Share This
Enough Already: Is High-Fructose Corn Syrup Good or Bad?
.
A blogumn by Jordan Weeks
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. If you’re looking to get a good year’s worth of smoke blown directly up your ass in just 30 seconds, turn on your television.
And if you’re lucky, as soon as that goofbox warms up and starts to glow, you’ll catch one of two new commercials trumpeting the (unnamed, nebulous) virtues of high-fructose corn syrup, a molecularly altered version of corn starch, which, over the last forty years, has replaced sucrose (table or cane sugar) and other natural sweetening agents in a huge number of comestibles, becoming the most common sweetening ingredient in untold numbers of food products made and sold in the U.S.
Here are the commercials, if you haven’t seen them:
Another commercial, plus me losing my shit about them after the jump:
Just in case you can’t play play these at wo, here’s a bit of dialogue from one of the commercials:
UNINFORMED PUSHOVER DUDE:
“You know what they say about high-fructose corn syrup.”
ABRASIVE, POPSICLE-PUSHING GIRLFRIEND (PRESUMABLY A USDA MOLE OR SHILL, NOT SURE WHICH ONE):
“Like what?”
UNINFORMED PUSHOVER DUDE:
“That…it’s…that…um…”
“That…it’s…that…um…,” indeed, America. “That…it’s…that…um…,” indeed.
The main chemical difference between sucrose and high-fructose corn syrup (“HFCS” for short) is that sucrose is comprised of fifty-percent glucose and fifty-percent fructose; HFCS 55 (a widely used type of HFCS) contains only forty-five-percent glucose and fifty-five-percent fructose (hence, I imagine, the nominal “high-fructose” designation).
Now, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), the amount of cane and beet sugar available (and presumably used) to sweeten U.S. food products dropped from around 100 dry-weight pounds per capita year in 1966 to about 50 pounds in 2006. Conversely, high-fructose corn syrup’s availability (and, again, presumed use) increased in that same period from zero to over 50 pounds per capita year. Also increased over the years have been tariffs on sugar (sucrose) imported to the U.S. This is no coincidence.
Look, all I’m saying is this:
Fuck high-fructose corn syrup.
High-fructose corn syrup does not exist in nature; people have to make it. And making it involves a lot of chemical mucking-around with corn starch in order to change it into glucose. Once changing the molecular constitution of ingestible goods enters the picture, I think it’s fair to call into question the validity (and safety) of such a change.
New York Times writer Michael Pollan notes in a 2003 article (“The Way We Live Now”; October 12), “The underlying problem is agricultural overproduction.” He goes on to say of The Great Depression, “The problem then, as now, was too much food, not too little.”
HFCS is only being used in all of these foods because it’s so goddammm cheap. And it’s cheap as shit ‘cause there’s so damn much of it. There’s so much of it, in fact, that nobody knows what to DO with it all. “Hey – let’s shove it in our food!” “Hey – let’s shove it in our gas-tanks!” It’s like a chorus of stupid angels.
“Cheap corn,” continues Mr. Pollan, “is truly the building block of the ‘fast-food nation.’ Cheap corn, transformed into high-fructose corn syrup, is what allowed Coca-Cola to move from the svelte 8-ounce bottle of soda ubiquitous in the ‘70’s to the chubby 20-ounce bottle of today. Cheap corn, transformed into cheap beef, is what allowed McDonald’s to supersize its burgers and still sell many of them for no more than a dollar. Cheap corn gave us a whole raft of new highly processed foods, including the world-beating chicken nugget, which, if you study its ingredients, you discover is really a most ingenious transubstantiation of corn, from the cornfed chicken it contains to the bulking and binding agents that hold it together.”
At a bottom-line level, HFCS is a sugar, and as such should not be in everything we consume. Nutritionists, doctors, and dieticians seem to agree pretty roundly that people need sugar, but not very much of it, and certainly not in everything they eat. So maybe the USDA and the FDA should stop cramming this cheap-ass filler/sweetener into every ingestible product under the sun and selling it to us in every aisle of nearly every grocery store in this big, beautiful, misled, stupid country.
Or maybe not.
Peace.
Hilarious take on these super intellegence-offending ads. I laughed my HFCS-super-sized ass off the first time I saw these on TV. I wondered who would believe this crap, but deep down I know that our big, beautiful, misled, stupid country would.
Hilarious take on these super intellegence-offending ads. I laughed my HFCS-super-sized ass off the first time I saw these on TV. I wondered who would believe this crap, but deep down I know that our big, beautiful, misled, stupid country would.
