File This Under: Icky! Icky! Ewwwww!
Gudrun from “Secret Life of a Nerd Girl” is currently stuck in France w/o internet access. Bit of a cowinkydink, I know, given my article earlier this week about not wanting to go anywhere w/o an internet connection. She describes the unexpected wifi disconnect as “quel disatre, but kind of nice” — anyway, she’ll be back w/ another installment of Nerd Girl in two weeks.
Meanwhile, I want to introduce you to this rather traumatizing Jezebel item:
An invention filed with the U.S. Patent Office allows pregnant women to partially insert a balloon in the vagina and push it out, in order to practice giving birth. According to the patent, when inflated in the vagina, the balloon tapers conically toward the waist, which “causes the orifice of the birth canal to dilate in a manner similar to that caused by the emerging head of a baby.” Pregnant women can then “exercise by pushing the balloon out of the vagina in preparation for giving birth.” Supposedly repeatedly birthing the balloon will make the real thing easier and less painful…
Oh, no, no, no! I’m finding it hard to believe that they even found enough pregnant women willing to test out this invention in order to apply for a patent. I’m about to take a birthing class myself, but no way would I want to practice with a balloon. The real thing’s going to be icky enough.
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GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
gross!!! Just do your Kegels
gross!!! Just do your Kegels
no way would i put that thing in my 'gine' when i was pregs. you KNOW it was a man that invented this torture device!! horrifying!!
That was my very first thought, Amanda. I can't find the inventor info, but I can't imagine a woman taking part in this lunacy.
no way would i put that thing in my 'gine' when i was pregs. you KNOW it was a man that invented this torture device!! horrifying!!
That was my very first thought, Amanda. I can't find the inventor info, but I can't imagine a woman taking part in this lunacy.
I know, right? Prenatal yoga is also way more recommended.
I know, right? Prenatal yoga is also way more recommended.
O.M.G. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. This is just a dumb idea in general. Contractions are what help push the baby out so without them, it's a pointless exercise. I also don't know any doctor that would encourage or want their patients to do this. It's just all kinds of wrong.
O.M.G. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. This is just a dumb idea in general. Contractions are what help push the baby out so without them, it's a pointless exercise. I also don't know any doctor that would encourage or want their patients to do this. It's just all kinds of wrong.
It does smack of opportunism, doesn't it? There are already so many things marketed to scared mothers-to-be that we really don't need, and this seems to be in that genre of pre-natal products.
It does smack of opportunism, doesn't it? There are already so many things marketed to scared mothers-to-be that we really don't need, and this seems to be in that genre of pre-natal products.
Ok. I'm not pregnant and I don't want to do that! No. no. no. no. is right.
Ok. I'm not pregnant and I don't want to do that! No. no. no. no. is right.
wow… nasty. and what if it pops?
wow… nasty. and what if it pops?
Having had a baby who tried to come early (at 30 weeks) and having my doctor immediately put me on bed rest for six weeks, I cannot imagine that any doctor would recommend. I would imagine that it might be dangerous. Besides, it is just crazy! Why would I want to simulate child birth, the real thing was bed enough! It took me ten months to even consider talking about going through it again someday.
Having had a baby who tried to come early (at 30 weeks) and having my doctor immediately put me on bed rest for six weeks, I cannot imagine that any doctor would recommend. I would imagine that it might be dangerous. Besides, it is just crazy! Why would I want to simulate child birth, the real thing was bed enough! It took me ten months to even consider talking about going through it again someday.
Ewwwwwww! I so have a feeling this is going to become the next tacky trend, though.
Ewwwwwww! I so have a feeling this is going to become the next tacky trend, though.