to last season of...

1. Chopped – The McLaughlin Group Edition A very special episode of everyone’s favorite quick thinking cooking show. In this episode, John McLaughlin and 3 members of his weekly discussion panel open up their mystery baskets in an effort to please three renowned chefs using unusual food combinations in a way that doesn’t immediately make you want to vomit. Things take a unique turn when the contestants cannot come to a consensus as to the best way to open their baskets and spend the duration of air time in a heated debate about picnic etiquette and basket making.   2. The Daily Show: Guest Host Ryan Lochte If The Daily Show tends to be a tad too “political” for you, this is definitely the episode to watch. Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte will run down the latest in beer, bromance and babes with a frequent “Jeah!” to punctuate the importance of those issues. The episode will also feature a breakdown of Ryan’s daily hair maintenance!   3. Martha Stewart’s Scared Straight Martha will open her home to a group of “at risk” youths to show them the bleak reality of breaking the law. Watch their horrified faces as she forces them to create a table scape using only what is in her basement and bake a batch of cranberry sage scones using dried cranberries and powdered sage! Martha eventually breaks down herself, however, when she realizes she has run out of unpasteurized goats milk. It’s a learning experience for all involved!   4. Dance Moms Catch A Predator The long running hit show To Catch A Predator is joined by Abby and the moms, who hope to catch a creepy pedo on national television. The pairing only lasts for one episode, however, as the man they successfully netted escapes when the moms fall into a heated discussion over whose child served as the most successful bait. Of course Abby thinks they are all terrible bait and need more practice.   5. Bates Motel Impossible Veteran hotel operator Anthony Melchiorri takes on his biggest challenge to date: whipping the Bates Motel and owner Norma Bates into ship shape! He must master such tasks as creating community interest in the motel for reasons other than homicide, distance the operation from any human trafficking rings and try to keep himself and designer Blanche Garcia alive long enough to realize their redesign...

Now that somehow its cult audience has convinced God and everyone else to bring the show back (and by God I mean Hollywood, because they are God in this town), it was time for me to have a seat on the couch with an ice cream sandwich and see what all the hype was about. I was not an original Arrested Development fan. IFC started running the show at odd times here and there and I caught a few episodes. The only thing I could appreciate about it at that point was that it resurrected Jason Bateman. I love him. Turns out, AD is a well written, smart show with great acting. I really enjoyed every single episode. I can certainly see the draw of the off handed (pun intended) humor and senselessness of it. It obviously wasn’t as popular at the time or it would have lasted. It only later garnered its cult following, so why the desperate need to keep it going 10 years later? I can’t say I’m sure. Granted, I absolutely loved the episode entitled S.O.B’s where they were very blatantly pleading to save the show. That was genius. Right now everyone is buzzing about this Sunday’s Netflix release. In a way, it’s the movie everyone’s been waiting for. Fourteen episodes back-to-back to continue (complete?) the show in one giant sitting. From what we’re hearing it’s a super-sized epilogue, which might be all that fans really want. What happened to the Bluths? Which is awesome because how often do we want to know what’s happened to our favorite characters once we’ve parted with them at the end of a series? If there’s any success with this, though, does that mean more “reunion seasons” for other shows in order to give the fans what they want? Freaks and Geeks and My So Called Life are two others I can think of that fans were extremely upset to see go. MTV aired My So Called Life for years even though it was only a season long. Claire Danes and Jared Leto built their careers off that failed show. Freaks and Geeks hosted an impossible amount of talent during its short run and is still on the air thanks to IFC. Will they be next? Probably not. In fact, no. But this is an interesting precedent being set Arrested Development. Rather than take the Sex and the City path to disaster and making a movie out of it, we have the world’s first television sequel season (Futurama doesn’t count, it’s a cartoon). I’m interested to see what comes of it. I’m sure there’s the fear that it won’t live up to the audience’s outsized expectations, even if it’s just as fresh and strange as the original three seasons. There’s the very real chance it could fall flat and this will simply become a failed experiment. Especially considering that it’s exclusively on Netflix streaming. How smart is Netflix, by the way? I can imagine that their May subscriptions quadrupled over any other month in simple anticipation of this show. I guess I don’t really understand why one solitary season after a decade with no hope or promise for another or the always anticipated movie is something to get excited over. It’s like getting excited to be with the cousin you’re in love with because you just found out her mother was adopted only to be disappointed that you actually can’t be with her because she’s still considered family. Okay, maybe it’s not exactly like that, but you get my point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5ddjzGft0k Image Credit: Details...