Hilarious take on these super intellegence-offending ads. I laughed my HFCS-super-sized ass off the first time I saw these on TV. I wondered who would believe this crap, but deep down I know that our big, beautiful, misled, stupid country would.
I had never seen these until I read your article about them, but I’ve been telling EVERYBODY about them at work. This is so insane. I can’t believe the corn lobby would even try to pull something like this off.
I love these ads because they remind me of the ridiculous Prop 8 ads about learning to be gay in schools… its CRAZY that corn refiners would even worry that much to make a foolish commercial. CANDY, ETHANOL AND POPCORN aren’t going anywhere even if they remove it from juice, cereal and other healthy foods that shouldn’t have it in there anyway! Silly corn people…
I love these ads because they remind me of the ridiculous Prop 8 ads about learning to be gay in schools… its CRAZY that corn refiners would even worry that much to make a foolish commercial. CANDY, ETHANOL AND POPCORN aren’t going anywhere even if they remove it from juice, cereal and other healthy foods that shouldn’t have it in there anyway! Silly corn people…
I love these ads because they remind me of the ridiculous Prop 8 ads about learning to be gay in schools… its CRAZY that corn refiners would even worry that much to make a foolish commercial. CANDY, ETHANOL AND POPCORN aren’t going anywhere even if they remove it from juice, cereal and other healthy foods that shouldn’t have it in there anyway! Silly corn people…
I’d never seen these before. Crazy. And Delia — it made me think of the No on Prop 2 ads and the idea that free range chicken would lead to a drop in food safety. Uh-huh, sure. The people who believe this are the same people who believe they can eat a Big Mac every day and not gain 20 lbs. They believe b/c they want to believe.
I’d never seen these before. Crazy. And Delia — it made me think of the No on Prop 2 ads and the idea that free range chicken would lead to a drop in food safety. Uh-huh, sure. The people who believe this are the same people who believe they can eat a Big Mac every day and not gain 20 lbs. They believe b/c they want to believe.
I’d never seen these before. Crazy. And Delia — it made me think of the No on Prop 2 ads and the idea that free range chicken would lead to a drop in food safety. Uh-huh, sure. The people who believe this are the same people who believe they can eat a Big Mac every day and not gain 20 lbs. They believe b/c they want to believe.
…Yeah! They said Prop 2 would lead to importing chickens and eggs from Mexico…it makes NO sense.
…Yeah! They said Prop 2 would lead to importing chickens and eggs from Mexico…it makes NO sense.
…Yeah! They said Prop 2 would lead to importing chickens and eggs from Mexico…it makes NO sense.
Hi, my name is Liz and I work for the Corn Refiner’s Association. I wanted to share some information about High Fructose Corn Syrup.
High fructose corn syrup, like table sugar and honey, is composed of fructose and glucose, which are found in many naturally-occurring fruits, vegetables and nuts. And high fructose corn syrup has the same number of calories as sugar and honey – 4 per gram.
For the most part, you’ll find high fructose corn syrup in the same kinds of products in which you would find sugar or other sweeteners. At the same time, corn sweeteners offer some unique functional benefits that help companies offer more choices in food products. High fructose corn syrup keeps foods fresh, enhances fruit and spice flavors, retains moisture in bran cereals, helps keep breakfast and energy bars moist, maintains consistent flavors in beverages, and keeps ingredients evenly dispersed in condiments.
There’s a lot of solid research and information at http://www.SweetSurprise.com and http://www.HFCSFacts.com. Thank you for your consideration.
Hi, my name is Liz and I work for the Corn Refiner’s Association. I wanted to share some information about High Fructose Corn Syrup.
High fructose corn syrup, like table sugar and honey, is composed of fructose and glucose, which are found in many naturally-occurring fruits, vegetables and nuts. And high fructose corn syrup has the same number of calories as sugar and honey – 4 per gram.
For the most part, you’ll find high fructose corn syrup in the same kinds of products in which you would find sugar or other sweeteners. At the same time, corn sweeteners offer some unique functional benefits that help companies offer more choices in food products. High fructose corn syrup keeps foods fresh, enhances fruit and spice flavors, retains moisture in bran cereals, helps keep breakfast and energy bars moist, maintains consistent flavors in beverages, and keeps ingredients evenly dispersed in condiments.
There’s a lot of solid research and information at http://www.SweetSurprise.com and http://www.HFCSFacts.com. Thank you for your consideration.
Hi, my name is Liz and I work for the Corn Refiner’s Association. I wanted to share some information about High Fructose Corn Syrup.
