I Love Porn! Ask Dr. Miro [What You Didn’t Learn In Health Class]

Dear Dr. Miro,

I like porn. No, I LOVE porn! There, I said it. My boyfriend says it’s not right that I watch so much. Shouldn’t he be excited that I like to watch? I mean, sometimes he’s cool with it and sometimes not. When’s it OK and when isn’t it? Will this affect our long-term relationship?

Sincerely,

Porn Lover & Proud

Dear PL&P,

Liking pornography is definitely not a crime. For your beau to make comments such as, “This isn’t right!” to things you find natural, is merely symptomatic of other moral issues in your relationship. It has been proven that graphic sexual imagery can be a great supplement to an already thriving sex life in a coupling, as long as (and this is important PL&P) everyone involved is on the same page. Sharing sexy images or scenes can greatly spice up your own personal acts! Sometimes, little doses are necessary injections of pizzazz when you have run out of ideas. There is also nothing wrong with using porn to put you over the edge when self-pleasuring.

When pornography becomes a problem is when it is used as a substitute for interacting with your main squeeze or anyone else for that matter. Are you watching clips instead of filing your taxes? If things in your life get put on hold as a result of the time you are putting into adult films, that is when you must step away or it may be judged as “not right.”

The other time it may cause issues, and this is what I think you may be dealing with, PL&P, is if one of the parties is feeling insecure about his or her body or self. Sometimes folks see pornography as rubbing their noses in their “imperfect” selves. It takes a lot of encouragement and communication of needs and wants to keep any relationship running smooth and porn usage is no different. He may be feeling inadequate and unnecessary in your sexual repertoire. Talk to him about what exactly he feels is not right about your desires in a non-defensive manner so that you can figure out a way to navigate this tricky sticky area together in a manner that creates a closer bond.

Lust & Happiness,

Dr. Miro

featured image credit: lauren bailey