This summer, another fast food fight will heat up and it’s not over hamburgers, but pork!  Burger King has just begun serving up a BBQ Rib Sandwich to take on the McDonald’s McRib: a sandwich so out there – it has a cult following.  Can this new BK sandwich take the crown from the McRib?  I’m already declaring the victor! The McDonald’s McRib may be one of the most mysterious, yet delicious sandwiches the restaurant has ever served up.  The McRib first went on sale nationwide in 1982 after a few months of test marketing. The sandwich consists of a pork patty, dill pickles, onion slivers, and BBQ sauce on a dusty 5 ½” roll.  The McRib was not an immediate hit and was removed from all menus in 1985.  Since 1989, it would reappear regionally for only a few select weeks of the year.  Not every McDonald’s carried the item and only in select regions of the United States.  (A rare exception was when it was briefly sold nationally in 1994 to tie into The Flintstones Movie and a McRib, Jr. was briefly sold in 2000 on a regular hamburger bun.) The limited availability of the sandwich gave it a large cult following with some McRib addicts (such as me) driving to another state to get one.  When I first moved to the New York City area, no local McDonald’s sold it, leaving me to drive to southern New Jersey or Pennsylvania. I also once got to enjoy a Double McRib, a sort of secret version, at a McDonald’s on the southern end of the Las Vegas strip. The sandwich became so popular; it was even parodied on an episode of The Simpsons and made fun of on How I Met Your Mother. A website, The McRib Locator, allows fans to track where the sandwich is being served in the United States each year. Even after a series of promotional campaigns saying they would end the sandwich, McDonald’s again serves McRibs nationwide for a few weeks each year.  It was last served in the US from December 2012 – early February 2013.  A location will serve what they have until supplies run out. Every time the sandwich is served, McDonald’s core sales increase by several percent.  People do flock to their restaurants for one.  When the McRib was offered for sale in New Zealand, it was supposed to be for a six week run to tie into the Olympic Games, but hungry fans exhausted supplies in days! Looking to cash in on the sandwich’s fame and to boost sales this summer, Burger King has introduced their own version: The Burger King Rib Sandwich. The Burger King Rib Sandwich follows the same basic build as the McRib, but with a few differences.  While both contain pork meat ground up into a boneless patty, Burger King’s seems to have a more solid consistency.  A Time magazine article has found the McRib is made with 70 different ingredients, including fillers that are also used to make athletic gym mats. McDonald’s McRib sauce is a bit spicy; where as Burger King’s sauce is a bit sweet. The pickles McDonald’s uses on their McRib are dill, where The Burger King Rib Sandwich’s are sweet. There are NO onions on the Burger King Rib Sandwich. McDonald’s uses a small hoagie style roll to serve theirs’ and the patty is rectangular, where as Burger King uses an artesian roll and their patty is circular. I hit the drive through at the Burger King near the Holland Tunnel and ordered up the value meal that includes fries or onion rings and a drink.  Both restaurants offer a small, medium, or large value meal.  I chose the medium for my dinner and the cost was $6.39, plus tax.  (Suggested price for the sandwich alone is $3.49) I could see the countdown clock behind the drive through window...

Dear Dr. Miro, When I was in a relationship with a girl for about two years the sex was not good, I mean it was OK but not great. I could get hard and perform and everything except I couldn’t cum. After a while I decided to cheat and the sex was amazing so I ended the other relationship. Then THAT sex got boring and I stopped cumming every time so I ended that one too. This keeps happening, or not happening, I guess. Does this mean I will never be able to have a meaningful relationship because I NEED great sex? I’m a 22 year-old man and feel I should be able to do this. Sincerely, Where’s The One Who Will Rock My World? Dear WTOWWRMW?, This all depends on your definition of “great sex.” If what you find makes your sexual experience amazing is being with a new person then, at this juncture in time, yes: you may have trouble finding a meaningful relationship that involves incredible sex. If getting to know someone takes the mystery and excitement out of your hot nights, and you do not want to bother figuring out how to keep things new and fresh, you may have to forgo serious couplings at this juncture. Perhaps you are not ready to have a long-term monogamous partnership. That is OK. Go with that. What is your need to have a steady girlfriend? Seeing as you are twenty-two, try enjoying yourself and not get too hung up on needing to settle down. If this problem persists six years from now, you may need to take stock of your situation. Think about what it is making your interactions boring. Are you feeling confined or distracted? It may be that you are confusing the thrill of the chase with actual desire for a person. That would make your interest wane as soon as you feel these ladies are becoming attached. Sometimes when you feel bored it is because you are boring. Other times it is because you were wrong about what you actually want. Lust & Happiness, Dr....

