Cheating Man Child! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, Why does a man have to cheat to make himself feel secure? I keep dating these guys who HAVE to go screw other women in order for them to feel OK. The way they have worded it, after I catch them, makes sense but then I step away and I realize it’s a load of bulls**t. Sincerely, Hurt Too Many Times Dear HTMT, First off, no one has to cheat to make his or herself secure. Feeling good about yourself is something that comes from with in. No amount of extra curricular sexcapades will increase a person’s self worth. Sounds like you have been with a few too many insecure jerks. Not that I like to put a negative label on anything but, smooth talking boys and girls who claim they need to lie and cheat are just not the type of people you need to be around. What is it that keeps you going into relationships with fellows who not only feel crappy about themselves but insist on being unfaithful? I am definitely NOT blaming you for these dalliances outside of your couplings but I think it is important to notice patterns. If the same thing keeps happening and the only constant is you, then that is who needs to make adjustments. Most men and women have old stories from childhood. These tend to play out in their adult relations. This could be connected to how you interacted with males as a kid or even how you saw men and women relating to each other around you. There are so many ways to look at this but mainly, I want you to take a step back and think about what it is you are trying to get from these “men”. Are they really going to be able to provide what you desire? Maybe you feel insecure, as well, and part of you does not yet feel worthy of being with someone who will devote himself to you and you alone. Essentially, any man who has to cheat on another person to feel better is not really a man, yet. The same holds true for women. If a person wants to have a lot of different experiences, they should. But, not at the expense of another person’s heart. This is where maturity and honesty come in to play. Figure out what you are looking for. It is out there. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit:...

Alcohol & Mature Sperm! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, Although my man never drank excessively, he quit alcohol about 3 weeks ago. How long does it take for his sperm to not be effected? We want to make a healthy baby. Sincerely, Ready & Waiting Dear R&W, Since it takes between two to three months for sperm to fully mature, I would give yourselves that for fresh, never tasted alcohol, swimmers. However, keep in mind that many intoxicated folks have made babies – healthy ones, even. It is true that extreme drinking (or any other excessive behavior) may lead to fetal complications so be aware of other factors in your lives. Eat right, drink (non-alcoholic) fluids, get sleep and avoid stress as much as possible. ONE glass of wine or beer after dinner is not going to greatly hinder sperm’s production or motility. Also, and very importantly, have as much sex with each other as possible! Making healthy babies can be a lot of fun. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit: Chris...

OH O – Where Are You? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm. My boyfriend noticed after sex I still want more and my clitoris isn’t sensitive so I’m not coming, right? And, he’s very insecure because he feels like he hasn’t done his job in making me come. He does everything he can but I feel like it’s me… Like I just can’t and I don’t even know what that feeling is supposed to feel like. I’ve asked him for more foreplay and to last longer – he does but I don’t think there is anything he can do. I’m really attracted to him and wonder what’s wrong with me. What are your suggestions into how to have an orgasm and is there anything I can do to have one? Sincerely, Searching 4 My Orgasm Dear S4MO, Aw, the elusive orgasm – you would KNOW if you had one – or perhaps not. There more than likely is nothing wrong with you. I suggest figuring out what makes you tingle *the most* by investing in a few sex toys. Start out small with something you can vibrate on your clitoris and work up to “insertables”. A classic simple vibe can be a Bullet or you can find something in the shape of anything you want from a to . Do not let him take all the credit for “making you come”. This is something for you to investigate on your own. Sure it would be delightful if your partner knew exactly where to touch you in ways you could never imagine making you shudder to your very core but he is going to need some help. Practice a bit on your own so there is not as much fumbling while getting all squelchy with your man. Keep in mind there are different positions for different bodies. You may not be able to have a Big O in Doggy Style but jump on like a Cowgirl and you could be good to go. In fact, I want you to try that Cowgirl position in which you are on top and facing him as he lies down. This way you can control the speed, depth and everything else during penetration. Your clitoris will get a lot of stimulation this way, too! If the right parts of your anatomy are not getting the rubbing they need, it doesn’t matter how long your fellow lasts. Nothing is going to happen besides frustration and eventual soreness. Another piece of this is to get you both to stop blaming your selves. You will have an orgasm someday. Hopefully, it will be with him but if it is not, that is OK, too. It is not his fault. This does NOT reflect on your desire for him. Change up your sexual repertoire with the Cowgirl position and appreciating the journey instead of trying to catch this mysterious, thought-to-be-out-of-reach Orgasm. Lust & Happiness, Dr....

