Conventional wisdom has it that Thanksgiving is the one day where family and friends reunite, reconnect, and relapse over a grocery-store-bought feast of turkey, stuffing and wine. Football is watched. Happy tears are shed. Everlasting memories are made. Balderdash. Come on, admit it, if I put a gun to your head, would you be able to give me ten specific (not to even mention, beloved) Thanksgiving Day memories? What’s that, you say? The many years of chewing on dried turkey, hearing the same dull stories and watching the interminable parades and bad football games have melded together in the same way Aunt Jane’s viscid, feldgrau-colored gravy slithered into the cranberry sauce on your plate last Thanksgiving to create a ichorous blob of food that looked like the bloody brown mucus goo that was leaking out of your nephew Timmy’s nose at the kids table? Well, then, in that case, how about ten Black Friday memories? Ahhh. Now that’s easy. Without any prompting you rattle off a host of fond recollections… … Delicious cold turkey sandwiches (so much better than the dry, hot turkey slices of the previous night)…The entire family going to see the latest Disney, James Bond, Harry Potter or Twilight movie…Dad somehow getting that perfect parking space right in front of the mall’s entrance….Mom buying the very last Cabbage Patch doll…and the sales…oh, the sales… Now those are the memories for which ink is laid upon the Hallmark Card. According to Wikipedia, the term “Black Friday” was originally coined to describe the great stock market crash of 1869. “Black Friday” gained traction as the nom de plume for the day after Thanksgiving (and unofficial start of the Christmas shopping season) in 1969 when the Philadelphia police used the term to describe the...

Fierce Anticipation’s 1st Annual Macabre, Morbid, Miserly, and somewhat Murderous Christmas Reading List of 22 Books Selected at Random by Me, Ryan Dixon Need a gift for that not-so-special someone? Read on to discover the perfectly inappropraite book for every Christmas occasion after the gallery… For those who’d rather eat a reindeer than ride one: How to Cook a Reindeer by Laila Spik For those who’d rather eat a human than a ham: I Ate Billy on Christmas by Roman Dirge For those looking for a legitimate reason NOT to buy anyone presents: Scroogenomics: Why You Shouldn’t Buy Presents for the Holidays by Joel Waldfogel For those who aren’t already bored enough by Prairie Hometown Companion: A Christmas Blizzard by Garrison Keillor For those looking for re-confirmation that Texas is the worst state in the Union (especially at Christmastime): Tinsel: A Search for America’s Christmas Present by Hank Stuever For those who are closeted, Christmas loving Jews: Sex, God, Christmas and the Jews by Gil Mann For those plotting a family member’s murder during the holiday: Murder for Christmas: 26 Tales of Yuletide Malice edited by Thomas Godfrey For those who ate too much bread pudding: The Bathroom Book of Christmas Trivia edited by Lisa Wojina For those getting a PhD in Christmas Studies: The Battle for Christmas by Stephen Nissenbaum For those getting a PhD in Christmas Studies with a focus on the semiotics of Santa Claus: Santa Claus, Last of the Wild Men: The Origins and Evolution of Saint Nicholas Spanning 50,000 Years by Phyllis Siefker For those who like their Beef Stick organic and farm fresh: Stocking Stuffers: Homoerotic Christmas Tales edited by David Laurents For those who want some Gore(y) with their Christmas: The Twelve Terrors of Christmas by John...

The nice thing about living in California is that swimsuits are in effect year-round. I’m signing my daughter up for January swim lessons and I’m really considering buying this Darth Vader suit to rock at the pool — b/c seriously, how awesome would that be? But what say you? Too much? ~via Black Milk...

The Fam and I aren’t exchanging holiday gifts this year — and friends will once again get the usual donation to charity in their names. So I’m going to be posting a lot of gift suggestions from now until December 24, in hopes that you and your loved ones can benefit  from these cool items, since my loved ones and I cannot. First up, how super-duper cute are these $26 note pillows? Perfect for that newish GF or BF that you met at that Halloween party this past weekend. ~via...