High fructose corn syrup, like table sugar and honey, is composed of fructose and glucose, which are found in many naturally-occurring fruits, vegetables and nuts. And high fructose corn syrup has the same number of calories as sugar and honey – 4 per gram.
For the most part, you’ll find high fructose corn syrup in the same kinds of products in which you would find sugar or other sweeteners. At the same time, corn sweeteners offer some unique functional benefits that help companies offer more choices in food products. High fructose corn syrup keeps foods fresh, enhances fruit and spice flavors, retains moisture in bran cereals, helps keep breakfast and energy bars moist, maintains consistent flavors in beverages, and keeps ingredients evenly dispersed in condiments.
There’s a lot of solid research and information at http://www.SweetSurprise.com and http://www.HFCSFacts.com. Thank you for your consideration.
This is all making me HUNGRY!
haha!
This is all making me HUNGRY!
haha!
This is all making me HUNGRY!
haha!
Liz, thanks for coming on to try to explain your company’s positions, but “for the most part” sounds to me like “just like naturally-occuring sugar, but with a lot more chemicals and preservatives added, which does not really help people seeking a more organic diet.
Your ads are at best misleading. But like Delia said, I don’t think you really have to worry about most people giving up things with high fructose corn syrup. Though, I try to stay away from it, I’m sure you’ve plenty of other customers to keep your sells up, especially since it’s harder to afford healthier alternatives in these economic times.
Liz…
With all due respect, go fuck yourself.
You are a shifty, shady, hurtful, conscience-less, sociopathically money-bent shitpig, as is anyone else who dares defend the (literally) sickening, man-made molecular oddity that is HFCS, as is anyone ELSE, in ANY line of work, who knows the truth about something that is gravely damaging to the very people at whom it is directed, yet uses what is ostensibly legal-jargon as subterfuge to sell it to them, to lull the public (i.e. your CUSTOMERS) into a mild haze of comfort, and then SELL them that very product, whether it’s HFCS or a misguided ideology or information about why one giant military power invaded a small country that never attacked it (hello, Mssrs. Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rove, Rumsfeld). You lie directly to your customers – actually, that’s not true; you ALMOST lie to them, which is worse, because in so doing you presume that nobody is paying enough attention to catch it. Or maybe you think everyone’s too stupid to catch it. I don’t know – it’s one or the other. So which is it, Liz?
What’s so disgusting and offensive here, Liz, is that you know HFCS is not the same as natural sugar, I don’t care HOW many caloric or food-component similarities you cite. And I know you’re not SAYING it’s the same as sugar, but that’s obviously what you want people to THINK you’re saying.
You say it shares all of these properties with sugar – calories, ingredients – and that it’s so great for essentially making food more flavorful and preservable. But guess what? Food – REAL food – isn’t SUPPOSED to stay preserved for extended periods of time. It’s supposed to go BAD. Which it would if you and your criminal friends didn’t keep pumping such otherwise innocuous fare as BREAD full of your lab-hatched, “fuck-you,-fatty” juice. “Look, all of you American loads and loads-to-be, HFCS is SUGAR – what difference does it make what it’s made from or how it’s made? It’s the same amount of calories, has the same basic ingredients in it…it’s just gonna’ end-up on your fat asses, anyway, so eat up!…”
I mean – Jesus CHRIST. Wonderbread and ethanol both contain corn, so by your damaged, convoluted logic they’re pretty much the same. The problem is, they’re not the same. AT ALL.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Please get another job, one that either HELPS people, or at the very least doesn’t secretly HURT them and CLAIM to help them – and encourage everyone you know at your place of employment to do the same.
All my best,
Jordan
Liz…
With all due respect, go fuck yourself.
You are a shifty, shady, hurtful, conscience-less, sociopathically money-bent shitpig, as is anyone else who dares defend the (literally) sickening, man-made molecular oddity that is HFCS, as is anyone ELSE, in ANY line of work, who knows the truth about something that is gravely damaging to the very people at whom it is directed, yet uses what is ostensibly legal-jargon as subterfuge to sell it to them, to lull the public (i.e. your CUSTOMERS) into a mild haze of comfort, and then SELL them that very product, whether it’s HFCS or a misguided ideology or information about why one giant military power invaded a small country that never attacked it (hello, Mssrs. Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rove, Rumsfeld). You lie directly to your customers – actually, that’s not true; you ALMOST lie to them, which is worse, because in so doing you presume that nobody is paying enough attention to catch it. Or maybe you think everyone’s too stupid to catch it. I don’t know – it’s one or the other. So which is it, Liz?