So much cool 2013 music is out there to be heard people. We got new Iggy & the Stooges, new Strokes, new Kid Kudi, new Ra Ra Riot, and new Tomahawk. The soundtrack for The Great Gatsby appears to not suck, and allegedly, the Vampire Weekend record that just came out is quite good (although I’ve only heard a few tracks). While you patiently wait for the new Daft Punk album to drop tomorrow, here’s a list of ten solid albums you may have missed this year. Spotify can’t make all your decisions in life, you know. ATOMS FOR PEACE “AMOK” – Atoms For Peace – AMOK Thom Yorke and Flea are in a band together? Yeah, we got it. The real surprise here is that the record kicks ass. It plays way better than Yorke’s 2006 release The Eraser, which was the impetus for this project. The songs are much more cohesive and the performances are much tighter. The beats here are blippy, big and heavy and the bass playing locks in so beautifully that all EDM artists should take note of these old rockers. The crisp Nigel Godrich-produced sound makes it feel absolutely smashing on the ears. A real treat. Radiohead still puts out great records, but I’m much more interested in seeing what the future has in store for Atoms For Peace. I hope Yorke gives this new group time to evolve into a cohesive unit.   THE JOY FORMIDABLE “WOLF’S LAW” – The Joy Formidable – Wolf’s Law Head of BBC Radio 1 George Ergatoudis recently proclaimed that “guitar music is definitely on the way back.” If The Joy Formidable, Foals, and Palma Violets is what he’s talking about, then I’m all in. Welsh alt-rock trio The Joy Formidable have been popping around promoting their records for about six years now. The bulls-eye was hit with this new release, packed with tunes that twist and turn and go all kinds of places. Nineties rock styles are highlighted but never dominate the modern sound. Singer Ritzy Bryan can’t weigh ninety pounds, but she can smash a guitar as good as Townshend or Cobain any day. Where she has them beat is she does it with big a fat grin on her face. This record makes me smile every time I put it on. Isn’t that what it’s all about, at the end of the day? Recommended tracks include “Maw Maw Song,” “The Leopard And The Lung” and “Cholla.”   FOALS “HOLY FIRE” – Foals – Holy Fire Foals bring a fire to guitar rock that I’ve not heard in awhile. This album rules from top to bottom.  The rhythmic qualities separate it from its peers. Not only does it rock, but it grooves too. This is one dance-y guitar band. I have little to say about this, except that you should check it out. So check it out. I’ll wait here. Recommended tracks include “Inhaler,” “My Number” and “Late Night.”   PALMA VIOLETS “180” – Palma Violets – 180 The Palma Violets are a good, old-fashioned rock and roll band in a lot of ways. The sound of 180 evokes classic fifties and sixties records. Think modern kids channeling Velvet Underground, re-filtered backwards in time through Eddie Cochran. I understand that might take some imagination but fuck it, just listen. The creamy B3 organs and washed out fuzz guitars of yesteryear are a welcomed inclusion to the sound of 2013, and the old-school crooner vocals are full of win. The Palma Violets were critical darlings at this years SXSW and this album justifies the hype. The songs are stellar, the production is slick and the band sounds great. Top notch debut from these newbies. Recommended tracks include “Best of Friends,” “Step Up For The Cool Cats” and “Rattlesnake Highway.”   EELS “WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS” – Eels – Wonderful, Glorious (Deluxe Edition) I feel like I’ve waited a...