Do Thin Condoms Break Easier? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro: My man has a hard time staying, well, hard with regular condoms and likes using the thinner ones but I’m worried they won’t be as strong and maybe break on us? Is this true? I’ve had condoms break in the past and it was TERRIBLE! Sincerely, Helpless For His Hard On   Dear HFHHO, Regardless of how thin a condom may be, it must pass the same rigorous tests as all of the other ones set down by the U.S. Food And Drug Administration. The ultra-thin condoms may be easier to tear with jewelry or raggedy nails so watch out for that but as far as the usual (or unusual) thrusts and explosions, the thinner prophylactics will be as effective as their thicker colleagues. In fact, there are such high standards for testing the strength, packaging integrity, leakiness, stretch capabilities and quality of lubricant, it is incredibly rare condom breakage is due to manufacturers, no matter where they are made – it is almost always user error. Here are some ways to avoid being one of the “user error” statistics: – Use before expiration. That date is NOT arbitrary and is there for a reason. – Use a properly fitted condom. Yes, there are different sizes – try a few out in different brands and sizes to see what fits! – Do not use condoms that have been exposed to extreme temperatures or have been in direct sunlight. Keep them off your windowsill and out of the laundry. – Do NOT reuse. This is not the time to be green. – The package should be sealed with no holes. You can find out by feeling for an air pocket. If it is, proceed. If it is not – get another condom. – Stick with water or silicon based lubricants (as opposed to oil based) to maintain the integrity of both the condom and you. If you see a lube next to where food is displayed, you cannot use that with condoms. – Use a lot of lubricant that is specifically made to be used with condoms – especially with anal sex. The less friction, the less likelihood of it breaking. Plus, it just feels better! Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit: The Real...

High Altitude Sperm Production! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I travel a lot. My wife and I are trying to have a baby. I heard that sperm production is reduced at high altitudes. Will my frequent flying affect our chances? I know I could Google this but I prefer your answers. Sincerely, Guy In The Sky   Dear GITS, Studies have shown sperm production reduces at high altitudes but then, it returns after being at sea level for a bit. What folks experience at high altitudes that more likely effects sperm production and motility is the lack of oxygen. As long as the plane you are on has proper air levels you should be fine. The other thing to look out for is that sitting on your testicles (where your sperm is manufactured) can have a negative effect on baby making. Men in sedentary jobs like taxi drivers or office workers, tend to have more fertility issues. By sitting for long hours on an airplane, you may have more difficulty conceiving than had you been sitting by the ocean. If there are not conscious efforts made to get up and let those boys swing free, yes, you could be interfering. Also, stress levels affect sperm count. If your constant traveling is stressing out you or your wife, that is something to look into as well. To make lots of healthy sperm there may have to be some life style changes. Avoid skinny jeans, alcohol, tobacco and those other drugs like marijuana and amphetamines. Increase exercise, fruits and vegetables and get some sleep. This will all give you more energy for the best part of babies: the making of! Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro   featured image...

Stop Thinking And F Me! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, My boyfriend and I have been together five years. We recently attempted to engage in intercourse. While doing foreplay, we try and do everything to each other: all the needs are satisfied and he has a nice erection but when it comes to having sex he becomes flaccid due to nervousness and having thoughts of getting me pregnant. Of course he wears condoms but still he gets the thoughts. We tried everything. I know there’s nothing wrong with his penis. It’s just the thoughts he gets messes up the whole mood. This is really frustrating both of us. What can we do to erase the thoughts out of his head so he lasts? Sincerely, Need Him Hard Dear NHH, Of course this is incredibly frustrating for both of you! I am happy you are wearing condoms, engaging in foreplay and all of that but, as you have been experiencing, something is still in the way. Those pesky thoughts can be such a nuisance! The technical term is Cognitive Dissonance. It is when you cannot quiet the chatter in your mind and it distracts you from other pursuits. In this instance, the pursuit is his ability to maintain an erection. The tricky part of all this is the more you focus on the problem, the worst it gets. He will be worried about his inability to perform and you will be just waiting for it to happen. Try to cut this cycle of self fulfilling prophecy by becoming more fascinated in the moment. The outcome needs to go on the back burner for a bit. Engage in non-goal oriented sex. I will not suggest any methods for thought or mind erasure. However, I will recommend a technique for re-focusing thoughts on the present tense. Take turns talking in a descriptive manner about what is going on while you two are getting sexy. Describe the smells, tastes, movements, girths, fluids and more out loud. Focus on what is actually going on. By tuning in to what is actually in front of you, most of those distracting thoughts will not have room right then. At a moment when you are not being sexual, talk out what exactly he is afraid of in regards to getting pregnant. Acknowledging it can be a scary thing and then focusing on the reality of your situation may take some of his fear away. He may have had some sketchy experiences in the past that are coming up and presenting in your bedroom. Try to eliminate all goals while being sexual other than feeling pleasure and see what unfolds. Lust & Happiness, Dr....