What’s so disgusting and offensive here, Liz, is that you know HFCS is not the same as natural sugar, I don’t care HOW many caloric or food-component similarities you cite. And I know you’re not SAYING it’s the same as sugar, but that’s obviously what you want people to THINK you’re saying.
You say it shares all of these properties with sugar – calories, ingredients – and that it’s so great for essentially making food more flavorful and preservable. But guess what? Food – REAL food – isn’t SUPPOSED to stay preserved for extended periods of time. It’s supposed to go BAD. Which it would if you and your criminal friends didn’t keep pumping such otherwise innocuous fare as BREAD full of your lab-hatched, “fuck-you,-fatty” juice. “Look, all of you American loads and loads-to-be, HFCS is SUGAR – what difference does it make what it’s made from or how it’s made? It’s the same amount of calories, has the same basic ingredients in it…it’s just gonna’ end-up on your fat asses, anyway, so eat up!…”
I mean – Jesus CHRIST. Wonderbread and ethanol both contain corn, so by your damaged, convoluted logic they’re pretty much the same. The problem is, they’re not the same. AT ALL.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Please get another job, one that either HELPS people, or at the very least doesn’t secretly HURT them and CLAIM to help them – and encourage everyone you know at your place of employment to do the same.
All my best,
Jordan
Liz…
With all due respect, go fuck yourself.
You are a shifty, shady, hurtful, conscience-less, sociopathically money-bent shitpig, as is anyone else who dares defend the (literally) sickening, man-made molecular oddity that is HFCS, as is anyone ELSE, in ANY line of work, who knows the truth about something that is gravely damaging to the very people at whom it is directed, yet uses what is ostensibly legal-jargon as subterfuge to sell it to them, to lull the public (i.e. your CUSTOMERS) into a mild haze of comfort, and then SELL them that very product, whether it’s HFCS or a misguided ideology or information about why one giant military power invaded a small country that never attacked it (hello, Mssrs. Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rove, Rumsfeld). You lie directly to your customers – actually, that’s not true; you ALMOST lie to them, which is worse, because in so doing you presume that nobody is paying enough attention to catch it. Or maybe you think everyone’s too stupid to catch it. I don’t know – it’s one or the other. So which is it, Liz?
What’s so disgusting and offensive here, Liz, is that you know HFCS is not the same as natural sugar, I don’t care HOW many caloric or food-component similarities you cite. And I know you’re not SAYING it’s the same as sugar, but that’s obviously what you want people to THINK you’re saying.
You say it shares all of these properties with sugar – calories, ingredients – and that it’s so great for essentially making food more flavorful and preservable. But guess what? Food – REAL food – isn’t SUPPOSED to stay preserved for extended periods of time. It’s supposed to go BAD. Which it would if you and your criminal friends didn’t keep pumping such otherwise innocuous fare as BREAD full of your lab-hatched, “fuck-you,-fatty” juice. “Look, all of you American loads and loads-to-be, HFCS is SUGAR – what difference does it make what it’s made from or how it’s made? It’s the same amount of calories, has the same basic ingredients in it…it’s just gonna’ end-up on your fat asses, anyway, so eat up!…”
I mean – Jesus CHRIST. Wonderbread and ethanol both contain corn, so by your damaged, convoluted logic they’re pretty much the same. The problem is, they’re not the same. AT ALL.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Please get another job, one that either HELPS people, or at the very least doesn’t secretly HURT them and CLAIM to help them – and encourage everyone you know at your place of employment to do the same.
All my best,
Jordan
Hey Liz,
What about this Princeton study? http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/ “A Princeton University research team has demonstrated that all sweeteners are not equal when it comes to weight gain: Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.
In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides. The researchers say the work sheds light on the factors contributing to obesity trends in the United States.”
I have access to Medline. I could probably find you more if you don’t find Princeton a valid source of info.
Hey Liz,
What about this Princeton study? http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/ “A Princeton University research team has demonstrated that all sweeteners are not equal when it comes to weight gain: Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.
In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides. The researchers say the work sheds light on the factors contributing to obesity trends in the United States.”
I have access to Medline. I could probably find you more if you don’t find Princeton a valid source of info.
Hey Liz,
What about this Princeton study? http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/ “A Princeton University research team has demonstrated that all sweeteners are not equal when it comes to weight gain: Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.
In addition to causing significant weight gain in lab animals, long-term consumption of high-fructose corn syrup also led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides. The researchers say the work sheds light on the factors contributing to obesity trends in the United States.”
I have access to Medline. I could probably find you more if you don’t find Princeton a valid source of info.