So, last week I left the comfy, drought-ridden, hazy and slightly scorched confines of my Los Angeles home for the moist, green landscape and bright clean air of Seattle and other random bits of Washington State. Now, you probably think I heart Seattle. Or looove it. Or lurve it. Lurve – is that a thing? Do the kids say “lurve”? Are the kids that dumb? I mean, I know they’re dumb cause they’re The Kids and the whole purpose of the next generation is for them to be dumber than we were so we don’t feel so bad about ourselves for getting old and not understanding their music or clothes or YouTube videos or the Instagram GET OFF MY LAWN! So, yeah. They’re dumb. But dumb enough to say “lurve”? Discuss. Anyhow, like I was saying, you probably think I have a certain fondness for Seattle. And I can’t blame you for thinking that – I mean, I am a card carrying member of Generation X (the card says “card”) and I went to college during the height of the Grunge Era in the early 90s. And Seattle during the early 90s – well, hell, that was the epicenter of cool – like San Francisco in the 60s, though instead of LSD and enlightenment, we had heroin and crippling depression and instead of the Grateful Dead and Janis Joplin, we had Alice in Chains and Soundgarden and instead of The Graduate and Harold and Maude, we had Singles and Reality Bites. Wow. The early 90s were TERRIBLE! What a fucking horrible time to come of age. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was a great time for fashion. For me, anyhow. After all, a broken clock tells the right time twice a day and an unkempt, slovenly, unshowered dude is fashionable twice a millennium (the early 90s and THE ENTIRE DARK AND MIDDLE AGES). And then there was the dancing – which, during the Grunge Era was outstanding! Jumping around, slamming into each other, screaming at the top of our lungs – hell, that’s what I do when I’m taking the bus – I was a goddamn moshing natural! What a fantastic time to come of age! And then the stupid Swing Dancing craze came along and everyone started learning dances with actual steps and caring about their appearance and showering like every motherfucking day. Thanks John Favreau! Thanks Vince Vaughn! Thanks Big Bad Voodoo Daddy! Thanks for ruining everything with your suits and hats and your hair product and your dancing that requires a modicum of coordination. I’m glad you’ve all turned in to a bunch of total washouts. I hope you had fun playing the Snoqualmie Casino, Big Bad Loser Daddy. It’s right outside Seattle (CALLBACK, BITCHEZ!)! And speaking of Seattle you still probably think I like Seattle. Well, you’re wrong. Totally wrong. So wrong, in fact, that it should call into question all the other decisions you’ve made in your life. Like going to grad school for playwriting, or buying your 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom, 3 story Dream Forever Home in Las Vegas in 2006 (Interest only ARM loan? No problem! Values are just gonna go up, up, up!), or trying that thing you saw on TV where you put a full glass of wine on the mattress and then jump up and down next to it, or getting bangs (they don’t work with your face, sorry), or using your position with the IRS to go after Tea Party organizations applying for tax exempt status – that was particularly wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME but so very wrong. But awesome. Totally awesome. I mean, I have a total bureaucrat crush on the IRS right now (shhhh, don’t tell the Bureau of Labor Statistics or the ATF. They get, like, super jealous). For me, Seattle is like Mad Men – it’s beautiful to look at,...

1. The Pole Package Live audience vote-in competition to find the best exotic dancer in the country. Ex-Playboy playmate and reality television superstar Kendra Wilkinson, famed dancer turned actor Mikhail Baryshnikov and zany comedic personality Rosie O’Donnell bring multiple viewpoints and a range of show business experience to the judges’ table. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll spend $10 for a Diet Coke! Image Credit: Pole Fitness Congleton Cheshire   2. A Pole Lotta Love A concurrently airing spin-off of The Pole Package following a former/current contestant’s search for true love. Each “Soul-John” competing to win her heart will either be given a glass platform heel to advance or be bounced to the parking lot by 6’5″ human-tank Bruno. Tune in for your weekly dose of romance, adventure, and pasties! Image Credit: Made-In-China   3. Undercover Aristocrat Eat your heart out Eliza Doolittle! In this new series, each week an excessively privileged contestant will have to infiltrate a group of “average citizens” or face having to pay student loans. The bougie who most successfully convinces the commoners of their proletariat status wins their pick of cushy employment from the other contestants’ fathers. There will be bus riding! Image & Feature Credit: Jenny Lindh   4. Plaque To Basics A group of highly successful dentists compete to see who can traverse the length of the Mississippi River with only a rowboat, hockey stick and a limitless supply of Jolly Ranchers. Hosted by Gary Busey’s teeth, this high octane ride is sure to leave you chomping at the bit for more! Image Credit: Unite and Prosper   5. The Real Housewives Of St. Paul Just when you thought the drama of The Real Housewives’ franchise couldn’t be topped, they’ve done it again! The Real Housewives of St. Paul explores the tumultuous daily lives of five Twin Cities’ residents. Thrill as these reasonable human beings buy groceries, attend PTA meetings, try Zumba and contribute to church bake sales! Image Credit: CRBC...