Player Gets Played! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I’m way open to all my sexual partners about not wanting to be monogamous and wanting to have fun. Be a Player. This should set the place up for honesty, right? But, just the other day I find out that one of my Girls has been seeing this dude & not telling me. I asked her about it & she shut me down saying, “We are not having this conversation!” What? What happened to communication? This guy’s a friend and now things are not cool. Sincerely, Feeling Betrayed Dear FB, It feels terrible to get shut down and experience betrayal on any level. That you are honest and open to your sexual partners about “Being a Player” is somewhat fantastic. Do you tell all of your sexual partners exactly who you are seeing and when? I am unsure as to how deep you actually go with this particular Girl. Had you, in fact, set the stage for open dialogue or did you simply mumble something about not wanting to be monogamous so you would not “get in trouble” when news of your dalliances spread? Just because you tell someone you are not dedicating all of your time to him or her in the sexual arena does not mean they will simply wait for your return or be happy about it. Were there clear parameters? For example: no sleeping with mutual friends could top the list. Consider this a learning experience in which you begin to more clearly define what you want to get and give in the context of a relationship. Also, have a conversation with your friend, the guy, so you can clear the air. Since you had no desire to maintain a monogamous partnership, examine why “things are not cool.” Maybe you are not as free spirited as you believe. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit: La...

Cam Wank! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I love masturbating for women while being degraded. The problem is trying to find women to do it in front of. I recently discovered a website where you can broadcast yourself and if you’re lucky, you’ll find someone who wants to watch you jerk off. My question is, is this legal? Do I have anything to worry about? Sincerely, Love To Show & Blow Dear LTS&B, As long as you are displaying yourself in situations where everyone is on board with your actions, things are fine. There are quite a few websites for ADULTS ONLY where you can do this. Since there is no money exchanged AND all parties are consenting, over 18 years of age individuals, it is legal.  It is great you have found this outlet. Make sure you stick to sites that require guests be of legal age so there is no question of exposing yourself to children. Also, make sure when you do this off camera, the women you involve are fully aware and desirous of their participation in your excitement. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Feature Image Credit: Real...

Double Standard!! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I REALLY like this boy, let’s call him “Y”. Every time we hang it’s INCREDIBLE! Y makes me so turned on but he refuses to say what our status is. I ask point blank, “Are we exclusive or are we friends with benefits” but he never gives a straight answer. THEN, I find out Y is dating other girls so I thought, “that is my answer.” I went out with some friends, met this other boy (let’s call him “F”) and we got pretty close. My friend posted a picture of us snuggling on her bed and now Y won’t return any of my texts. I know he saw the picture but really?! I can make-out with guys if he can be with other girls, right? I still want to be with Y but it feels like a double standard and something doesn’t feel right. What do I do? I would be exclusive with him if he would be with me but why should I bother saving myself for someone who can’t give me a straight answer? Sincerely, Annoyed & Lusting Dear A&L, If what you want is an adult relationship, you will need someone with whom you can communicate. I am happy you were able to have a delicious experience with “Y” but it seems he wants to play childish games. Do not be sucked into this double standard he insists upon. You get to do whatever you want with whomever you want until specific boundaries are established. Even then, those boundaries will be YOURS so you will still get to do what you want within the parameters YOU have set for yourself and the lucky object(s) of your affection. You know exactly what is going on. Your instincts have guided you correctly. If what you want is confirmation from me then you have it. Do not “bother saving yourself for someone who can’t give you a straight answer.” Always listen to that gut feeling because when something feels wrong, it usually is. Do NOT allow him to interfere with your intuition. Pay attention to what feels authentic. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Feature Image Credit: Men’s...

Meaningful VS Boring Sex! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, When I was in a relationship with a girl for about two years the sex was not good, I mean it was OK but not great. I could get hard and perform and everything except I couldn’t cum. After a while I decided to cheat and the sex was amazing so I ended the other relationship. Then THAT sex got boring and I stopped cumming every time so I ended that one too. This keeps happening, or not happening, I guess. Does this mean I will never be able to have a meaningful relationship because I NEED great sex? I’m a 22 year-old man and feel I should be able to do this. Sincerely, Where’s The One Who Will Rock My World? Dear WTOWWRMW?, This all depends on your definition of “great sex.” If what you find makes your sexual experience amazing is being with a new person then, at this juncture in time, yes: you may have trouble finding a meaningful relationship that involves incredible sex. If getting to know someone takes the mystery and excitement out of your hot nights, and you do not want to bother figuring out how to keep things new and fresh, you may have to forgo serious couplings at this juncture. Perhaps you are not ready to have a long-term monogamous partnership. That is OK. Go with that. What is your need to have a steady girlfriend? Seeing as you are twenty-two, try enjoying yourself and not get too hung up on needing to settle down. If this problem persists six years from now, you may need to take stock of your situation. Think about what it is making your interactions boring. Are you feeling confined or distracted? It may be that you are confusing the thrill of the chase with actual desire for a person. That would make your interest wane as soon as you feel these ladies are becoming attached. Sometimes when you feel bored it is because you are boring. Other times it is because you were wrong about what you actually want. Lust & Happiness, Dr....