Any tips on how I can get a raise? The 2% they’ve been giving me every year is not enough. I was looking on salary.com and it says I should be making thousands more than I am. How do I get them to pay me what I’m worth? –I Deserve More Dear More, You’ve been getting 2% every year? Wow, lucky you! Since the economy exploded a few years ago, I think it would be difficult to find many people out there who have been getting steady increases every year. I think most who are employed are grateful to have a job and most who aren’t employed just really hate you right now. Here’s a universal truth for you: EVERY employee thinks they are underpaid. Every single one. Those oil company CEOs you hear about on the news making 90 ba-zillion dollars? They want 95 ba-zillion dollars. It’s a fact of life. The difference between what an employee thinks they’re worth and what an employer thinks a job is worth is usually pretty wide. From the employee’s perspective, you are thinking about your cost of living, that new Lamborghini Aventador that looks super sexy in lime green, the fact that a freaking box of Peanut Butter Cheerios costs about five bucks, and have you seen the price of gas? Aventadors get about 2 miles to the gallon, those babies ain’t cheap. Add in the fact that, according to you, you do an awesome job, you are on time every day (mostly), get all of your work done, you are the epitome of the good employee. So yes, you deserve a raise, goddammit. And not one of those Cost of Living trifles, a real, honest to goodness raise. Something that, when you get your next paycheck, you’ll actually notice it’s higher. You know, one of those fancy types of raises. From the employer’s perspective- they have thought a lot about what you are worth to them. They probably have a whole person in the HR Department who just sits around figuring out what people should get paid. What a company decides to pay employees is like any marketplace. It’s like buying a Lamborghini Aventador, let’s say. You want a lime green one but you don’t want to pay too much for it. Turns out, everyone else wants the lime green one, so to procure your snazzy new supercar, you might get into a bidding war, or you might have to pay full price at the dealership. But who knows, maybe you’ll find one cheap on Craigslist. Companies are the same way, they want the best employees to fill their positions and they don’t want to pay too much for them. They do research, invest in trusted salary surveys, create salary grades, and do all sorts of boring things that lead them to only giving you 2% a year. There are all sorts of math, charts, theories, and power point presentations behind that 2%. You’d be amazed. So, you want tips? Here are some tips: Do research. Salary.com is evil, and I’m not just saying that cuz I’m a mean old HR hag who sucks the joy out of life and wants to make sure no one in the world makes the salary they deserve. While some of that may be true, everyone should understand that the data on salary.com is not always good data. Compensation data collection is a bit of a science that involves benchmarking job duties, factoring in things like experience, industry, geography, trends, etc. A lot of comp professionals think that salary.com data still includes information from the tech boom (wasn’t that like, 100 years ago now? I find this dubious, but I still hear that theory a lot). It’s kind of like when you are watching Pawn Stars (theoretically) and some dude is trying to sell the storm trooper helmet he made from scratch out of...

I read about two hours of tech news a day, all from various sources. Some are geared to alert consumers about new products coming to market, some are more business oriented (startups, acquisitions, etc.), and some of the stuff I read veers into the dark trenches of R&D. So deep your mind probably can’t handle it. Technology, science and discovery are moving at such a rapid pace that fifty years from now, 90% of what we know won’t resemble anything we know today. I’ll let that marinate with you for a second. This week I’ve decided to bring you a ton of random information about this past week in technology and serve it up in no logical order or interrelation between topics. I call this Technolog-A.D.D. 1. AT&T is sending HTC back their Facebook phone because no one’s buying it. I feel like an asshole here because I should’ve called it in my review of Facebook Home.  But yes, it’s true. Just four short weeks after HTC revealed their First Facebook Phone, which included Facebook Home as its native OS, sales were so slow the price dropped to $0.99. One week later, it’s DONE. People have said this could be due to the fact that AT&T sales reps hated it, but also because Samsung and Apple are taking over the world. Go figure. 2. Somebody 3-D printed a gun and shot it without exploding their head off. First of all, this guy is a total freakin’ idiot. I, personally, would’ve loved to have seen the entire barrel combust in his hands and blow his face off. Unfortunately, it fired without doing any fun damage to the dummy. Don’t get all upset though, as the same thing could be made with a piece of metal tubing, a spring or rubberband, and a nail. So no, 3D printers don’t kill people. People kill people, and unfortunately TERRIBLE ideas don’t always kill the people who attempt to execute them. But look forward to the fun legislation and press this shit is gonna get now! Also, it should be noted that if this boy had blown any body parts off, he could conveniently just 3D print himself some bionic ones to slap right back on and get back to his gunsmithing. I just bought my own 3D printer so I could make myself an invisibility cloak. That way you can’t even see me to shoot me. I can smack you upside the head and you’ll have no idea WTF hit you. 3. It has been proven once again that the only reason our energy isn’t sustainable is because of politics. Twenty years ago, second graders were inventing water-powered automobiles at their school science fairs. If America could sacrifice a few miles of tourist beach, wave power could fuel the entire country. Soccer balls have been invented which, after being kicked around for a day, can light an entire home for the duration of an evening. Now a device has come to market which harvests ambient vibrations and converts them into energy. Seriously! It makes power just by freaking sitting there!!! Somebody, please, give these people a million, bajillion dollars and the keys to the city. If it weren’t for bringing down what’s left of the economy as we know it, we’d all be driving flying cars powered by our trash and the energy created when we blink our freakin’ eyes. 4. A tablet designed for the zombie apocalypse is headed to market Sqigle has designed a ruggedized tablet which surpasses anything in its class by ensuring that you can still use this thing if you’re the last person on the face of the planet. They’re using e-paper, Android, a 20 hour battery and solar powered recharging, plus an ANT+ sensor to make sure that you can get around when the zombies have taken everyone else out. Oh, also, there’s a carabiner attached. But seriously, this thing...

Dear Dr. Miro, How come when I’m having sex it sometimes feels like I have to pee and it’s not from G-Spot stimulation? I’m looking at biology books and can’t figure out how the urethra is connected to sexual arousal but it must be because it’s right there and sometimes when I hold it in for a long time I can actually have an orgasm! Please explain. Sincerely, Full Bladder Bertie Dear FBB, The urethra and the bladder are squished in there with all of your sexual organs. When you get turned on, there is a lot of swelling. In males it is obvious because you see the penis become tumescent, or erect. In females it is not as obvious but they have erectile tissue too! Not only can you see the labia majora and minora lips become puffier and darker as the clitoris becomes engorged and swollen but what you are not seeing is the majority of the clitoris “underground” below the lips. Other organs begin to enlarge and shift as well. While this is happening, the urethra gets a bit pushed upon because of all the moving around. If you are engaging in penetrative sex, things are getting even more mashed together so it would make sense that there is less room for your urine. In fact, the G-Spot, which is in between the vaginal wall and the urethral sponge, is getting stimulated by all the pressure coming at it from a multitude of directions. There are a lot of people who liken having an orgasm to the release of urinating or sneezing. That moment when there is no control and it is all about giving in to the bodily needs and desires can be highly erotic. There are many examples of folks who get off on sneezing. Also, I have heard quite a few stories from women who learned how to self-pleasure, as girls, by rubbing against their beds with full bladders. But try not to do that so much as the holding in of urine may result in other issues such as urinary tract or bladder infections. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit:...

I’ve been thinking about my career path lately and realized that delivering papers was one of my favorite jobs. It was so easy. I could work, sing along to my cassette walkman and get exercise all at the same time. I delivered the news around the neighborhood for three years, it was the second longest job of my life. Do you remember your first...