Urethral Orgasm? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, How come when I’m having sex it sometimes feels like I have to pee and it’s not from G-Spot stimulation? I’m looking at biology books and can’t figure out how the urethra is connected to sexual arousal but it must be because it’s right there and sometimes when I hold it in for a long time I can actually have an orgasm! Please explain. Sincerely, Full Bladder Bertie Dear FBB, The urethra and the bladder are squished in there with all of your sexual organs. When you get turned on, there is a lot of swelling. In males it is obvious because you see the penis become tumescent, or erect. In females it is not as obvious but they have erectile tissue too! Not only can you see the labia majora and minora lips become puffier and darker as the clitoris becomes engorged and swollen but what you are not seeing is the majority of the clitoris “underground” below the lips. Other organs begin to enlarge and shift as well. While this is happening, the urethra gets a bit pushed upon because of all the moving around. If you are engaging in penetrative sex, things are getting even more mashed together so it would make sense that there is less room for your urine. In fact, the G-Spot, which is in between the vaginal wall and the urethral sponge, is getting stimulated by all the pressure coming at it from a multitude of directions. There are a lot of people who liken having an orgasm to the release of urinating or sneezing. That moment when there is no control and it is all about giving in to the bodily needs and desires can be highly erotic. There are many examples of folks who get off on sneezing. Also, I have heard quite a few stories from women who learned how to self-pleasure, as girls, by rubbing against their beds with full bladders. But try not to do that so much as the holding in of urine may result in other issues such as urinary tract or bladder infections. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro Image Credit:...

Sadistic Sammy! [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, Do men who watch sadistic and degrading porn tend to have these desires? I found some pretty awful stuff on my boyfriend’s history stream and now I’m worried he’s really warped in ways that could be illegal. Not that it’s anything really illegal to look at (like kids or animals) but, seriously, intense stuff. Sincerely, Not Exactly Vanilla   Dear NEV, Some men who watch sadistic and degrading porn want those desires enacted in real life, but for the majority of people, NO. Whatever someone enjoys experiencing in fantasy world is usually just that: FANTASY. That is what is so wonderful about human beings–the ability to use our imaginations in all sorts of manners. You can do anything you want, as anyone you can think of, with or with out anybody else. Fantasy Desires are amazing because they allow our imaginations to run wild without hurting or interfering with anyone else. In fact, the ability to act out things in our imaginations is quite beneficial toward preventing warped illegalities in real life. Enjoying these darker recesses of ours minds gives an outlet to otherwise possibly hurtful situations. So, getting these desires out in Porno Land, in the safe confines of his home, is not a problem. If you are uncomfortable with these scenarios, examine that. Has he ever brought up a need to enact any of what you saw in his history? Figure out what it is that is triggering you as well as why it is you feel the need to check his history. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro   featured image...

Touching the Yeti? [Ask Dr. Miro: What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro, I feel very insecure. I’m on the hairy side, so when interacting with my partners (sexually) I don’t let them touch me how they want to touch me or how I’d otherwise want to be touched. I don’t want to gross them out, but I also want to feel good, so I don’t know what to do. Sincerely, Sad Yeti Dear SY, You have a few options: First is hair removal. If your body hair is interfering with your quality of life, do something about it! From permanent solutions like laser hair removal to mere shaving, there are many options for all genders and body parts. The second option is to accept what your body does, more or less – and in your case, sweet Sad Yeti, it is more. Everyone’s body is different. We are like snowflakes in our delightful individuality! From hairless Porn Stars to burly Bears covered in furry mysteries, there are so many visual flavors. If it has been with you for an extended period of time, removing hair can sometimes feel like a removal of self or history. See what works for you. After viewing most media, one would think we are all supposed to be these hairless, odorless, fat and cellulite free creatures. This is just not realistic. Our differences are what make us sexy, unique humans. What is important is how we feel. Adult humans are supposed to have some hair on them. That does not mean it is wrong to remove it all or to have an excess. Again, we are all different. You may find out that your sexual partners are already aware of your hirsute situation and may be attracted to that. However you decide to prune your tresses and hedges is up to you and how YOU feel most comfortable. After all, it is about learning to feel good in YOUR OWN body. Lust & Happiness, Dr. Miro featured image...