The Statue of Liberty has been standing guard at the mouth of New York harbor since her dedication on October 28, 1886.  She is a symbol of welcome to immigrants arriving to the United States.  She has been closed for six months due to damage from Superstorm Sandy.  However, one part of her structure has been sealed off to visitors after a terror attack nearly a century ago. Given as a gift from the people of France, Lady Liberty was designed and constructed by artist Frederic Bartholdi.  Completed in stages, parts of the new statue were displayed in both France, New York, and at international expositions before being crated up and shipped to the US.  Once the appropriate funds were raised, she was assembled on what was then called Bedloe’s Island, now known as Liberty Island. The statue, representing the Roman goddess of freedom, features one foot moving forward to symbolize progress and a broken chair at her feet.  She holds a tablet with the inscription July 4, 1776, the date of American independence from the British. New York City held its first ticker tape parade to celebrate that statue’s completion with President Grover Cleveland on hand for the festivities and dedication. The statue has welcomed millions of visitors over the years.  When the statue reopens, visitors will once again be able to climb the long spiral staircase to the crown and take a peek out the windows high above the harbor for spectacular views of New York City and the busy waterway. But, there was once another part of the statue visitors were permitted to tour, until a terror attack that occurred in 1916 known as “The Black Tom Explosion.” Black Tom was once an island in the New York Harbor located a short distance from the Statue of Liberty.  The island was connected to the mainland Jersey City, New Jersey by a long causeway and railroad track.  Eventually, the area between the mainland and island was filled in and officially became part of the city.  A huge pier and warehouses were also constructed on the site. The island became a major munitions depot where American companies were able to sell weapons and ammunitions, which were in large demand across the Atlantic for the upcoming World War I.  Being allied with France and Britain, they were the only two countries allowed to make purchases from the depot. After midnight on July 30, 1916, several small fires were discovered on the pier.  While some locals tried to extinguish the flames themselves, the Jersey City Fire Department was called in. At 2:08am, a major explosion took place with residents being shaken from their beds by earthquake like vibrations that registered between 5.0 and 5.5 on the Richter Scale. The force was so powerful, that windows were blown out all over Manhattan and as far as 25 miles away.  The Brooklyn Bridge was shaken, but undamaged.  The outer wall of Jersey City’s City Hall was cracked and a large clock in the Journal Square neighborhood over a mile away was hit and damaged. The noise and vibration could be felt as far away as Maryland and Connecticut. On Ellis Island, frightened immigrants that were being processed at the time were evacuated by ferry to Manhattan. The Statue of Liberty took $100,000 in damage after shrapnel pierced many parts, including several pieces that lodged in the arm.  As a result the torch, outer walkway, and arm were permanently closed.   The narrow hatchway inside that once welcomed visitors is still gated off to the public, but does allow access for employees to conduct repairs. According to historic records and government investigations, the munitions were set on fire by the Germans, who did not want the weapons to make it across the Atlantic due to a military blockade. Several different conclusions have been drawn as to how the fire was carried out, with one...

Most, if not all of our parents are what we might consider “technologically challenged.” Instead of holding it against them, think about how you’re going to feel in 30 years when cars are flying themselves and a breakfast resembling a bullion cube is handed to us by your apron-wearing robot maid and then take the time to reach out to your mom this Mother’s Day. Let’s begin to bridge the gap with a few nifty gadget gift ideas. Present them sensitively enough and you might even see some progress. So without further ado, here’s a list of cool shit you can get your mom to amaze her and make her life a little easier while getting her toes wet in some new fangled technology. Roku Streaming Video Player -$49-$99 It was a huge success last Black Friday when you got your parents to finally invest in their first flat screen, and they only did it because their old TV went out the week before and the quote for repairs came in higher than the $295 46″ Vizio steal at Target. While you were waiting outside for the doors to open at 4am, you skillfully planned your presentation to them, tried to anticipate any oppositional quips they might have as you read over the installation manual PDF on your smart phone so that you’d be able to sneak into their house while they were at church two days later and have that thing fully installed by the time they came rolling in from brunch. Needless to say, it was a huge effort. Now that they’re just settling down into (and- gasp! maybe beginning to enjoy) their new television, you once again fear that they will be falling behind without a source of streaming video in their lives. Can you IMAGINE ever trying to explain to them why they need a Smart TV? That’s where Roku comes in. This bad boy can be installed in less than 3 minutes, and assuming your parents aren’t on dial up, it will allow them to access all kinds of streaming video services from Netflix to Hulu and Amazon yadayadayada. I’ve seen (13 minutes of) HOUSE OF CARDS. Trust me. Your parents want to be watching it.   Brookstone Iceless Wine Chiller- $74.99 Here’s one way to blow your mom’s mind. This thing has an LED display which allows you to indicate one of forty different types of wine. It then programs itself to either chill or warm the bottle based on the optimal serving temperature. Tell me that’s not rad. If you really want to look like a smarty pants, you can tell them that it uses the Peltier (careful here- say it with me- PELL-TEE-AYYY) effect. This little sucker is considered a phenomenon which was discovered about 200 years ago. Basically what happens is you take two different types of conductors and shoot some electricity through there. By messing around with the direction of the flow of electricity, when you overlap the two conductors you can make them either absorb (seriously) or release heat. Crazy right? This thing just sucks the heat right out of itself therein cooling the air around the bottle of wine. Nothin’ like making your momma proud of your knowledge of thermoelectric energy!   Travel Luggage Scale- $39.99 Maybe this one just reminds me of my mom shrieking from across the house on nights before a morning flight,  “SHELLY! GET THE SCALE!”. So I’d come running across the house with the scale knowing she was about to make me stand  on it, weigh myself, grab her luggage, weigh myself again and then subtract to find out how heavy her luggage is to ensure she wouldn’t run into any overweight bag fees at the airport the next morning. By the time I was 22 I could tell a 47lb piece of luggage from a 52lb piece in my sleep. So this gift is really...

If you haven’t already started watching BATES MOTEL, you should do it. Now. The season is probably halfway over or more at this point, so there’s some catching up to do. Eight shows in fact. You need cable to catch it. A&E. You might be a little apprehensive because it’s a prequel to a movie made over forty years ago based on a novel based on a real life serial killer…set in 2013. If you’re anything like me, you’re picky about the details in a show – especially a show that has a history based in something else (like a show/movie/book/etc.), and if they don’t get it right, then they better make it really freaking good. This show is. Both. Freddie Highmore – who you might recognize as the adorable August Rush, or Charlie from the Tim Burton rendition of the Chocolate Factory — is the only kid on the planet who could play Norman Bates. He’s incredible in this kind of shy, nice guy, creepy, mama’s boy role. You like him. You really do – even though you know that later in life he’s going to be a total–well, psycho. You root for him to get away from his mother’s influence, and to win over one of the two girls who seem to want his attention. But at the same time you can just tell there’s something wrong with him. In fact, in episode 6 you realize there’s something really really wrong with him. But we’re not sure what yet, or why. Suspense! His Mother Norma, Vera Farmiga (hot!), makes you like her, then hate her, then sympathize with her, then hate her, then understand her, then hate her, then pity her, then empathize with her and almost trust her, then hate her some more. She’s really got the overbearing, co-dependent thing down. But you’re not really sure if it’s even her fault, or if she’s the way she is because of the way Norman is. It’s complicated. You’ll see. There are other people in the cast, too: a second son – brother to Norman; and a deputy sherriff one tends to confuse with the second son at times, they look so similar. This adds a weird element to the mama’s boy angle of things considering Norma beds the sheriff by episode 2. There’s also the two love interests for Norman; a dead guy; another dead guy; an Asian sex slave; and the town sheriff who totally has it out for Norma. (She kind of killed his best friend in the first episode.) The town itself is its own kind of character – very much a small town that takes care of its own. Everyone has a secret of some kind or is involved in something seedy. The town members also practice an Old Testament kind of law. In the first episode, a mill owner is killed when his mill burns down. Rather than prosecute, the town holds a public body burning of the suspected arsonist. Then there are the drugs. Every good small town needs a mary jane field to compensate for the high rate of unemployment these days. Each episode is suspenseful and mysterious, sometimes violent. And isn’t that really what makes good TV anymore? In all honesty, I haven’t been shocked by television in a very long time. And I watch a lot of the stuff. When the first episode aired, I was a little overwhelmed by the brutal and violent rape scene that happens in the first 20 minutes of this show – it doesn’t hold back on the detail. So if you can’t handle that sort of thing, jump ahead on the DVR and keep going. Don’t let your sensitive stomach keep you from what ends up being a show worth getting hooked...

Dear Dr. Miro, Do men who watch sadistic and degrading porn tend to have these desires? I found some pretty awful stuff on my boyfriend’s history stream and now I’m worried he’s really warped in ways that could be illegal. Not that it’s anything really illegal to look at (like kids or animals) but, seriously, intense stuff. Sincerely, Not Exactly Vanilla   Dear NEV, Some men who watch sadistic and degrading porn want those desires enacted in real life, but for the majority of people, NO. Whatever someone enjoys experiencing in fantasy world is usually just that: FANTASY. That is what is so wonderful about human beings–the ability to use our imaginations in all sorts of manners. You can do anything you want, as anyone you can think of, with or with out anybody else. Fantasy Desires are amazing because they allow our imaginations to run wild without hurting or interfering with anyone else. In fact, the ability to act out things in our imaginations is quite beneficial toward preventing warped illegalities in real life. Enjoying these darker recesses of ours minds gives an outlet to otherwise possibly hurtful situations. So, getting these desires out in Porno Land, in the safe confines of his home, is not a problem. If you are uncomfortable with these scenarios, examine that. Has he ever brought up a need to enact any of what you saw in his history? Figure out what it is that is triggering you as well as why it is you feel the need to check his history. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro   featured image...